let down again

[soraya]

Nicks friend was supposed to be coming to stay for 2 days this week, he got so excited and planned lots to do, but tonight the friend cancelled for no reason. Nick is devestated, is in a foul mood and has run out the house. I wish these people could see what i have to deal with when Nick gets let down, he is Nicks only friend so its not as if we can ask someone else, i am soooo angry :angry:

[oxgirl]

Aw, poor lad, that's so disheartening for him and you are left to pick up the pieces. Hope you can reschedule with the friend soon. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[witsend]

This sort of thing has happened to us many times, I'm sure people don't (can't!) realise how awful the fallout is but that doesn't stop you feeling murderous . Just know how you feel - <'>

Luv Witsend.

[hev]

yes the fallout is horrendous,i do hope nick is back and has calmed down <'> <'>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

That's so difficult to deal with. If this lad had a good reason then that's a different story - at least you could reason with Nick. Is there something that you'd know he'd like to do, which would go some way to making up for his disappointment?

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

we soo have this t shirt too

it is well worn if u get my drift

i do hope life is a bit better for you all

xx

[soraya]

Thanks everyone for your replies, Nick came back at 10.30pm after worrying us all to bits. He wont do or go anywhere with me as it is not cool to be seen with your Mum at 14, he just wants to go out with a mate, the trouble is he hasent got any, he treats them so badly that now the kids are older and can choose what to do they dont include Nick!!! It is heartbreaking but i have tried to explain to Nick if you treat pleaple beter they will like you, but he cant see it!!

He treats his friends the way he treats me and to be quite honest at the moment i wouldnt be his friend if i had a choice!! I know that sounds bad and i do love him but i am so very tired of trying to cope with his moods all the time.

He had a big arrgument with his brother when he got in last night, my sons girlfriend is 9 days overdue with their baby, and was trying to get too sleep, Phil asked Nick very nicely to turn the tv down and Nick exploded, saying he hates phil, and his girlfriend and is going to stab her in the stomach and kill the baby. This is all too much for a very stressed expectant father and he hits Nick, who then says everyone hates him and he wants to kill himself!! This was the fallout from one child cancelling an arangement. Husband has gone away to work for the week, Help!!!! (not that he is much good anyway!!) :lol:

[Bard]

He just wants to go out with a mate, the trouble is he hasent got any, he treats them so badly that now the kids are older and can choose what to do they dont include Nick!!! It is heartbreaking but i have tried to explain to Nick if you treat pleaple beter they will like you, but he cant see it!!

He treats his friends the way he treats me and to be quite honest at the moment i wouldnt be his friend if i had a choice!! I know that sounds bad and i do love him but i am so very tired of trying to cope with his moods all the time.

 

At 12, this is something that my son has noticed this summer. We keep bumping into groups of children from his school, hanging out together in different places. They are polite and friendly to him, but they don't want his company. As you said, now they can choose who to be with and what to do they see no reason to try and include someone who can be challenging, difficult and single-minded about what he wants to do.

Not when there are easier, comfortable, other friends who know how to maintain relationships and compromise. Why go looking for trouble? Many of their parents feel the same.

At the moment, it's not much of an issue, he's noticed but not felt rejected. Maybe he will feel excluded and upset about being left out, or maybe he'll continue preferring to be alone or with me, I can't begin to predict the future.

I will always love B, but sometimes he's hard to like, especially when you have other people in your family who are equally deserving of consideration and love.

Phil must be at the end of his tether too, and waiting for a baby is only the beginning of the stress. Do they both live with you, and will they do so after the baby is born? That's going to be tricky to manage, <'>

Good Luck Grandma! I hope your week settles down, and Nick finds something to displace his anger for a while.

[oxgirl]

Soraya and Bard, I know exactly how you feel, we're in the same position as well. My lad is nearly 14 and is desperately lonely, no friends at all, and yet at the same time hasn't a clue how to act with other kids or how to 'be' or what to say so there's no chance of things changing for us anytime soon.

Jay can be very hard to be around sometimes and sometimes isn't great company, but he just doesn't understand that he needs to moderate his behaviour if he wants people to like him and that's a really hard lesson to teach to kids like ours really, maybe their biggest challenge.

 

We've been fairly busy this hols, have been to lots of activities etc., but he goes to the place, does the activity and comes home and hasn't shared a word with a single child, it's like he's been around other kids but has been totally oblivious to them. With him, he wants and expects other children to approach him and make an effort to be nice to him but he doesn't see the need to do the same, so we're well and truly stuck. Ho hum. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[pearl]

Yep, can identify with all your posts. JP's only friend is E, the HFA young man I've posted about, but because he is HFA, lovely as he is, its not the kind of friendship I was hoping for. I've always hoped JP would find an NT soulmate - someone with similar interests who he could go out with unaccompanied. It has never happened yet.

 

Last summer hols he said, I think I keep myself to myself too much - he'd gone the whole summer with just us for company & its the 1st time he'd expressed concern.

 

Very glad he's out at work now & fully occupied. Who knows who he'll meet there?

[soraya]

Hi Bard, no Phil and his girlfriend dont live with me, i could not cope with nick and a baby!!. I know what you mean when you say you want to give your attention to other deserving family members, phil really needs me at the moment and nick seems to be so jelous, just like a toddler!!!, well he is just going to have to cope as i really want to spend time with my granddaughter when she arrives. I notice Bard that you live in Sussex, maybe we could get our boys together? (or would that be looking for trouble) :lol:

[Bard]

I notice Bard that you live in Sussex, maybe we could get our boys together? (or would that be looking for trouble) :lol:

 

Trust me, I doubt that the South Coast would withstand the meltdown!

For a start, B thinks that fishing is barbaric and evil. We had to come home from Shoreham early when he saw people hauling fish out of the water with hook and line. It was either that or he'd have shoved them all into the harbour...or been thrown in himself.