Lolly

aww bless ya hunni,yeah J is being assessed for ADHD(so at school he is THE NAUGHTY BOY!)he only sniffs when he's 'winding down' in bed and trying to go to sleep(round about 10:30-11pm) ..when he says"the key is winding down&he gets the 'bugging feeling' which makes him 'BUSY& WANTING TO RUN AROUND' He only swears when he is in a stressed situation,like today he had to be peeled off the bookcase AGAIN as he wouldnt go into class with *that fu***** mean fat b**** Who is a TA who often stands in for his normal teacher,I really hope he gets sorted because,every day now is harder&im sick of the tears,Im not imagining it...am I? j's 6 yr old brother is TOTALLY different.always good,getting awards&praise from staff etc,any advice is welcomed alll my best to you xxxx

thanks so much for the replies..its good to know im not alone! Its just difficult at the mo cos as of yet my son hasnt been seen by CAMHS so he is just seen as a naughty boy who doesnt listen/take notice..even the head dinner lady is after getting him excluded on a lunch time for..wait for it....tying his jumper on the climbing frame!!(everyone says shes real hard� many kids/parents like her lol) Had a real tough day yesterday,went on a school trip to a large church where my son's class had work displayed there along with many other schools as a project thingy well,we'd not been there 10 mins when he announced "I dont do churches and god squad bible bashing s**t,this is as boring as f*****g s*** and I want to go home Then started to run around all the artwork displays,I asked him to hold my hand and behave like the rest of the group,he refused,so i took his hand(trying to remain calm,the fact i was in this church place,with other children&teachers!) thats when it kicked off,he nipped,peeled my fingers off him,making me bleed, called me a b***,went to bite me,stamped on my foot&threw himself on the floor, all without any emotion on his face..just a blank nothing.I walked away as i was close to tears 10 mins later after a teacher had spoke to to him about upsetting mummy,he came to apologise&said he would behave from then on... NOT EVEN 5 MINS LATER was he running up&down the church,climbing on the pews pretending to pray&asking"whats that smell..I bet jesus has farted" ARRGHHH,I really cud tear my hair out,I just hope my dear son get the help he needs

HIYA ALL OF YA:) xxxx FELT I HAD to post,well ok,NEEDED TO POST as Im just sick of certain *comments* SORRY if u've read my posts about the stress Im having with my 8 year old son,if so, I'm sorry for wittering on, my Ds was assessed at home& the report came back he needs to be screened for ADHD/ASD and also obsessive&eccentric traits..I'm waiting on CAMHS now.. forgive me if I speak out of turn , Ive spoken to close friends about his behaviours/him being on school action plus special needs and an IEP since he was 5. I've also tried to explain*he doesnt understand/mean it in malice(when hes kicking off&swearing etc)(NOT THAT ITS AN EXCUSE FOR RUDENESS ETC) Im sick to death of getting the *roll eyes,look up&down,the 'AWWWW' & then suggesting he doesnt have juice/sugar/sweets* YET when I explain these things have been stopped,I get looked at AGAIN as if "OH,you've got a naughty child" I feel bad having to *explain* myself (which I shouldnt have to) Ive had comments like"OH NO,HE'S NOT LIKE THAT he's a GOOD BOY,(to me that meant all children with ASD are naughty,not good..GRRRR!!!!)because everytime hes's been with me he's been so good and polite,he's never a problem"... ALSO comments from school "OHH he was such a good boy when he started this school,whats got into him,he was never like this (swearing, sniffing,cant sit still,pen tapping,walking out of class) but We dont know whats got into him,his concentration is terrible and his behaviour & rudeness is getting out of hand(BAD PARENT feeling there) also Ive been *advised* that the *naughty* children in the school(who have a seperate room) could be 'rubbing off* on my son & he's behaving *bad* so he can go in this *special room* ALL this just P****s me off totallly, cos Im made to feel that Im a nagging mum& that Children with 'ADHD,ASD/LEARNING DIFFICULTIES,are being somewhat accused of*rubbing off on others &'behave badly* for their benefit, WHY WOULD THEY?? then if thats the case why isnt Jay *rubbing* off on his 6yr old brother? they are SO MUCH ALIKE as brothers(friends cant tell them apart wen in bath/sleeping..I CAN lol)but as People they are SO DIFFERENT! my little boy is struggling,cant sit still,swears&doesnt go to sleep till 11pm, YEAH ive been a single mum since my jay was 2yrs and his brother 3 mths BUT DO I BLAME A *NAUGHTY KID IN SCHOOL FOR HIS BEHAVIOUR?????? sorry for ranting,but I HAD TO SAY IT..does anyone else get the"naughty child/bad parent" feeling that I do? I'd love to hear form ANYONE....advice/opinion/chat/cry/stomp/I LISTEN TOO:)

