Girls with Aspergers

[maisies_mummy]

I am new on here so Firstly Hi to everyone

 

Is it ok if I bombard you with questions lol? Aspergers is new to us so we are learning and trying to cope lol.

 

My daughter is going to have tests for Aspergers, I thought she had ODD but am being told she has more traits of aspergers which has come as a bit of a shock.

 

Maisie is a lovely girl when she is nice, ever so funny has a great imagination and a little on the eccentric side lol.

 

But the other side to maisie is horrible she has rages is very rigid with ideas swears and hits out in temper.

 

She is rarely dry through the day, will talk to anyone and tends to be overly friendly to strangers.

 

So going to start my questions now lol.

 

Did your child have bowel problems?

 

Did she walk late (maisie was 16 months)

 

What is she into? Maisie seems to like fantasy and nature knows more about plants and animals than me! Cinderella last year. I wouldn't say she collects things but shows a bit more interest than other kids.

 

Can she keep good eye contact?? Maisie can.

 

Does she do random shrieks?

 

How old when they toilet trained?

 

Do they totally shut off when watching tv? and stand inches from it watching it?

 

What made you ask for help? or be assessed? Mine was maisies temper tantrums that can last for hours!

 

The reason I am asking about girls and not boys is because on the net it said girls seem to cope better than boys socially and do often have good imagination and "obsessions" in fantasy things.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

i have an as daughter

she makes eye contact

was age and stage on everything

but had the vilest of tempers

mine competely zones out, to the point they wanted to test her for epilepsy

hope this helps

x

[Nic m]

Hello Maisies Mummy,

Your daughter sounds very like mine.

She has chronic constipation which leads to soiling this is made worse by certain foods and stress. She walked early (not quite ten months) but would only walk in front of me and her dad for ages.She loves fantasy and dressing up.(she has moved on from princesses now though and prefers computer games and writing. She has regular new obsessions and we have had some stralge collections in our house including stones! Shehas very direct stary eye contact, dull eye contact and total avoidance depending on how she is feeling. No shrieks! but plenty of screams. Toilet training hard to answer because this was round the same time i noticed how difficult it was with her bowels. A hurricane could go off when she is watching telly and the volume is sooo loud! She used to stand very close to it but i nagged enough and it got through ...Eventually.My daughters distress was the main reason for getting assessed but i can understand the temper tantrums and still shudder at the memory! I knew she had aspergers way before she was diagnosed because she was very similar to her cousin who has aspergers and is 16 now(boy) Despite diagnosis old school did not accept diagnosis because of how well she presented to them but she has not soiled since starting at her new school so it shows the pressure she was under.

My daughters language when she is off on one would put a builder to shame and if i was half the things she says, i would have led a very colourful life!

She is also very accident prone partly down to being in another world half the time and partly down to her loose joints and stressful tiredness.

But and this is the big one, i wouldn't have her any other way. She is honest, loving, kind, generous, beautiful, intelligent beyond words and the most wonderful fun and makes far more sense than most 'normal' people i know.

Good luck and welcome to this forum, i think it is a great resource for help and support.

Best Wishes

Nicola

[jo4themo]

Hi Maisies mum

Welcome to the group - I am quite new here as well as I have only been a member for a month.

Niamh didn't walk unaided until 3 years (she bottom-shuffled at 11 months and could walk holding onto furniture at 2 years). She wasn't dry during the day until she was 5 and a half and was still in nappies at night until she was 6 and a half. Then we went through a bad spell of nearly a year where she wet the bed at least 3 times a week. Now at almost 9 she hasn't wet the bed in 10 months - I think her bed-wetting after she had been dry at night was due to anxiety at going to school(she now goes full time to a special school).

Her main interest is books (and has been since she was 6 months old!) she also loves anything to so with dinosuars and insects and knows more than me on both those subjects! She also loves jokes and can rememeber loads of them - sometimes all I have to do is say something and she will say a joke to do with it.

When watching TV she is glued to it and if you want her attention you have to call her about 3 times - she will get very close to it some of the time, but with a younger sister who complains loudly if she cannot see the TV this doesn't happen that often now.

Niamh went through a bad patch at about 4-6 years when she could be quite violent towards me and would hit, pinch throw things etc. She was like this at school as well, but worse. Now she goes to a brilliant school her behaviour has improved.

She hand-flaps and makes a noise (not quite shrieking) when excited and also head-rolls occasionally and she used to spin around on her bottom a lot when younger.

She does make eye-contact although not so much with people outside her immediate family. Her voice is quite high-pitched and can be almost sing-song, especially when she is excited or reading something out loud.

