school problems aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[car2]

Hi, my 6 year old son is currently being assessed for Aspergers which in his paeds opinion is definate that thats the diagnosis.

Anyway, we have had various problems during the last 3 yrs but Dan has tried really hard and has received more support from school which has helped him alot.

 

The problem is, since he broke up the school has merged with the junior school and a lot of change has come about.

All this change has of course had an effect on Dan in a negative way.

 

Daniel explained to one of his teachers (who has taught him on and off for 2 years) that he wasn't happy with the changes and he didn't like the new group he was put into.

She said to him "well you know what my answer to that is- tough".

 

I want to kill her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it was totally inopropriate to talk to Dan like this and now he says she has been horrible to him. I really want to complain.

 

Dan's anger and agression has been worse over the holiday and when he has a meltdown he is uncontrollable so I knew I would have problems, but today Dan was aggrressive and violent in the playground and we were told that if his behaviour doesn't improve then we have to go and speak to the head master!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am totally peed off!!!

Dan had a meltdown because other kids were violent towards him-but thats ok isn't it??

 

Where are his support groups gone, why is he being kept back at lunch to do his hand-writing? His fine motor skills are poor so he hates writing because he knows he is not good at it- wheres his support???

 

I just don't know where to start- I really want to write a letter to complain and express my concerns for Dan's future at the school, is there anything I can demand such as support in the playground, with writng etc, should I push for a statement??

 

Right now I could do with a huge but I CAN'T because im almost 6 months pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If anyone could help me on what I should write, i'd be so so grateful.

thanks

caroline

Edited September 14, 2007 by car2

[annie]

Hi Caroline,

 

I would make an appointment to speak to the Head raising your concerns. Keep notes of every incident ie. what happened, date etc. so that you can refer to them in the meeting. Having a face to face meeting is a good way of sussing out whether the school are going to work with you. If anything significant comes of the meeting, write a letter to the Head after mentioning whatever was agreed/disagreed on.

 

Is your son on School Action Plus? If he is, start the ball rolling for a statement (see Here). You have to be able to show that the support already in place isn't enough, but that the school have tried and they need extra funding to meet his needs.

 

Annie

xx

 

PS From now on keep notes on all incidents and copies of any letters (always useful for showing why support is needed when applying for a statement .

[PinkSapphire]

Annie is spot on, hun you need to jump on these issues straight away because the longer you leave it the harder communicating (or trying to) with the school will be.

That teacher clearly needs a word too.

[Clare63]

Hi Caroline,

 

Its not surprising you are soooo angry, poor Dan being fob off like that, this teacher clearly needs some training. Annie has offered good advice and I would like to add that perhaps you could contact Autism Out Reach the officer who will be linked to your school could provide additonal advice and go into to school to help support them with how to deal with such changes with your son. They should also offer training for the staff at the school.

 

Bless your little lad for explaining to his teacher that he didn't like the changes, my lad would have bottled it up and not said a word, by him speaking to his teacher this should have opened up an opportunity for the pair of them to discuss the changes why they have been done and what Dan could do about them etc.,

 

I do believe that once you have a dx you'll probably find them to be more supportive of his needs, once they have a dx they can't ignore it, though may do.

 

Hope you are both feeling a little better tonight, sorry you can't have a nice big drink !!!!! but congratulations for your forth coming arrival.

 

Take care

 

Clare x x x

[paulathomson]

Hi, my 6 year old son is currently being assessed for Aspergers which in his paeds opinion is definate that thats the diagnosis.

Anyway, we have had various problems during the last 3 yrs but Dan has tried really hard and has received more support from school which has helped him alot.

 

The problem is, since he broke up the school has merged with the junior school and a lot of change has come about.

All this change has of course had an effect on Dan in a negative way.

 

Daniel explained to one of his teachers (who has taught him on and off for 2 years) that he wasn't happy with the changes and he didn't like the new group he was put into.

She said to him "well you know what my answer to that is- tough".

 

I want to kill her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it was totally inopropriate to talk to Dan like this and now he says she has been horrible to him. I really want to complain.

 

Dan's anger and agression has been worse over the holiday and when he has a meltdown he is uncontrollable so I knew I would have problems, but today Dan was aggrressive and violent in the playground and we were told that if his behaviour doesn't improve then we have to go and speak to the head master!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am totally peed off!!!

Dan had a meltdown because other kids were violent towards him-but thats ok isn't it??

 

Where are his support groups gone, why is he being kept back at lunch to do his hand-writing? His fine motor skills are poor so he hates writing because he knows he is not good at it- wheres his support???

 

I just don't know where to start- I really want to write a letter to complain and express my concerns for Dan's future at the school, is there anything I can demand such as support in the playground, with writng etc, should I push for a statement??

 

Right now I could do with a huge but I CAN'T because im almost 6 months pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If anyone could help me on what I should write, i'd be so so grateful.

thanks

caroline

 

 

this sounds much like my battle with my sons school and at present they talk to him in a formal tone which he doesnt like and everyday he says they have been mean to him. also the other kids wont let him play and they pick on him because he is soft.. one kids last year was punching on a weekly basis and in the last few weeks my ds hit him back and he got a bleeding nose.. of course my son was the bully and he was in trouble with the head. i complained.

 

i still have no support at school for the time being.. spent the whole of last year trying to no avail. i am not going to spend this year doing the same. his paed says he needs it so i have got in touvh with local mp and they got in touch with director of education at lea... who in turn got in touch with local councillor.. who then spoke to school head.. who has spoken to me and couldnt do enough to help..

 

i have said that i want to set up a multi-ageny meeting at school to get my son the help he needs..but without having to do separately.. i think finally they know that im not going to go away.. i mean business.

 

my advice.. which is probably not great advise... write down all your concerns.. keep a diary of what your child says has happened at school each day.. and then get in touch with your local mp.

 

hope this helps.

[di30]

How annoying is that !!

 

Hope they resolve these issues soon for your Dan.

 

We are still fighting for help for my 12 year old son, he has been under SEN since the age of 4, School action and School action plus for over the last year, still going round in circles, doesn't look like the school want to push for an assessment for statement, we will have to push for this ourselves with hopefully help from the disabilities team.

 

Next year he will be in year 9 and will be choosing his options for the GCSE year, so he needs further support now rather than later.

 

Good luck to you hon, your Dan deserves more than this too.

 

Luv Di xx