Hoarding

[iwillholdon]

Hi, I'm new to this. Does anyone else have a problem with hoarding? My son 10 newly diagnosed AS will not get rid of anything or allow to be disposed of, also hoards sweet wrappers, cardboard packaging etc. House sooo untidy and every room overflowing. I dont so much mind the Lego, Mcdonalds toys, cards and other current obsessions, but he also wants to keep all his preschool toys, although have managed to send some to the loft. But just now when trying to sort out for a car boot sale has led to major distress. I said he could have the money from any of his things that he sold but that didnt help. Ended up threatening that he would get no birthday presents unless he made room in his cupboards for them -- just led to more shouting. "I need all the things" says he.

 

Is this inevitable, do you think or is there some way to tackle it? My friends say "why dont you throw things out while he's at school" but I feel too mean, as though someone raided my wardobe and threw out my stuff while I was out.

Glad of your comments.

[llisa32]

I have the same problem and know exactly what you're saying about the mess! I've learnt now to not go through a large throw out process and expect him to help/be happy about it.

 

I've bought larger storage boxes, and then asked him to help me sort out all the toys into new boxes - sort into power ranger bits/pokemon.digimon etc.

 

I keep a large black bag next to me while we're doing it 'incase we find any rubbish', and then I'm ashamed to say I operate a kinda file one/throw one routine ..obs I make sure he's not looking and I choose stuff I know for a fact he's not played with for over a year. He'll usually choose a couple of things to make way for new...and we've kinda got tidy again for a short while.

 

I've still got far too much stuff - some of it going back 4/5 years now (he's 7), but i'm hoping if we keep re-orging we'll get there eventually.

 

As for wrappers, i'll let them hang around where ever he left them for a couple of days...then I'll file into a toy drawer/cupboard incase he asks..if he hasn't mentioned them at all since the unwrapping after about 2/3 weeks I get rid of them.

 

Forgot to add 'And welcome to the forum:)

Edited August 3, 2007 by llisa32

[Mumble]

Hi and welcome to the crazy forum (ok, crazy is me, everyone else is fine )

 

Well I'm 28 and I still have my blue plastic elephant on wheels, my building blocks, my spinning tops (assorted sizes), my duplo . . .

 

I don't live at home any more but my mum's cupboards are literally bowing with the hoards of stuff I have to keep. And for me it is have, because they are my objects and they make me feel safe. I know it sounds silly, particularly as I'm however many hundreds of miles it is away from them, but I just need to know that they're there. And thankfully my mum seems to humour me in this (well she'd have lots of gaps if it wasn't for my stuff!) though she has said I'm going to have to find somewhere else to store my things when she moves. My younger sister however has recently found ebay and has been selling off my stuff. And so I've been bidding to get it back and she knows I'm very cross with her. My things are like a security blanket and I 'need' them and need to know they are safe.

 

If you have the space, can you get lots of stackable plastic tubs with lids (pound shops are good for cheap ones, sometimes supermarkets do job lots, if you need stronger ones for heavy items, DIY stores are best). Could he make labels for them so he's taking charge of the process, and then make it fun to label and categorise and store everything? If there is a proper labelled place for everything, it makes tidying much easier and he will be happier because he will be able to see exactly where he needs to go for whatever he wants, be it a wrapper or whatever (if needed, or he might enjoy it, take digital photos of the toys/wrappers/stuff and use these to label the boxes so he can quickly visually identify where whatever he needs is, even if it is just to make sure that it is safe).

[cattubb]

Charlie doesn't hoard wrappers and stuff but he remembers every single thing he has ever had even all the little free gifts off magazines, out of xmas crackers, out of Kinder eggs and ESPECIALLY McDonalds Happy Meal toys. I've had a couple of clear outs while he's been at nursery which he hasn't really noticed at the time but then a few months later he'll say'Mummy wheres my Spongebob yoyo' or whatever.

 

cattubb

[llisa32]

Interesting thread this...cos although I get to throw away the odd wrapper/empty box/years old toy I seem to know instinctively which ones not to throw away..ie...hubby will very occasionally feel the urge to tidy the huge pile up...I catch him mid throw and he has a handful of wrapper and seemingly meaningless bits of card (to him) in his hand...heading for the bin.