I agree with nic though, as Niamh is Niamh and we wouldn't have her any other way as she is loving, clever and fantastic.

Take care

Emma

[maisies_mummy]

wow Nicola you sum life in our house up to a T lol.

 

Maisie is one of the most honest little girls I know, she is loving too. And up until last year (before the tantrums got too bad) she was my little princess. She dressed like one, spoke like one and dreamed of castles and princes lol. All such fun and so cute.

 

Maisie only knows a few swear words at the moment but if anyone else was to say them she will give them a telling off but they flow out of her mouth soooo easily in temper lol. She also threatens and tries to smash windows. I am really upset that 3 months ago I had no problem leaving her in the room with our baby but now when she gets into a rage she throws things and has had a few near misses and one hit!

 

Maisie finds it so hard to understand that kids are being horrible too. She knows if they are spiteful but not if they run away from her or ignore her, it upsets me sooo much. maisie will insist they are her best friends still.

 

Maisie is also holding it together at school, she has just started BIG school today lol and was star of the day

 

I doubt the teachers will agree either with the diagnosis because they see a very different maisie to us. Maisie didn't have the MMR because she had bowel problems at the time, so know that has not done any damage in this case. Has the temper tantrums calmed down for you now?? How did you get things to change?

 

Maisie is just turning 5 and still wetting most days....her bowels seem better but not great and not many of those accidents now.

 

I told the phycologist that we hadn't had any collections of stuff but you saying stones reminds me that we did have snails lol.

 

Her memory is brilliant but now after talks with her psychologist I am realizing that she does have many quirks that most other children don't. Bless her she has been doing gymnastic classes since she was 18 months and still cant do a star jump or hop she says its because she has stupid clown feet lol.

 

I love maisie to bits, and am hoping that once we can get some sort of control over the tantrums we will be in a happier place.

 

Sorry one more question can you go shopping?? That is the worse thing I can do. Maisie seems to really kick off and makes big scenes in the shops has thrown their displays and bitten, kicked and sworn at me in public so many times I cant take her any more.

[jb1964]

Hi Maisies mum,

 

Welcome to the forum - we're still on a learning curve ourselves. I've written our experiences to the questions you've answered plus others that I can think of.

 

My daughters 14 and only diagnosed ASD at 12yrs - referred only because the Paed thought she had anorexia (even though she saw him every 3 or 6 months from 6mths until 11yrs for chronic constipation and failure to thrive). She is still prescribed sodium picosulphate daily.

 

From birth, screamed and cried for hours and hours daily and slept 6hrs out of 24 from birth - told it was colic, then gastric reflux (prescribed cissapride) and various other things, including milk intolerant (lactose) and put on wysoy until nearly 5yrs old. Had various tests over the years for different things, coeliac, hirschprungs, cystic fibrosis.

 

Walked and crawled exactly the same day at around 15mths. Talked early, became obsessive with disney films, animals and dinosaurs from around 2yrs (knew every name of the book of dinosaurs we had and loved to watch juriassic park over and over again). Since then moved her obsessions onto various other things, pokemon & digimon, pc and games consoles etc - through to simpsons and futurama on tv and japanese anime.

 

Tantrums and rages seemed to be different from the terrible two stage that everyone talks about - they would last for hours, and no bribary or coaxing would help, this moved on as she got older to hurting both herself and me, including head banging, pulling hair and scramming or digging her nails in. Mainly these upsets would happen from frustrations and not from the word 'no' or 'you can't have x or y', like a toddler tantrum.

 

Once she hit around 3yrs old and could ask questions accurately, the questioning of why about everything including the universe took over, her appetite for knowledge and using her brain seemed non-stop, she could never relax, never felt hungry or thirsty, and found it impossible to do nothing or sit still for longer than 5mins. She would only fall asleep when she was exhausted - it was almost as though when the batteries were took out she'd fall asleep.

 

Toilet trained just in time for school (she was a young one - only just turned 4) - even though she would be ok in the house for a little while before that - at nursery or out she would say she didn't want to go - even now she doesn't go in school or when out and about (which is extremely rare). Although when the bouts of very bad constipation came we had to keep her from school.

 

Eating and limited food intake (didn't certain textures and tastes, i.e. mashed potatoes, ice-cream, chips etc and anything wet - i.e beans/sauce) - up until around 11yrs only finger foods (dry) and water/milk to drink. Still won't eat in school now and find it difficult to eat out - although she will - but thinks everyone is watching her. Struggles with a knife and fork.

