di30 Report post Posted July 3, 2007 Hi all. Feeling sooooooooo annoyed today !!!! The school are aware that my 12 yr old son is waiting for his official dx for ASD aspergers, also very high anxiety levels, where he is able in the classroom, but cannot cope with too many in the class, he is under school action plus and IEP and attends booster lessons. The head of yr 7 is also acting as my son's mentor for now, but to be honest I get the feeling he cannot be that bothered anymore. My son stays with him during pe lessons as he cannot cope with close contact sport, then we had been informed recently my son had started skipping drama lessons which is part of an English lesson, so obviously this was a cause for concern, and we thought this was resolved by the head of yr !! Yesterday morning my son was stressing about Drama lesson again and I said to him to our knowledge the head of yr has sorted this out for him to stay with him again for this lesson too, but to cover this I had wrote a letter for my son to hand to him and he unfotunately huffed and complained 'its all getting too much now' and he will let my son off for this for this once and thats that !!! I cannot believe the attitude, if he cannot cope he shouldn't act as my son's mentor !! The school have also said they will support him all they can but not fully until he receives his official dx, they had told us this back few months, where we are annoyed about this too, so we mentioned this to the CAMHS doctor who said he was already aware the school had asked for this, and even he said the school should be willing to help and support my son with or without an official dx ! Its so wrong, especially as they know what he's like, he is vulnerable and easily led, and the way its going I will be receiving more telephone calls from them complaining he is skipping lessons again !! Any suggestions will be a great help, thank you. Di x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrs fussy Report post Posted July 3, 2007 (edited) Hi all. Feeling sooooooooo annoyed today !!!! The school have also said they will support him all they can but not fully until he receives his official dx, they had told us this back few months, where we are annoyed about this too, so we mentioned this to the CAMHS doctor who said he was already aware the school had asked for this, and even he said the school should be willing to help and support my son with or without an official dx ! Its so wrong, especially as they know what he's like, he is vulnerable and easily led, and the way its going I will be receiving more telephone calls from them complaining he is skipping lessons again !! Any suggestions will be a great help, thank you. Di x Hi ya di sorry you are having a bit of a bad time these blinkin schools just get worse dont they, as far as when he has a diagnosis what extra support are they offering when this happens i mean is a diagnosis going to change the way he is NO he has the difficulties now whats these schools problem eh!!! have they told you what extra support he will get or is it just words that will never materialise, aaaahhh they are so annoying arnt they im really annoyed for you, why do they need it official shouldnt it be their job to recognise his needs now. Keep your chin up girl Mrs F x sorry no suggesstions just my support. Edited July 3, 2007 by mrs fussy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
di30 Report post Posted July 3, 2007 Hi ya di sorry you are having a bit of a bad time these blinkin schools just get worse dont they, as far as when he has a diagnosis what extra support are they offering when this happens i mean is a diagnosis going to change the way he is NO he has the difficulties now whats these schools problem eh!!! have they told you what extra support he will get or is it just words that will never materialise, aaaahhh they are so annoying arnt they im really annoyed for you, why do they need it official shouldnt it be their job to recognise his needs now. Keep your chin up girl Mrs F x sorry no suggesstions just my support. Hi Mrs Fussy and thank you very much for your kind words of support. Yes I know what you mean, it is probably just words, and even if he does get an official dx I have a feeling this will be overlooked yet again. I know how you feel too, and like you said a dx isn't going to change them is it ? To be honest they haven't actually said what extra support they will give, but when I had spoken to SENCO about 3 weeks ago she did say they want advice from CAMHS regarding Daniel, but to me this is just another way of them dragging it out. It makes you feel so ignored doesn't it ? I'm sure they try to put it down to parenting, but then before they say anything now, I remind them I have an older son 18 who is was taking his A levels this year lol. Which reminds me when Dan was in the junior school their ED pysch was going on about, well he is your only child and you have no-one to compare him too' so i jumped in an said 'excuse me yes I do have an older child so please don't assume its down to bad parenting as my other son is doing very well indeed in all aspects' ! She didn't know what to say, just seen her face turn like a tomato, and like I said to her I am aware no 2 children are the same but I have my instincts and concerns which I am not going to ignore, and if my son needs help and support I will make sure he receives this ! In the secondary school, the ED pysh seem to be a great guy, but I pushed everything in front of him before he asked for it, although we have only see him 3 times since Dan had started the sec school in Sept 2006. Anyway, hope everything goes well for you, please keep me posted and again thank you very much for your support, much appreciated indeed. Cheers Di x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted July 3, 2007 Di <'> <'> <'> My DS has been allowed to withdraw from PE as he found it too stressful, by making it offical has certainly helped with our attendance. Perhaps you could ask for a meeting with his mentor to clarify a few things and put in place some agreement over the lessons he struggles with, its not as if you are asking for the earth. Hope the dx comes through very soon. Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted July 4, 2007 Di <'> , I agree with Clare. It would be a good idea to organise a meeting, including the mentor, SENCO and if possible the Head. Try and keep communication between you and the school open and let them see you are trying to work with them, as hard as it is . The school need to be aware that you are worried that your son is getting to the stage where his anxiety levels about school are increasing and skipping lessons is probably the result of this. I know that my son wouldn't do PE or drama either, it's pretty common for ASD children. My son used to do 1:1 maths with the Head when he should have been in those subjects! Your son obviously isn't coping at the moment and whatever support/mentoring is in place isn't working. If the school are dragging their heels and wont/can't put in support purely because he isn't diagnosed, you can always apply for an assessment of his needs (first step of applying for a statement) youself. Your son is already on the SEN register if he is on Action Plus, so getting a statement would be the next step. It sounds to me as though that is what the school are planning to do after the diagnosis. The following link is a model letter for requesting an assessment of special needs. http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm#RequestingAssessment Annie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
di30 Report post Posted July 5, 2007 Hi and thank you all for your very helpful replies. At present the 'head of yr' is acting as Dan's 'mentor', but the other day when I sent Dan in with a note for the head regarding his concerns with drama and how distressed he was before coming into school as I thought he had the right to know this and deal with it being that he is his mentor for now. Dan said he handed him the note and he just said to Dan 'its gone too far now' with an attitude !! That was upsetting to find out this, as they know his problems. Hopefully his official dx will be soon, fingers crossed, then they will have to deal with it. Thank you for the link too, will check this out, much appreciated thanks again. Luv Di xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