Im going thru the same with my son,who's waiting to be see by CAMHS for poss ADHD/ASD. Ive tried,ignoring,telling off etc etc&nothing works here! fave words at the moment here are "kiss my ass" d**k f***s sake and p*** off you big fat b***H(Usually to his teacher):cringe:

Hi Pumpkinpie,I changed my sons school 5 mths ago due to bullying&i had one letter a year about his progress,yes he been on school action plus since he was in year1(5yrs old) and has an IEP Ive had a letter(review) every term or so telling me J remains at SA+ and what his targets are,eg,literacy/numeracy to be able to read write&spell year 1&2 words(hes now in year 4) and for me to listen to reading&help at home,this is the same info as i have had from his new school,Ive done my best with this yet he remains at SA+.He goes to a special needs teacher every tuesday,this is all I know,Hes recently been put on a traffic light system for his behaviour as he has no concentration,finds work difficult to understand &gets frustrated&ends up being sent out of class for gazing into space,Luckily today I met with the school support worker who gave j the traffic light system&also a time out card incase he needs to leave the class due to frustration/anger or the*fidgeting&tickly legs he gets* as his teacher seems to have been getting at him over the last few days&labelling him*disruptive/cheeky/badly behaved* ive tried to explain about getting help&i got brushed aside like I was trying to defend my *perfect child* Im hoping now these measures have been put in place at school &also with a social worker who assessed him& suggested a connors&CAMHS involvment has had effectμ Ds son will get the help he needs:) Id be grateful for any advice:)

thanks so much for the reply,glad to know im not the only one out there!! as it is very upsetting&also distressing for my Ds

quote name='mrs fussy' date='Jun 16 2007, 10:47 PM' post='156595'] Hi everyone, our sons school said they were going to request statutory assessment, but seem to be reluctant at the moment to do so, (we think this is because our relationship with them recently hasnt been the best) we were wondering if parents request assessment is it less likely the LEA will assess, from your experiences which is mostly likely to be successful our request or a schools request. Thanks for any replys in advance Mrs Fussy x Hi Mrs Fussy,I dont know if this is of any help, my son has had probs at school for 4 years now&has remained on school action plus throughout, its as if the school cant be bothered to help him any further.I had him to the doctors about his behaviour&lack of concentration twice in 2 years as the first docotr told me I was imagining things cos I was tired,the cheek!!I saw another doctor 2 weeks ago and he has refered my son who is getting assessed tomorrow.maybe u can request the assessment cos I know what schools are like,ours seems to sweep things under the table. sorry thats not much help as its all I know(nothing!) Lolly:)

Please will you go to bed for me at 9 tonight ,Im worn out today&keep getting tearful..even the sound of the washer is 'getting to me' how bad is that for a mummy cos we aint supposed to get tired! not that u can tell an 8 year old that who needs to be sat with till he goes to sleep so he stops sniffing, making noises,fidgeting and kicking his legs around,anyone else go through what I do on a night? I'd be grateful for any advice/listen Lolly