 

Clothes a problem with fabrics, seams in socks and underwear, only wore elasticated and comfy clothes - shoes a complete nightmare - and general shopping a complete no-no.

 

Couldn't ride a bike, only learnt to swim 2 yrs ago, and generally hated anything outdoors, or physical. Had talipes when she was born, and wore corrective strapping until she was around 9mths - has very very shallow narrow feet and she finds walking generally exhausting, walking looks as though it is a real effort and she picks her feel up rather like a puppet it just doesn't look comfortable to her.

 

Under the audiologist until she was around 7 - they said that if it wasn't for the fact that I knew she could hear they thought she had serious hearing problems - suffered non stop ear infections until around 8yrs. Prescribed dimotane when she was around 2 until one day the audiologist saw her and told me she thought she was having an adverse reaction to it (it was making her hypo) - she was then put onto inhalers for asthma.

 

Sounds and noises - she would seem oblivious to me calling her name yet if I whisper something while she's watching something it will really annoy her. She finds certain noises unbearable, humming, buzzing, whispering noises. Doesn't like loud noisy places with lots of people, ie. discos or anywhere busy like shopping centres, holiday parks etc.

 

She missed loads of school through tummy pain, sickness and general illnesses due to a low immune system. At school she was extremely quiet and the teachers always told me if only they had a classroom like her their job would be easy - because she just got on with her work, they said she was so lovely and old fashioned! Their only criticisms were that she couldn't hold a pencil correctly, or use a scissors, was a perfectionist and got upset about things going wrong, didn't like change and found it difficult to grasp new concepts. Although by about 7yrs she was referred to a psychologist due to her anxieties with fans, noises, electrical items and plants growing in the garden (ie. grass/kidney bean plants etc).

 

Got invited to parties when she was younger - mainly because there were only a small group of girls - but as she progressed through school the invites dwindled off - and she mainly talked to the boys in the class because of similar interest i.e. pokemon etc. Had one friend through primary school who we made a real effort with and took everywhere with us but unfortunately as she got older she found our daughter not 'cool' to hang out with and since then (around 10yrs) she's had no friends at all.

 

Since hitting comp. our problems really became evident which was when she had a throat/swallowing problem that she got referred to CAHMS for. Missed all of year 7 and half of year 8 - only really getting back on track this past year. During CAHMS they said that had limited understanding and referred to a specialist SALT (still waiting now after nearly 2 yrs), even though she had various OCD traits and massive emotional mood swings, verging on severe depression - these were all normal within the ASD umbrella.

 

Eye contact - I would have to say this has probably got worse as she has got older - she has explained that she doesn't like people looking at her.

 

Routine and rules are a must, and changes or choices have to be kept to a minimum (if possible!!!). She speaks very articulately (not sure if I spelt that correctly!) doesn't use slang, like ta-ra or hiya and uses very little body language. Finds it difficult to read expressions and to explain her emotions and feelings - very often doesn't know why she feels like she does, and also very naive to the motives of others.

 

When she is anxious or stressed she will pace like a lion in a cage - she flicks her fingers by her ears and used to until a year ago bite her finger joints - you can normally tell when things are hotting up for her because she will start repeating herself and questions and get very anxious over little things.

 

When they received the questionnaire back from primary school they couldn't believe how a school could complete it the way they had and not referred her for ASD as it was so obvious - although at the parents evenings any concerns we had would be white-washed over - yet there it was in black and white on the forms they received showing their concerns and notes - although I must say even though we have always thought there was something different we weren't aware of ASD's - I have to hold my hands up and admit that my knowledge of the word autism was Rainman.

 

Even though she was under the Paed. - he saw her every 3 to 6 mths from 6mths old til she was 11 - he only once mentioned something to do with her seeming like she was in her own world when she was tiny - but then at the next appt. he said she seemed better - but never elaborated - although to be honest I'm sure by the time she got to around 3 he had switched off to thinking we were hypochondriac, overprotective, parents and we then stopped discussing any new habits or changes in her because we were made to feel we were bad parents.

 

Hope you get somewhere soon with your assessments.

 

Take care,

Jb

[Clare63]

Hi Maisie Mummy, welcome to the forum, I hope, like me, you find this forum to be an enormous support, and a valuable source of useful information and advice. Whilst my aspergers child is male I can't believe the comparison to jb1964's daughter they could have been separated at birth !

Hope you get the answers you are looking for.

