my sons assessment.will we be listend to and understood?

[Lolly]

my son is being assessed nxt week after a referral from our doctor (this is the 2nd time ive sought help/advice from a doctor in 2 years)& it came to light he should actually have been refered LAST YEAR ,he's 8 now & from the age of 5 he has been on School Action Plus and a IEP, he does some numbers&letters back to front (although not as much as before)

hes always climbing&jumping..doesnt go to sleep till after 10pm,appears not to be listening when spoken to,he has very poor concentration/ easily distracted,he loses things and often forgets whats hes doing,say, I ask him to 'brush teeth&put shoes on' I'l find him wandering round his bedroom with neither thing done!

I changed his(and brothers) school 5 mths ago due to bullying.

His previous school were aware of his inattention&made sure it was brought up on parents evening, quote"Jamie doesn't listen..shows no interest...stares into space..is away with the fairies"

I have spoken to his new school about this and obviously they will have his records,I got told by his class teacher on our 1st visit.."Oh dont worry,hes not the only one and we will help him,dont u worry, have u tried fish oils?!"(im sick of hearing about fish oils..been there,done that.i wouldnt mind, he eats LOADS of fish ANYWAY!)

his work has not improved,hes still at SAP and on a IEP,yet it seems hes 'singled out' by his teacher,

for instance,the hometime bell went the other day&as I looked thru the class door he was nowere to be seen...,till i looked further&he was sat at a desk at the front of the class on his own(he didnt see me)he got up & presented his workbook to the teacher who sent him back to his desk..he stamped his foot &shouted" AS IF!!" he was clearly frustrated and the next thing he flew out of class.

I made out like Id just got there& I asked what he had been doing in class before home time, he said they were doing'science' and he didnt understand it/couldnt do it so got his desk moved&was told he couldnt leave the room till he had finished so in his frustration he ran out&told me what happend,he's very honest like that!

YESTERDAY he was told to write a sentence about a topic,jamie went to the teacher& said he had no ideas so then sat there gazing into space,

he was then told if he didnt write one sentence he wud write several,he still sat there as he couldnt do it,he was then sent to the reception class(2 years below) to do his work as he 'wont get nothing done by not listening'

today he was told off for staring at a leak in his class ceiling,he said he couldnt help it as it was 'bugging him' so he HAD to look or he would get his 'tickly legs' and want to walk around,

I feel like he is being labelled as 'the bad one' and being 'got at'

Jamie even said he knows his teacher doesnt like him and says "its ALWAYS ME NO MATTER WHAT,She doesn't listen when I try explain things..ITS ALWAYS ME,,IM JAMIE,,JUST JAMIE & I always get shouted at or sent out of class because IM JUST JAMIE.

THIS breaks my heart,he isnt 'JUST JAMIE' hes my darling son&DESERVES to be treated fairly and enjoy his time at school,

I talk to Jamie to try understand how he feels&why he does certain things,he told me that when he wakes up ,its like someone puts a key in his back and winds him up so that the 'engine' in his tummy can start, thats why hes always so busy..when that 'engine' slows down he get 'tickly legs' and is fidgety but then makes the 'engine' start up again

id be happy for any advice/listen etc.what ever the outcome of his assessment,I just want Jamie to get the education and respect he damn well deserves

lolly x

[JsMum]

Hi Lolly, Can I say that my boy is the exact same as yours, and he has ADHD, the description you have given are clear cut attention deficit, and your son is been managed so wrong its effecting his other development, like psychological, self esteem, confidence, this is why its so important to identify ADHD because they need a different aproach and defo a statement to put in place a learning support worker to help him keep on track.

 

ADHD children cant have any more than one instruction because of thier short term memory impairments, he has forgotten what to do because there was too much information, they also need visual clues which why its goog to have a visual tasks programme.

 

Its clear the school are not meeting his needs and they are discriminating him by exclusion, which is ironic isnt it when they use the word inclusion for special needs children who are educated in the mainstream education system.

 

There could be an indecation of Dyslexia here as well with the writing in reversal and difficulties doing independant work, he simply doesnt understand it and he cant possibly put his ideas on paper, so he disconnects and goes somewhere where he feels safer, into space.

 

Its going to be very important to find a teacher that understands ADHD and can identify his difficulties and specialist help with the assessment for Dyslexia, the social issues and lack if imagination when it comes to thinking up ideas of his own could be signs of an Autistic Spectrum Disorder what is clear is that your son is terribly let down by his teacher, she isnt supporting him but punishing him and isolating him you took him out of a school because of children bullying him, now he is recieving it in another way, I would look into a school that has good special needs ethos, I cant say for definate your child has ADHD as he will need a full assessment but child has all the same difficulties as yours.

 

If this doesnt get identified then untreated ADHD can cause further disorders and cause considerable amount of frustration and anxiety.

 

I hope that the assessment can provide your son some key support, prefrably a 1-1 support, group work, social skills, confidence and self esteem raising games and I would look into asking the doctor for a referral into a childrens developmental assessment or the childrens mental health service for further assessments.

