hev Report post Posted May 13, 2007 steve has 3 hours of respite 2 days a week,every time its a massive effort to get him to go and thinking of things to do,he doesnt want to go swimming,gets shy with the respite workers in their bikini so thats out been going bowling but hes bored stiff with that as he does it every time,i suggest pictures he says hes embaressed sitting next to respite orker in the pictures. im dreading respite day cos its so stresful but i need the break he doesnt go to school at all,hes 13,any ideas would be helpful.what do your kids do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted May 13, 2007 hev, wish I could think of something! But Bill would be exactly the same. He doesn't want to do anything at all other than sit infront of his computer.... he can't even really be bothered with the kitten other than to claim ownership over it when we try to change it's name! Does he like walking? Is there anywhere fairly local where the respite worker could take him for a walk, a nature trail? An ice rink? amusement arcade? window shopping? Playing footie on the beach? Museums? A visit to the airport? Flo' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted May 13, 2007 thanks flo <'> <'> apparently they have to work in a certain radius so cant travel too far out and gravesend is pretty boring ice rink sounds good,im gonna look in to that one he hates walking Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted May 13, 2007 I'd go for anything that burns off a bit of energy Hev - lots of activity, wear the lad out. Biking, paintballing, laser quest, or would that be too stimulating? Ok he doesnt like walking but maybe something like orienteering where he has to find places etc, or one of those sculpture trails where theres interesting stuff to look at? Keep going with it anyway hun, you need the break. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted May 13, 2007 A bike ride, going to the local wood and making a swing, in a tree, a rock climbing complex, paintball where you hit each other with guns that shoot out paint, great fun, what about the cadets I suggested, he could help him find one that he could meet the leaders and help him settle in. an adventure playground, or an outdoor centre that would challenge him, absailing, conoeing ect... what about one of the evenings he just hangs out in his room, playing ps2 games, watching a dvd, or something where they chill. a college that has evening classes such as cookery or learning a language, and they go together. its going to be difficult for the first few sessions, building up trust and a rapour, its hard for the carer too. but one thing to point out is when he is in the cinema no one can tell that he is a carer, to others he is just maybe a relative or a friend. cinema is good but J gets fidgety and cant handle the staying in a seat very well, so this might be a bit restrictive. it sounds as though he needs a challenge and something that uses his energy. Good Luck and what a mad thing about the radius, issue, that kind of limits it then, cricky if I was to place a radius as a mum I think it would be critized straight away, I guess its about traveling distances and time commitments. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted May 13, 2007 Oh Hev, I know exactly how you feel you fight to get the repite then your child doesn't wanna go, my son has been exactly the same on many occasions and it drives me fliping mad. The respite worker has now said he will sit in his car for the duration of 3 hours incase son changes his mind and goes out with him, annoys me cos he could come in and keep him company so I could go out, lol Things i've found in the past that my son likes doing are ........ fishing in woods swinging of swing ropes (worker doens't like him doing it though) or making dens looking for rag worm at the beach, lol cycle rides or to skate park ice skating bowling fossil hunting park for games swimming looking around shops taking dingy boat to beach and they tie rope to it whilst son tries to paddle it atthe moment I have enroled my son into diving lessons at his local swim baths and respite workertakes him, so far only 2 lessons he's hooked on it and everyday he asks when is it Tuesday things my son would really love to do but I can't afford and his age is another matter........ paintballing quad biking motorcross lazer quest rock climbing kayaking row boats skiing (wet and dry slopes) Some other things your son may like .......... museams galleries aquariums look at buildings take him to allotments, lol thinking of that my son would be very into his own allotment Some of the things you may not consider that safe, many of them i don't but my son likes living dangerously, lol Where we live we're also quite lucky as we have so much nearby it might be worth just doing internet searches for many of the things in your area also ask s/s if they will fund some of the more expensive stufff Could the repite worker if ok with going in the home play out in garden with him or play games in home, make food (my son enjoys cooking) I don't know what else to suggest but I think you need to find something that your son is interested in and maybe build his sessions around that, if he likes playstations etc how about she take him into town playing the latest ones in the shops. Hope you get something sorted, Take Care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted May 13, 2007 I take it, from the reference to the bikini, that the respite worker is a youngish woman, hence the embarrassment?? Would he be happier going out with a man? K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pippin Report post Posted May 14, 2007 (edited) Oh Hev.....havent they even thought this one through?? What are they thinking of, sending a 13 year old lad out with a bikini clad "babe", especially one with dodgy social skills. (lad, not babe, that is) It's just not fair. Most NT lads of that age would stress out....Hormone city!!! They need to find the poor kid a Bloke. Edited May 14, 2007 by Pippin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elly Report post Posted May 14, 2007 It seems madness that your son has a female respite carer. Surely the powers that be would know how difficult a teenage boy would find relating to a female? As for her wearing a bikini, I would be inclined to complain as it is totally inapropriate. Your son is at an age where the whole world is boring Coping with puberty is hard enough without throwing in ASD to the equation. Could the respite carer not stay at home with him on one of the days and allow you to go out? Maybe they could take him to help work on a local community project? I wonder if you could all sit down and make a plan for the weeks to come so he knows exactley what he is doing and when? Once the plan is agreed he would need to be aware that, as he agreed to it, he has to stick to it? Yeah, I know easier said than done; just throwing about some thoughts Keep smilin Elly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MelowMeldrew Report post Posted May 14, 2007 I've started using some respite, more for my boy than me really, to widen his outlook a bit more.. it's only 2 hours every two weeks, early days he doesn't say much about it..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted May 14, 2007 Struggling with the respite as well, finally have managed to get 2 hours per week BUT social services insist that is ONLY to be used to go out to social situations as they feel he is 'socially isolated'. Worker took him to youth club which he hated (it didn't help that the worker ended up at the cafe just leaving him to it...), and there isn't anything else out here to do without driving 45 minutes first.... She almost refused to come last week, managed to convince her she had to earn his trust again first before going anywhere. According to her he MUST attend a club or something. He just wants to go out walking/hiking in the forests and moors which ofcourse isn't very social. He doesn't WANT to be social............. and anyway, youth club timing interferes with his evening injections and as the worker won't give them to him he has to come home for them... it almost feels as if the respite only increases the need for respite instead of being respite. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted May 14, 2007 ive just looked up ice skating which is fairly near us,gonna phone respite people to see what they say Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MelowMeldrew Report post Posted May 15, 2007 My lad has been there did just about everything, he was unimpressed ! We twigged in the end he just couldn't care less about being shown what the rest of the world was doing, he DOES enjoy the journey to wherever we take him, and will nag us to take him (He likes train journeys particualrly), but he does not get involved in any way with what goes on when we get there, and will start talking about going home after 5 minutes, cos he likes the ride, we began to wonder what was the point as the while idea was to widen his experience. Involvement is nil or next to, with any other individual or child too, he likes me taking him, that's enough ! Hence why I am trying yet another option to take him places, to see if he will interact with them, he hasn't in the past but...... crossed fingers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