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[Nic m]

Hello Maisiesmum,

 

The temper tentrums have become less frequent and the really aggressive behaviour has stopped.She still shouts refuses to do things stomps about and swears either under her breath, at the top of her voice or if she is quietly seething, by letter or e-mail! What a joy. I dont know that i have any magic answers, like all of us on here trial and error and asking others. What i did was change her diet (she is allergic to sodium bezoate which is a preservative found in many foods and medicines) this was a big improvement. I stopped working so her day was shortened (no more after school care) so less stress. Medicine for constipation was changed and has now stopped yippee! We also saw a speech and language therapist who listened to us both and it made a difference, she gave us some advice on how to calm down, made me think about triggers for the blow outs and did not judge me. (This is not the norm with workers i have found but she really restored my faith only to have it knocked by the next worker.)

Having the diagnosis officially helped all of my family and changes have slowly been made so stress has been greatly reduced. The one thing i would say is have a belief in yourself and what you know it is a struggle and in between fighting the system you will still have to come to terms with all of this.Keep records of everything.

SHOPPING help ma boab! this was a nightmare! I still avoid bringing Hayley with me to go food shopping, we dedicate a day to going for some things for her and it is a shop, a rest a shop then home.We go shoe shopping with heavy hearts but we love the hot chocolate and cake afterwards. Magazines juice or a toy helps.

Good luck your maisie sounds like a wee bright spark

Nicola

[badonkadonk]

Hiya Maisies Mum,

 

I am unfortunately no longer a child (booo) and I wasn't diagnosed Aspergers until I was 22 (24 now) but from my own memories and chatting extensively to my parents/grandparents over the years I know quite a bit about my differences in childhood.

 

I was a very early starter, walking and reading particularly early. I talked early but I didn't actually say proper words, in fact I had my own language that my mum became expert in. I have a particular memory of when I was around four, every evening I would sit in my dad's armchair and read the newspaper front to back. I had no real understanding of what I was reading but I could read and recount the story (if that makes any sense). I would sit there and read it and then sit in the windowsill with my face virtually pressed against the glass until my dad came home from work. Then he would have to sit in his armchair and I would perch on his lap and tell him all about my day. If he tried to look at my brother and sister or talk to my mum I would literally grab his face and turn it back round to me and carry on telling him my adventures. Trouble is I did this at 100mph and didn't talk in sentences (that make sense?) I only ever drew breath when I was about to pass out

 

Reading wise I was known as Matilda as I had a big thirst for books, mainly fiction books (a great whopping adventure story was the best) and I read the BFG aged 5. I used to read out loud as it never occurred to me to 'read in my head' and it wasn't until my mum introduced me to this strange new way of reading that she finally got some peace and quiet!!

 

I didn't have the MMR either. I was however a very sickly baby, I was ill all the time and had Measles, German Measles, Mumps, Laryngitis, Chicken Pox (twice no less) and viral Meningitis just to name a few. I had tonselitis (forgive the spelling) every month from age 3-5 when they finally got round to removing them. Even now I am still prone to severe sore throats. I wasn't just ill as a baby though, it seems I have a bit of a rubbish immune system. My mum is a primary school teacher and I used to go in to help out and what not whenever my school had a teacher training day and I didn't want to stay with my grandparents like my brother and sister. The trouble with that is that I always used to get ill over the next few days. The same thing happens if I fly anywhere or go on long train journeys, I always get flu like symptoms a few days after either trip. Any bug that is going around I will get and sometimes I'll get double dosings just for good measure. I've also had some weird illnesses over the years, mostly unexplainable viruses and strange skin reactions. I even managed to contract a rare African skin bug once which made horrible lumpy scabs pop up all over my arms and chest.

 

Social skills wise I perhaps fell into the over friendly category, I would talk to anyone and I would talk to each person exactly the same as anyone else. I.e. the woman in the bus stop got talked to just like my dad did, it seems that I didn't recognise the distinction between the two. Even now I struggle to get the tone right with people, particularly when applying for job interviews or meeting new people. Whereas most Aspies seem to be very formal and polite I struggle with not being formal and 'stiff upper lip' enough.

 

Routines wise when I was little, god forbid if my mum didn't have my food ready at exactly the same time each day. Apparently I was like an alarm clock, I would sit by my high chair a few minutes before food was due and kick off big time if I wasn't sat in the chair at exactly such and such time (despite not being old enough to be able to tell the time or be aware of what time of day it was). I also had and still have food fads and wouldn't eat solids for ages. When I did get around to eating solids the different foods on my plate couldn't touch each other (mucho fun for my mum in restaurants) and woe betide anyone who put gravy on my dinner! I still can't deal with gravy, not because I don't like it but because it's messy and makes all my food into one lumpy mess. I can have my food touching now but I still pretty much eat my meal by food group. I always leave my meat till last and this was one thing me and Neil (my boyfriend and fellow Aspie) found particularly amusing when we first got together. We would have moments in restaurants when we looked at each other and burst out laughing because we had each eaten our veg first and were left with nothing but the meat, with both of us believing that we wouldn't meet anyone else who did this kind of thing He's also the only other person I know who eats frozen peas and chips!