Hi Jsmum,thanks so much for the reply Im glad to know there are others out there like us at J's school theres a few children with special needs and or emotional difficulties&they seem to be taken notice of&I dont mean that in an awful way J teacher is quick to point out when he has been rude or hurt someone&Im made to feel like im just a mum 'sticking up for my 'perfect' child' he gets very frustrated when he isnt listend to&even more when he knows hes right,His teacher had a rite go at me one day in the corridor because j had pushed another child over..&when asked why he did it he said cos it served them right because she broke his model that took him ages to make&the teacher shouted over him"ERR I DONT THINK THATS THE CASE AT ALL IS IT YOUNG MAN&YOU ARE VERY RUDE" this caused j to flip&call her a b*t*h as he was adamant this is what happened again his teacher shouted over him blaming him,he kicked off on the way home&was sobbing&shaking with rage&frustration and said he might aswell be dead(that broke my heart)..I knew he was telling the truth cos if he is in the right&doesnt get listend to he gets upset..if hes wrong or fibbing he grins&forgets what he was saying so trips himself up! Ive talked to him&told him not to hit out but tell a teacher&i get the same answer"they dont listen,they say hands down" he was getting called names in class the other day&told the teacher but the name calling continued,he got that wound up he stormed out of class and was told"get back in here or go home its up to you" the poor love was upset&confused when I picked him up, he said he was so angry&wanted to smack this child but he was a good boy and walked away from the situation(which they are taught to do) yet then got told off! he really didnt want to go back into his class and didnt dare say 'home' incase I told him off! I was proud of him for walking away and I think his teacher should of been too! he says hes scared of her and she just picks on him becasue he is naughty and not 'normal', thats an awful thing for him to think of himself,no wonder he has no confidence! im just glad that the people coming to assess him are getting in touch with his school,then his teacher might realise he not just being naughty&im not just making excuses for his behaviour and I AM trying to get help as I feel they have failed my child in a way,surely instead of punishiing him for what he does,they should be looking into WHY he says&does the things he does.I hope it all turns out ok&he gets the help he needs cos Im finding it hard now&Im tired having spent 4years trying to talk with teachers to find out what is'wrong' only to be given his SEN reveiw to find hes STILL on school action+ I hope everything is well within your family:) Lolly x

my son is being assessed nxt week after a referral from our doctor (this is the 2nd time ive sought help/advice from a doctor in 2 years)& it came to light he should actually have been refered LAST YEAR ,he's 8 now & from the age of 5 he has been on School Action Plus and a IEP, he does some numbers&letters back to front (although not as much as before) hes always climbing&jumping..doesnt go to sleep till after 10pm,appears not to be listening when spoken to,he has very poor concentration/ easily distracted,he loses things and often forgets whats hes doing,say, I ask him to 'brush teeth&put shoes on' I'l find him wandering round his bedroom with neither thing done! I changed his(and brothers) school 5 mths ago due to bullying. His previous school were aware of his inattention&made sure it was brought up on parents evening, quote"Jamie doesn't listen..shows no interest...stares into space..is away with the fairies" I have spoken to his new school about this and obviously they will have his records,I got told by his class teacher on our 1st visit.."Oh dont worry,hes not the only one and we will help him,dont u worry, have u tried fish oils?!"(im sick of hearing about fish oils..been there,done that.i wouldnt mind, he eats LOADS of fish ANYWAY!) his work has not improved,hes still at SAP and on a IEP,yet it seems hes 'singled out' by his teacher, for instance,the hometime bell went the other day&as I looked thru the class door he was nowere to be seen...,till i looked further&he was sat at a desk at the front of the class on his own(he didnt see me)he got up & presented his workbook to the teacher who sent him back to his desk..he stamped his foot &shouted" AS IF!!" he was clearly frustrated and the next thing he flew out of class. I made out like Id just got there& I asked what he had been doing in class before home time, he said they were doing'science' and he didnt understand it/couldnt do it so got his desk moved&was told he couldnt leave the room till he had finished so in his frustration he ran out&told me what happend,he's very honest like that! YESTERDAY he was told to write a sentence about a topic,jamie went to the teacher& said he had no ideas so then sat there gazing into space, he was then told if he didnt write one sentence he wud write several,he still sat there as he couldnt do it,he was then sent to the reception class(2 years below) to do his work as he 'wont get nothing done by not listening' today he was told off for staring at a leak in his class ceiling,he said he couldnt help it as it was 'bugging him' so he HAD to look or he would get his 'tickly legs' and want to walk around, I feel like he is being labelled as 'the bad one' and being 'got at' Jamie even said he knows his teacher doesnt like him and says "its ALWAYS ME NO MATTER WHAT,She doesn't listen when I try explain things..ITS ALWAYS ME,,IM JAMIE,,JUST JAMIE & I always get shouted at or sent out of class because IM JUST JAMIE. THIS breaks my heart,he isnt 'JUST JAMIE' hes my darling son&DESERVES to be treated fairly and enjoy his time at school, I talk to Jamie to try understand how he feels&why he does certain things,he told me that when he wakes up ,its like someone puts a key in his back and winds him up so that the 'engine' in his tummy can start, thats why hes always so busy..when that 'engine' slows down he get 'tickly legs' and is fidgety but then makes the 'engine' start up again id be happy for any advice/listen etc.what ever the outcome of his assessment,I just want Jamie to get the education and respect he damn well deserves lolly x

