homework nightmare!

[lisa35]

Hi, jokes aside, just had WW3 over one piece of homework

My 12 year old is into 3rd week of high school ,homework has always been a nightmare, but we cant handle this carry on and total tantrums every night

Obviously he s going to get more and more, any advice please?

So far we ve designed a planner/ ticklist (son did most of it ) so that on a night he has a strict regime, and knows that a certain time he has homework to do

Also, teacher wrote in his school planner that Joes not recording homework, he does find it difficult to listen and write down the verbal instruction (has aduditory processing problems) Im not sure whether to wait another week, or drop teacher a line and explain and ask for advice re this issue,just dont want to go in all antagaonistic, need teacher on our side!

Occuptaional therapist is going into school end of October, to see if can advise on any problems.

I never expected that high school was sgsoing to be so difficult, we had just got to a point at primary when all teachers knew son and were so supportive

Im sure this school will be, have met senco,etc, and they have all info about sons assessment

Im trying hard to be positive, he s achieved so much, caught busy bus to school, managed with stressful corridors and canteen, yet feel really worried as cant see how he ll ever get organised and independant!

Turned into a moan and whinge, sorry, just feel that life is 100 times harder for my son compared to others!

Lisa

[Bard]

B started Secondary last September, and had similar problems at first.

I'd definitely speak to his Form Tutor ASAP, and tell them that you really want to support your son's work at home, in order to back up the teachers. I'd be very clear that Joe isn't being cheeky, lazy or any other form of intentional annoying behaviour. He needs support.

If you can help him get to grips with things, and understand concepts and methods at home, then he'll be happier and less stressed in school. Everyone wins.

Then tell the teacher that in order for this to happen, Joe needs someone to record the work in his planner for him, or the teacher setting the work needs to give him a slip with the task written on it. Or they can email it to you.

It may seem like a bit of a bother to them, but the end result will have an enormous impact on his ability to cope in the classroom, and if they understand that, they may be more willing.

The fact that B always does his homework to a high standard, handed in on time and that he understood it, isn't just nice for the staff. It also weighs in on the positive side of the scales when they are dealing with meltdowns and negative interactions with other students. They know that if they get things right, he's fantastic to teach.

[Kazzen161]

We've had the same problem. R only ever writes down a word or two and then we have to guess the rest. Up to now he has been in most of the same classes as his Twin, so I could ask him what it meant, but they aren't any more

 

I have spoken to everyone and asked for them to check he has written it down correctly, but they don't.

[lisa35]

Hi, jokes aside, just had WW3 over one piece of homework

My 12 year old is into 3rd week of high school ,homework has always been a nightmare, but we cant handle this carry on and total tantrums every night

Obviously he s going to get more and more, any advice please?

So far we ve designed a planner/ ticklist (son did most of it ) so that on a night he has a strict regime, and knows that a certain time he has homework to do

Also, teacher wrote in his school planner that Joes not recording homework, he does find it difficult to listen and write down the verbal instruction (has aduditory processing problems) Im not sure whether to wait another week, or drop teacher a line and explain and ask for advice re this issue,just dont want to go in all antagaonistic, need teacher on our side!

Occuptaional therapist is going into school end of October, to see if can advise on any problems.

I never expected that high school was sgsoing to be so difficult, we had just got to a point at primary when all teachers knew son and were so supportive

Im sure this school will be, have met senco,etc, and they have all info about sons assessment

Im trying hard to be positive, he s achieved so much, caught busy bus to school, managed with stressful corridors and canteen, yet feel really worried as cant see how he ll ever get organised and independant!

Turned into a moan and whinge, sorry, just feel that life is 100 times harder for my son compared to others!

Lisa

Thanks Bard, to be honest Id already written the letter, and suggested the strategies you identified,didnt think of email though,I guess we just have to ride the storm for a few weeks until it becomes second nature to him. Its tru,if the teachers have time/energy,they reap benefits tenfold, he s such a fantastically clever boy!

 

Thanks Kazza too,hope you get some help

Lisa

[pearl]

I do sympathise Lisa as it was one of the worst things about high school for JP. His SSA used to write homework notes down for him so we had some idea of what was expected, but it was still like wading through treacle at times. We "hovered" a lot - set him off on a task then checked at regular intervals so he didnt feel abandoned. We & college carried on the same strategies right through 6th form, but it was never easy.

 

I cant tell you what a difference it has made now he is working & has his evenings free - at least, until he starts his NVQ, but we are hoping that will be much less intense.

[Wardie]

It was so good to read these posts. This scenario is my real fear when my son goes to secondary school next year. I was wondering about the possibility of getting teachers to write down homework in some way as even in year 6 getting homework completed is a nightmare. His current school provides slips but are trying to encourage use of homework diaries in advance of next year. I will be really interested to hear how it works out for you and which strategies work.

Best of luck

Ally

[ullean's mum]

Hi Lisa, we really struggled with our eldest son AS when he reached high school,diary was useless as nobody checked to make sure it was written down in each class,we decided email was worth a try and it worked really well,we have our youngest son and his twin sister AS going into high school next summer and our youngest daughter AS going in the following summer and will continue to insist on homework by email with them as well.

[lisa35]

Thanks, the email sounds a fantastic idea, not sure what response would be,glad to know we re not alone on this one!

Lisa

[barefoot wend]

Lisa

 

High school is a whole new ball game. The children are all expected to be so much more independent and that isn't something that our children can deal with very quickly- especially when they are already using up enormous amounts of energy trying to cope with changing rooms, teachers, bus, etc.

 

I would definitely visit the SENco and ask that your son be seated at the front of each class and make every teacher check your son writes down his homework. I would also prepare them for the possibility that it may not get done. Tony Attwood has a good section in his book about homework.

 

My son struggeld with the huge expectations of secondary and only lasted two years before we had to withdraw him. Perhaps he was not up to mainstream or maybe I should have shouted louder earlier (hindsight is a wonderful thing).

 

Barefoot

[Kazzer]

Hi Lisa,

 

We are still in primary school, but already the Diary does not make it home, if it does it is guess work, we have set up a note bookin the hope that JC will pass this to the teacher, took 2 attempts, ( bless him) -

I am having a meeting after school this week , to see what we can do, The Email sounds great.

 

 

I am dreading "High School" -

 

Total lack of understanding from the School, say one thing and do another.

 

Good luck with it all

[lisa35]

Thanks all, just dreading all the uphill struggle again, though now we have a kinda diagnosis (asd traits! not enough for formal dx)

Onwards and upwards

Lisa x

[Bard]

Onwards and upwards

Lisa x

 

Yup! That's what I say.

Onwards and upwards, and sometimes straight through the middle!

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Edited September 16, 2007 by Bard