 

I have always struggled with showering, I love love love being in the water but I find the whole process quite painful if I know I have to carry on getting ready to go out straight after. In fact I really struggle getting ready to go out, I don't know why. It's always been the same though, I had some quite major meltdowns at high school if I had washed my hair and styled it the night before, got up in the morning and it was sticking out or didn't sit just right. I can't explain it but if it wasn't perfect I sometimes wasn't even able to go to school, sometimes not even out of my room. Even now I have trouble with my hair and often feel it is too greasy for me to go out with even though everyone else is saying it looks fine and doesn't feel greasy.

 

Attitude wise....it's the one aspect of my self that I hate and would change if I could. I have this unnatural ability to deliver the ultimate final blow in arguments. I can say things in such a way as to cause maximum impact and upset. I don't realise I'm doing this and have tried and tried over the years to stop myself from saying things but it's like a whole other person takes over. Part of the problem is that I've always been able to think really quickly and so I'm very annoying in arguments because I've always got an answer and can pick faults quicker than others. Combine that with my way with words and I'm a fairly terrifying prospect. This isn't big headedness by the way, I would take it away in an instance. I have the dirtiest of dirty looks and could be so vile when I was younger. I had a fairly traumatic few years from Year 6 until I went to college to do my A Levels. High School was particularly bad as I struggled with making friends, getting in with the wrong group, being under-stimulated at school and finding all the work too easy. I was naive and gullable and prone to getting bullied both inside and outside of school and it was as if I had vulnerable tattooed to my head at times.

 

However, through the years because I've experienced so much I've learnt far more. For an Aspie (no disrespect to other Aspies on here) I am quite street savvy and can handle myself quite well in situations. I don't deal with BS at all and stick up for myself whenever I need to. I'm not confrontational, in fact I hate fighting and negativity because of what happened when I was younger, but vary rarely will anyone get to take me 'for a ride' anymore. I know now how to change some of the way I interact with others in order to get a better response out of people, I've realised the value of smiling and forcing myself to make eye contact even though I loathe doing either. It's not all doom and gloom is what I'm trying to say and I think the most important thing to remember with your AS/ASD kids is that they are children first and foremost. Just because they can't/don't like doing something as a child doesn't mean that it will be like this forever. I was awful with food when I was younger and now I'm getting there, in fact I have quite a good relationship with food at the moment. I still have food fads and have to plan my meals around whatever I'm obsessed with currently but because I know about my obsessions I make it work.

 

Anyway, there are lots more examples I could give but I've rambled on enough!

 

Emily

xxx

 

P.S. in terms of food intolerances....anything citric used to make me hyper as a child, orange squash was lethal. Now it gives me a bad tummy and nasty headaches. Same goes for Aspartame/Monosodium Glutamate (sorry for the spelling!).

[peppa]

Hi Maisies mum,

wow you could have been talking about my daughter!

Jessica is also the most sweetest, inteligent, eccentric little girl, she talked remarkably early (7 months) and has never stopped since, however there are some unusual aspects to her language, and investigations into an expresive language disorder are now undergoing.

 

She walked at 15 months but remained clumsy on her feet for a good while after, ataxia was mentioned and we later learned she has low muscle tone in her legs, now at 4 she is still slightly clumsy.

 

Rages were always way more than the average temper tantrum, lasting hours and including head butting any surface, including pavements! Biting herself and some rather choice language including lots of jargon.

 

Shopping is a huge no no, when its unavoidable we need to give her a very clear plan of whats going to happen, and even the slightest change can cause major distress, we do manage to eat out with her, but again its always at the same places and whoah betide if anyone is sat at "her" table, which can prove difficult! We have found a visual schedule is invaluable in these situations.

 

Jessica is extremely over friendly, she will approach and talk to anybody and would be quite happy to take the hand and walk away with anybody, which is a huge worry. She will talk to all people in the same way, not able to adapt to a authority figure or small child.

 

Toilet training was a struggle, we began at 2 1/2, and accidents were regular for a good 6months afterwards, then dwindled over the next 6months and are rare now. However she rarely takes herself off to the toilet or tells us when she needs to go.