 

I shout stooopppp!...he looks at me like I'm mad but there are some things I know J really has to keep...we have certain drawers in his bedroom for certain 'small stuff' and we have certain boxes for can't live without stuff.

 

Like all his small stuff....for the last 3 years has been a certain size..pokemon/digimon/gamojo's etc...anything over that size from years ago he has currently relagated to the 'hardly used box', so I know just a matter of time before I can persuade him to part with them. He either really loves something, or has totally lost interest, if it's the latter the ineterest never returns.

 

I'd definately recommend those large boxes mumble mentions..also some of the stacking ones with see thru drawers..that way you can see what types of toy even if you haven't yet got round to putting a sticker on

[pearl]

Welcome to the forum <'>

 

JP is much better these days but yes we had the hoarding thing. One particular thing was slippers, as he grew out of each pair he couldnt bear to get rid of the old ones, when he moved bedrooms a few years back I found geological layers of them under his cabin bed!

 

His aunt (self dx'd AS) is a pathological hoarder. Lives in a large 4 bedroom terrace which feels tiny cos of all the stuff. Will end up with just a corridor to move around in like that bloke in Life of Grime.

 

So I'm guessing it fades with some, not with others. Thats not much help is it, sorry.

 

Mumble - how DARE your sister sell your stuff! Thats disgraceful! Bill her for getting it back!

[Bard]

" He had forty-two boxes, all carefully packed

With his name printed clearly on each...."

Yes, we have hoarding, big time.

And many, many plastic crates with lids and labels. But we are all hoarders in this house.

B has AS, OH is undx AS according to me. And me, I'm a primary school teacher.

101 uses for just about everything. can't throw things away, because you might need them.

G does hoard, but she is minimalist Japanese, and lover of microstuff. So although she has lots of things, they fit into shoeboxes.

B fits right in.

[Alyth_mum]

We had an extension built on last year and already you can not find a spare shelf/corner.

 

I hate paperwork but that seems to hoared itself.

 

DH has a shed full of bits that might be needed.

 

ES has a low-high bed that is totally chocker underneath - I keep telling him I'm going to drag the whole lot out so he can tidy it ..... I don't object to the boxes it the fact that things get shoved under there never to see the light of day again.

 

DD have the one mainly tidy room ... she still hoards but she has a home for everything.

 

YS has a bad case of being a 8yr old boy so we have lego boxes x4; giant box of wooden railway set; boxes of vechiles x2; jigsaws; castle (with people +weapons) of course.

 

I seem to be able to clear out the children's clothes but not allowed to touch DH's. I also have clothes that I haven't worn in x years (because I don't fit in them)

 

ARRGGGHHH you've just made me realise how out of control this house is.

 

I WILL tidy it properly once everyone is back in school/work after 16th August. I Promise .......as YS says 'I will be good ,I will be good, I promise.

 

Louise

Edited August 4, 2007 by Alyth_mum

[dooday24]

reece is definetly a hoarder knows if anything is missing straight away and ends up in meltdown.

and because we spend alot of time at my mothers he ends up taking bags of stuff to hers fills her whole kitchen.

me and shan hav 1 bag and her baby.

its a knightmare at times

lv

donnaxxxxxxxx

[mummy]

Yep our eldest (AS aged 14) is a hoarder.

He has a HUGE cupboard full of unopened games and toys that well meaning people have given him for his birthday/Christmas. 'But you've never even opened them!' 'Yes but they're MINE).

 

He also collects cereal boxes for no apparent reason other than he doesn't like throwing them away.

[Clare63]

Yes, Connor is the same......and very much like mummy's eldest has a huge collection of unopened toys/games !

 

Clare x x x

[soraya]

I think it is a security thing with ASD kids wanting to hang on to everything,my Nick was really upset when we changed the car, and when we got him a new bed he made a real fuss when it came to getting rid of the old bed. I was talking about moving the other day, and he said he would never ever move, and would kill us if we tried to make him!!!! He also hords everything, and i do have to have a clear out when he is at school