I feel for you, I really do..my son is being assessed on monday by the local authority,he's 8 now & from the age of 5 he has been on School Action Plus and a IEP, he does some numbers&letters back to front (although not as much as before) hes always climbing&jumping..doesnt go to sleep till after 10pm,he has very poor concentration/ easily distracted and appears to be'not listening'when spoken to. I changed his(and brothers) school 5 mths ago due to bullying.his previous school were aware of his inattention&made sure it was brought up on parents evening, quote"Jamie doesnt listen..shows no interest...stares into space..is away with the fairies" I have spoken to his new school about this and obviously they will have his records,I got told by his class teacher on our 1st visit.."oh dont worry,hes not the only one and we will help him,dont u worry, have u tried fish oils?!" his work has not improved,hes still at SAP and on a IEP,yet it seems hes 'singled out' by his teacher, for instance,the hometime bell went the other day&as i looked thru the class door he wasnt there,till i looked further&he was sat at a desk at the front of the class on his own(he didnt see me)he presented his work to the teacher who sent him back to his desk..he stamped his feet&shouted" AS IF!!"next thing he flew out of class so I asked what he had been doing today he said they were doing'science' and he didnt understand it/couldnt do it so got moved&was told he couldnt leave the room till he had finished(in frustration he ran out&told me what happend,he's very honest like that) YESTERDAY he was told to write a sentence about a topic,jamie went to the teacher& said he had no ideas so then sat there gazing into space,he was then told if he didnt write one sentence he wud write several,he still sat there as he couldnt do it,he was then sent to the reception class(2 years below) to do his work as he 'wont get nothing done by not listening' today he was told off for staring at a leak in his class ceiling,he said he couldnt help it as it was 'bugging him' so he HAD to look or he would get his 'tickly legs' and want to walk around, i feel like he is being labelled as 'the bad one' and being' got at' he even said he knows his teacher doesnt like him and says"its ALWAYS ME NO MATTER WHAT,She doesnt listen when I try explain..ITS ALWAYS ME,IM JAMIE,JUST JAMIE&I always get shouted at or sent out of class because IM JUST JAMIE. THIS breaks my heart,he isnt 'JUST JAMIE' hes my darling son&DESERVES to be treated fairly and enjoy his time at school,I just hope whatever the outcome of his assessment he gets the education&respect he damn well deserves! sorry If ive ranted&gone off path but just had to get it off my chest,id be happy for any advice/listen etc lolly x