She suffers with an impacted bowel, and takes movicol regularly, she has been known to go a fortnight without a motion!

 

Jessica loves handbags! she carries three on her arm at all times, even when eating, toileting etc, she has a huge collection.

She has recently discovered dressing up and her new obsession is princesses and anyhting princess related, she looks amazing in her snow white dress!

 

Eye contact was very poor until she reached 3, where it gradually improved and is now quite good, however she finds it difficult to look at people when being asked a direct question.

 

She loves to spin, but never gets dizzy, she hand flaps regularly, she sings and dances almost constantly. She only has to hear a song once and she knows all the words and is always in tune!

 

She shrieks and screams when over excited and finds it extremely difficult to calm down.

 

She loves peppa pig and will completley tune out when its on tv, and it can be extremely difficult to get through to her.

 

The things that made me ask for help initially were the manic behaviour and the fact i wasn't able to get through to her after exhausting all discipline techniques, the lack of eye contact and the fact she wasn't able to recognise emotion, facial expression, tone of voice etc.

 

Jessica has an amazing ability to spot the tinest of objects in the distance, she sees the beauty in most things and is always telling us how beautiful and lovely everything is. She giggles a lot which is most infectious and is a pleasure to be around at most times, yes at some times it can be extremley hard work and she is forever an unfinished puzzle as we are learning about her world, but it is an amazingly rewarding journey and i wouldn't want her any other way.

 

I hope this helps you in some way, even if its just to realise you are not alone, your daughter sounds like a sweetie, someone is always here to help answer any questions you have, i've found this place an enormous help. This is my first opportunity i've had to get back on here in a while and i've really missed it!

Loadsa luv and welcome to the forumX

[Confusedmum]

Hi Maiseys Mummy

 

My 5 year old little girl has Aspergers, she has only recently started her assessments for AS, and although she is not offically diagnosed, our Psychologist has said that my daughter most likley has AS.

 

My daughter also started school last week and upto now we have had a few problems but her school have been quite supportive. im so glad you have started this thread, as you said in your opening post there is very little info online ect just for AS girls.

 

My DD hasnt had any problems with her bowles, but is lactose intolrant but is slowly outgrowing this, Thank GOD, lol

 

She walked at 13 mths, but like other people have said she was very clumbsy and still is to be honest.

 

Her current interests is Disney princess, and anything Girly and pink, she refusses point blank to wear trousers, and is furius that her school uniform is BLUE , she also loves anything Medical and is obsessed with being a doctor when she grows up !!

 

Her eye contact is also not to bad with us, but it can be abit hit and miss if she is under any stress.

 

As regards to shreiking she to also does this if you are trying to get her to do something that she doesnt want to, But to be honest this is the only time that she shows any type of temper so to speak, but once we have explained why she has to do certain things, she very quickly get the hang of it. This is the main problem we are currently having at school at the moment as she wont sit at carpet time and gets extremely stressed/upset, if she has to wait for things.

 

We didnt have to many problems with toilet training, we started at 2.5 and she mastered it during the day at around 3. And we has just managed to get her out of her bedtime nappies over the summer hols.

 

She also zones out while watching TV and i literally have to pull her away from it to get her to listen to me.

 

The reason why she was refered for an assement was because she has very poor social skills with her peers (but plays brilliantly with her 2 year old sister). And has no interest in making friends, But she is perfectly happy to play alone.

 

Her memory is also fantastic and she remembers everything in great detail, she is also extremley clever, she reads aswell as my 8 year old nephew and can counts in tens of thousands . But will only do so if she feels like it !! she is so subborn (just like me lol).

 

She also Hates shopping, and will only tag along if she absolutley has to.

 

But just to echo what others have said i wouldnt change her one little bit, as its what makes her who she is, an extremley loving, cute, funny, quirky little angel .

[maisies_mummy]

this is all so interesting reading your posts, and that you are living the same lives as us lol.

 

Maisie was always ill as a baby too and even now, her nursery attendance was around 80% she has also had lots of throat infections, scarlet fever and weird asthma (sp) attacks. She is for ever at the doctors with something or other, she eats all her veg and loads of fruit too unlike my eldest who is rarely ill. Maisie would never take medicine either and if I did manage to get it down her by brutal force she would make herself sick also impossible to disguise it in food or drink this ended up with her in A&E many times to have suppositories to bring her temperature down she was like that from a baby.