 

The school are not meeting/identifing/addressing his needs, full stop.

 

JsMum

[Lolly]

Hi Jsmum,thanks so much for the reply

Im glad to know there are others out there like us

at J's school theres a few children with special needs and or emotional difficulties&they seem to be taken notice of&I dont mean that in an awful way

J teacher is quick to point out when he has been rude or hurt someone&Im made to feel like im just a mum 'sticking up for my 'perfect' child'

he gets very frustrated when he isnt listend to&even more when he knows hes right,His teacher had a rite go at me one day in the corridor because j had pushed another child over..&when asked why he did it he said cos it served them right because she broke his model that took him ages to make&the teacher shouted over him"ERR I DONT THINK THATS THE CASE AT ALL IS IT YOUNG MAN&YOU ARE VERY RUDE"

this caused j to flip&call her a b*t*h as he was adamant this is what happened

 

again his teacher shouted over him blaming him,he kicked off on the way home&was sobbing&shaking with rage&frustration and said he might aswell be dead(that broke my heart)..I knew he was telling the truth cos if he is in the right&doesnt get listend to he gets upset..if hes wrong or fibbing he grins&forgets what he was saying so trips himself up!

 

Ive talked to him&told him not to hit out but tell a teacher&i get the same answer"they dont listen,they say hands down"

he was getting called names in class the other day&told the teacher but the name calling continued,he got that wound up he stormed out of class and was told"get back in here or go home its up to you"

the poor love was upset&confused when I picked him up, he said he was so angry&wanted to smack this child but he was a good boy and walked away from the situation(which they are taught to do) yet then got told off! he really didnt want to go back into his class and didnt dare say 'home' incase I told him off!

I was proud of him for walking away and I think his teacher should of been too!

he says hes scared of her and she just picks on him becasue he is naughty and not 'normal', thats an awful thing for him to think of himself,no wonder he has no confidence!

im just glad that the people coming to assess him are getting in touch with his school,then his teacher might realise he not just being naughty&im not just making excuses for his behaviour and I AM trying to get help as I feel they have failed my child in a way,surely instead of punishiing him for what he does,they should be looking into WHY he says&does the things he does.I hope it all turns out ok&he gets the help he needs cos Im finding it hard now&Im tired having spent 4years trying to talk with teachers to find out what is'wrong' only to be given his SEN reveiw to find hes STILL on school action+

I hope everything is well within your family:)

Lolly x

[jlp]

I don't think his reactions are that unusual if he's been blamed for things he hasn't done or not listened too when he tries to tell.

 

My son would flip too - he sees things in black or white and if someone had broke a model of his (even by accident, he wouldn't understand 'accidents') he would feel that he had to do something. If the teacher said something hadn't happened and it had, he would flip too - it's the injustice of it all!

 

Glad he's being assessed finally, it must be very upsetting having him treat as a naughty boy (this happened with ds#1 in his first school).

[Lolly]

I don't think his reactions are that unusual if he's been blamed for things he hasn't done or not listened too when he tries to tell.

 

My son would flip too - he sees things in black or white and if someone had broke a model of his (even by accident, he wouldn't understand 'accidents') he would feel that he had to do something. If the teacher said something hadn't happened and it had, he would flip too - it's the injustice of it all!

 

Glad he's being assessed finally, it must be very upsetting having him treat as a naughty boy (this happened with ds#1 in his first school).

thanks so much for the reply,glad to know im not the only one out there!! as it is very upsetting&also distressing for my Ds

[pumpkinpie]

So he is on school action plus, what extra help is he getting and what agencies are involved? He shoudl have an iep have you been involved in it and had any reviews with the teacher and senco?

[Lolly]

So he is on school action plus, what extra help is he getting and what agencies are involved? He shoudl have an iep have you been involved in it and had any reviews with the teacher and senco?

 

Hi Pumpkinpie,I changed my sons school 5 mths ago due to bullying&i had one letter a year about his progress,yes he been on school action plus since he was in year1(5yrs old) and has an IEP Ive had a letter(review) every term or so telling me J remains at SA+ and what his targets are,eg,literacy/numeracy to be able to read write&spell year 1&2 words(hes now in year 4) and for me to listen to reading&help at home,this is the same info as i have had from his new school,Ive done my best with this yet he remains at SA+.He goes to a special needs teacher every tuesday,this is all I know,Hes recently been put on a traffic light system for his behaviour as he has no concentration,finds work difficult to understand &gets frustrated&ends up being sent out of class for gazing into space,Luckily today I met with the school support worker who gave j the traffic light system&also a time out card incase he needs to leave the class due to frustration/anger or the*fidgeting&tickly legs he gets* as his teacher seems to have been getting at him over the last few days&labelling him*disruptive/cheeky/badly behaved* ive tried to explain about getting help&i got brushed aside like I was trying to defend my *perfect child* Im hoping now these measures have been put in place at school &also with a social worker who assessed him& suggested a connors&CAMHS involvment has had effectμ Ds son will get the help he needs:)

Id be grateful for any advice:)