lisa35 Report post Posted June 4, 2007 Hi, just looking for words of wisdom really, my son is 12 in Sept, but I feel l ike hes more like an 8 yr old, the simplest things seem to be getting harder and he seems to be getting more and more demanding, as I type he is hollering me from the bathroom to pass the soap! I feel l ike he demands our attention every second of the day, so much so than a typical lad of his age. He doesnt even run his own bath/ or get in shower, would just sit in bath in a dream if I didnt nag him to pick up soap and wash!Guess at mo has hormones rampaging, but just wondered if anyonbe has any ideas how I could get him to shower/bath independantly Such a small thing would make our lives so much easier If I admit to colleagues stuff like this they just think we run round after him, if only that was reason!!! Thansk Lisa PS at this rate he ll be 40 and Ill still be nagging him! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charliesmomuk Report post Posted June 4, 2007 Have you tried a visual prompt? I bought his from ebay http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/VISUAL-SHOWERING-PRO...1QQcmdZViewItem and since then have made my own with a free trial of windows boardmaker. It really does help!!! My son is very similar (he's 10) he has NO self help skills at all.. would happily sit naked all day long (we have a prompt for dressing now) and we are working on the showering withthe aid of the prompt... When Charlie starts zoning out I metnion his dressing prompt (he ahs to move ticks to the finished position when he has done stuff) and it does help move him along! Julesx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted June 4, 2007 lisa steven calls me all the time and its very wearing,he just called me from his room to ask where i am ,hes 13 and he knew i was downstairs doesnt stop calling me,very demanding,in a lot of ways he acts younger than my 4 year old but cos he looks normal its v hard to explain to people hang in there love <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted June 4, 2007 My 9 and 13 year old and a bath/shower... nope, definitely don't go together, and definitely both need a hell of a lot of prompting (for days on end) before they'll go in (after I've run it/set it), and then they'll stay in so long I have to prompt them out again.... My kids (DS2+3) fortunately don't shout as much to know where I am but will either ask a question, or come and find me, all this is only to ascertain that I am still there for them, a lot of the time I think it is purely needing reassurance that all is fine and mum is where she 'should' be, I think it stems from insecurity and the need to know they are not left alone/behind. An example out of the house is when we are going for a walk, and DS2 has to do up his shoelaces; if I even start moving on before he is ready (and I still have to refuse to do it for him), he will get really upset and then oppositional because he is afraid I might walk on and leave him behind; it is based on pure raw fear, even though I have never left him behind he still fears it. Example indoors is if they are watching a movie together, one or the other will keep coming up with little excuses or just to give me a hug. Endearing maybe, but those are usually the times I use to write a letter or something and their constant interruptions drive me nuts and stop me from getting on with it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted June 5, 2007 Have you tried a kitchen timer? Doesnt work for all it just stresses JP out even more but I've heard it works for some. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
puffin Report post Posted June 5, 2007 I have had the same problem with M. I have done it in stages gradually trying to move myself out of the bathroom for longer periods although she does try to get me back. She can now manage with prompts and a reward at the end - at the moment she really likes a shoulder massage when she comes out of the shower. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lynyona Report post Posted June 5, 2007 That visiual prompt thing is ace but i dont think k would take any notice of it lol him and bath/shower dont go together in fact him and water and dont we know it so why doesnt he.And at 21 what hope have we got lynn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted June 5, 2007 Yep, lisa35, my lad is exactly the same, coming on 14 and extremely demanding and needy, for want of a better word. He's terrified of growing up and doesn't want to do things for himself or be independent. We've just got him peeling his own apple, previously I did some of it for him and got him to complete it. Now he can do it all for himself, but still every single time he has an apple he moans and groans about why does he have to do it himself, he hates doing it and he makes a real fuss, like a toddler! He would avoid having apples from now on altogether in order to avoid having to bother to peel it if I let him. We just carry on making him do it and hope soon he'll do it without all the ear-ache! But, yes, they are so demanding, aren't they! Jay can't be left on his own yet while we pop out, nor can he pop out on his own, because he is just too immature and afraid and we do worry when, and IF, it will actually ever happen. Sorry, no words of wisdom, but total understanding of how frustrating it is. <'> <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisa35 Report post Posted June 5, 2007 thanks all, lots of tips to try, think Ill try the visual shower timetable, we did a similar thing with getting dressed ,a nd maybe even the timer, I dont think he has much sense of time, so may help The apple peeling made me smile, joe wont even make himself a sandwich, but we do same, keep nagging him! Lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted June 7, 2007 my lad is exactly the same, coming on 14 and extremely demanding and needy, for want of a better word. He's terrified of growing up and doesn't want to do things for himself or be independent. Jay can't be left on his own yet while we pop out, nor can he pop out on his own, because he is just too immature and afraid and we do worry when, and IF, it will actually ever happen. Oh Oxgirl, that is exacly my son! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted June 7, 2007 my lad is exactly the same, coming on 14 and extremely demanding and needy, for want of a better word. He's terrified of growing up and doesn't want to do things for himself or be independent. Jay can't be left on his own yet while we pop out, nor can he pop out on his own, because he is just too immature and afraid and we do worry when, and IF, it will actually ever happen. Oh Oxgirl, that is exacly my son! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted June 7, 2007 Oh Oxgirl, that is exacly my son! <'> <'> <'> MIN <'> <'> <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikergal Report post Posted June 7, 2007 My daughter, too! It is a big worry of mine but I'm hoping one day things may just 'click'. I do everything for her, if she will do anything it has to be made to look like her idea. As for personal hygiene she isn't bothered, I do it for her so she doesn't stand out from her peer group. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