 

Maisie sings and dances, show no embarrassment to anything even if she wets herself.....would be quite happy to still be in nappies. Only the last few months I have noticed anxiety about going out, even to her own birthday party on sunday was a struggle lol. She will usually kick up a fuss about something else to delay the process. If I put her in the bath (which is daily because she wets) she would play for hours not seeming to worry if the waters gone cold but will say she is cold afterwards and refuse to get dressed.

 

Maisie has so far been an angel at school coping very well. I hope it stays like that. But I know she would go off with strangers, we lost her at lego land for 45 minutes and she was not the slightest bit worried even though I was crying she kept reassuring me she had queued up on a ride for her age and not pushed in! Not quite grasping why I would be worried.

 

My problem is that I have a baby too so maisie tends to use this to her advantage and I have lost count of the amount of times I have left the baby in tesco or Next to chase maisie through a precincts. And no matter how many times I tell her of the dangers I am yet she knows never to cross a road!!

 

Food is not a big problem as long is in order, it throws her in a spin of we have sunday dinner at 2 pm she wont eat it she has to have a sandwich then have the dinner later but she can eat breakfast at 10 am and want lunch by 10.30 and wont settle for a snack so not sure she is getting that she is hungry or knows that lunch comes after breakfast etc if she missed breakfast she would have to have cereal and a sandwich for her lunch. I don't think the food causes her tantrums as she can be like it even before breakfast. She is not hyperactive in any way only if she is over excited she doesn't get that it is time to calm down, but quite lazy really.

 

Dinosaurs are becoming very popular in our house too lol.....wonder why they seem to go through the same things?? My friend said her little girl had problems recognizing where animals should live ie in the home, farm or zoo, Had never thought about it so asked maisie where does a rabbit live (we had one at the time so expected her to say in a hutch lol) in a warren she said, ok what about a giraffe? in Africa! (looking at me as if I am stupid) a lion in the jungle in Africa. she knew every one I asked lol.

 

I cant say she is a perfectionist but gets frustrated about not being in total character if in dressing up. She so badly want the Cinderella apron so the birds can tie it up for her lol.

 

I find it strange that she can keep it together at school and be so rigid at home, thats why I thought it was a control thing and just bad behavior for so long. Oh she cant do a quiet voice either, when I put her to bed she shares a room with the baby and cant manage to grasp being quiet so to not wake the baby. She can whisper though in your ear, but tends to whisper gibberish lol. and for someone who is an expert on ignoring me she will repeat herself 20 million times if I don't answer her lol. Parents tend to like maisie because she is a funny little thing but not had any invites from other children to go to their houses.

[Nic m]

Maisiesmum,

can i just say thank-you.

reading through these posts has had me chuckling and remembering all those times with rose coloured glasses on! Your girls sound just like my Hayley, she still eats her food seperately badonkadonk and i find this quite endearing.

Thank you

Nicola

[darky]

Hi Maisies mummy, I have an 8yr with PDD-NOS, ADHD and Dyspraxia. Phew where to start!! My daughter is the youngest of 3, I have 2 boys as well. She was quite a change to the boys but I put most of that down to her "being a girl" as I was told they are much harder than boys!

 

She walked about 18m, before that she just seemed insatiable. Always hungry, always on the look for "trouble" ram raiding stair gates, climbing out her cot, she never seemed to learn like my boys did, like grabbing a hot cup of tea is going to hurt!

 

Potty training she was good, but the consequences were bad! Thats when she started smearing her poo and eating it, and urinating in toy boxes and destroying everything.

 

I would put a nappy on her tied backwards with a full sleepsuit on backwards and she would still greet me in the mornings naked and covered in poo, as well as the bedding walls and toys to.

 

She never stopped, always on the go, never watched tv, never "played" with anything and I could not hold a conversation with her. She hated being restrained in the car or a buggy and would scream all the time we were out.

 

In playgroup she had very little focus and concentration for anything. She had weird fears, flies bugs, a picture in the yellow pages and hated sudden loud noises.

 

To this day she is hyperactive, has fears, self harms, but can charm the birds out of the trees. She is very tactile and loves cuddles and attention from anyone including strangers. A smile is all it takes to be "her best friend" Her imagination I describe as immature. She seems to be doing the role play expected more of a preschooler and still loves things like pepper pig and dora the explorer. She has just started showing a real interest in dollys in a more appropiate ways like dressing them up. Up til now she has pulled arms and legs off and used the clothes for anything other than what they are supposed to be used for like putting stones or conkers in (which she loves collecting) She is sociable on her terms, and the play she likes on her terms. She does not value friendship, and can not think of the consequences of her behaviour on others, she is fickle.

 

She was diagnosed when she was 5 and is now treated for the ADHD side of things which has brought her on so much. Shes happy, shes learning, and I love her wonderful ways, my girl is a princess with an angels face. She is very girly and loves pink and dressing up. I would not have her any other way!

 

Incidently, when she was 8m old she had double pnuemonia and was seriously ill. She needed so much oxygen and was so ill they thought she had something serious and had loads of tests for cystic fibrosis, reflux, they thought she had a weird reaction to the HIB jab and tested her for that, and one other thing to do with the hairs on her lungs growing the wrong way so she had a bronchoscopy. My son (almost 11 Aspergers) was always ill with Asthma and chest infections in and out of hospital for 6yrs so they thought maybe the pair of them had something genetic. They were both put on maintenance doses of antibiotics for a year, and Rhiannon went on a dairy free diet. Both children were considered "healthy" and they never found anything wrong with their health other than Rhiannon having a periodic drop in her blood nuetrophills.

 

I find out all these years later it could have been because of both of their significant joint hypermobility!

[maisies_mummy]

Hi Darky, thankyou for sharing your storey with us, your daughter looks adorable, snow white??? lol Maisie would kill for that headband with the bow lol.

 

Things must be tough for you and it is great how you all say your girls are your angels.......I spent about six months loving maisie and hating her at the same time I feel really awful about that because i was being told by everyone (family and friends mainly) that she was just plain naughty and needs to know who the boss is! Easier said than done with a child that thinks it is only her world lol.

 

I only found this site a few days ago and it is such a relief! You have all been so lovely and made me realise so much more. Our daughters are a little different but that makes them so special too. Mind you I wasn't saying that earlier when I had to chase her out of school and 1/4 mile towards the highstreet with baby in buggy lol. How can a little girl who has a funny run get so far and so fast??? Maybe I am getting too unfit lol.

 

Great hearing about all your daughters, I know I will be questioning you loads more so be prepared lol.

 

Thank you all <'>

 

Maisies_mummy xxx

[darky]

Oh believe me Maisies mummy, I adore my girl, she is my angel, BUT there are times when I get frustrated, but thats more my problem at not being able to understand her or help her.

 

Before diagnosis, I shamefully admit I began to resent her. For 5 yrs I had the doctor and health visitor telling me she was just naughty, she saw a child pyschologist when she was 3 who said that she was "normal but naughty" thats besides the fact she ate and smeared her own poo! I thought there was something wrong with me, I was a bad mum and I was being punished for wanting a girl after I had my 2 boys! Better understanding, reading, empowering yourself with knowledge, know how to get the help, joining forums like this one all really help.

 

It is all more common in boys so it is hard to find the right info and support. We have finally managed to find a little girl locally who is very similar to Rhiannon and just a year younger, there are a fair few boys I know throug the local support group, but not many girls!

[jb1964]

Incidently, when she was 8m old she had double pnuemonia and was seriously ill. She needed so much oxygen and was so ill they thought she had something serious and had loads of tests for cystic fibrosis.

 

That is so weird - my daughter had exactly the same thing (pneumonia/collapsed lungs) when she was 7 months old - spent two weeks in hospital seriously ill on iv antibiotics and drips - thought it was TB originally and then tested for cystic fibrosis - we never found out what caused it - but from then on she was susceptible to chest infections and developed asthma.

 

Take care,

Jb

[darky]

that IS weird! Her top lobes of her lungs collapsed, it was hit and miss whether she would need intensive care, but luckily they stopped giving her nebulisers which made her worse and gave her iv antibiotics and oral antibiotics and steriods and luckily she turned the corner.

 

The only difference here is, she was hospitalised about 6 months later with another bout of pnuemonia, but not as serious, they treated her with iv's again and she was better in no time. after a year of a maintenance doses of antibiotics, she has probably been the healthiest child I know with only being poorley with kids stuff less than a handfull of times! strange though with her disgusting eating habbits

 

the only reoccuring problem she has had is intestinal worms. once a month without fail she will get them, no matter how rigorous we are, no matter how clean and no matter how many treatements she has, we just CANT ever fully get rid of them!

[Confusedmum]

Hi all,

 

My DD also speak with a croaky voice sometimes (like when you need to clear your throat) do any of your DDs speak like this.

[maisies_mummy]

Hi all,

 

My DD also speak with a croaky voice sometimes (like when you need to clear your throat) do any of your DDs speak like this.

 

Maisie does t hat sometimes but can also have a screachy kind of voice too, which tends to go right through me.