frazzled Report post Posted September 17, 2007 Hi My dd is 5 and is in Year 1. We do not have a formal diagnosis for her but expect one of ASD as she shows some of the sensory traits with sound and is speech delayed by about 2 years although is worse at understanding language than using it. The biggest problem is her response to school - she dislikes going (but is unable to explain why), behaves reasonably while there, although has started to refuse to do work, but turns into a mad thing when she comes out. It is like having the terrible two's all over again with extreme defiance, negativity coupled with being hyper and regressing with her speech. Totally heartbreaking to see. Although she is on a par academically with the rest of the class, she is being largely taught with a small group of special needs children within a mainstream classroom. As far as I can tell the others in this group are way behind her academically but probably much better behaved! She appears to have no friends as such and does not choose to interact with any of the children. She has been on School Action Plus since pre-school so this is her third year. To reduce some of the pressure we have reduced her school time to half a day and are using the rest of the time to do some physical activity, get homework out of the way and do some short 1-to-1 for those subjects she is missing by being part time. In the next week or so I have to go through the IEP process again. I am concerned that, although the teaching staff this year are very caring, they really do not understand her at all. There is no real SEN expertise at the school for ASD, but unfortunately there is no viable aternative school. I do not want to be put in the position where I am alienating these nice people, but at the moment she is not happy, not learning (except at home) and not socialising. We are strongly considering homeschooling, but do not want to pull her out of school without at least trying to fix the situation there. Has anyone got any suggestions to offer? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted September 17, 2007 Hi Frazzled, Sorry can't offer any advice sorry - just sending some thoughts for you all. We had pretty much the same situation - our daughter went the whole of primary crying and screaming each morning absolutely hating it and could never explain why - she would do anything to not go and to be honest she probably only did go about 50% of the time (as she did suffer with lots of illnesses on top). She wasn't diagnosed ASD until 12yrs old - it would be impossible to recount the number of times we sent her in a terrible state or had rows over this at home because my hubbie would be annoyed that she hadn't gone. If you could actually get her there the teachers would say after a while she would be ok and settle down - in fact they always mentioned how well behaved and quiet she was - wishing the whole class could be like her. However, when she walked through the school gates (sometimes not even getting that far) her emotional outbursts and anger, frustration would be massive - and last all evening. Obviously we had no support or anything through school although she was under special needs because of medical needs. It wasn't until she hit comprehensive that it really started to come out at school as well as home. Hope you get some answers soon. Take care, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted September 17, 2007 hello frazzled i have no advice but was in and still am in same position...more or less -i have 6 year old boy was dx in may this year and i too have the problem of getting him out and up for school in the morning -plus the bad fallout when i pick him up from school. yet at school hes good . since going up to year 2 it has all stepped up a pace too.....leaving me shattered by trying to manage it all. my son has no statement because well so they say hes doing well with his work ect. my son has always had problems with going and leaving places /situations. i have been using a visual time table with him and that has helped alot ....so he knows what to do next -it takes me out of the situation as in im not telling him to do it but the board is ect........ but ive still got the problems on picking him up from school.....i have written to the headmaster for permission to use the school car park in order to try and contain it a bit more.........this has helped a bit but i still get parents staring at us as i struggle with him as soon as he walks out of classroom. about the teaching staff too -not many seem to know much about asd,i thought it would be easier when my son got his dx but am finding its not always the case. take care rq xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jomica Report post Posted September 17, 2007 (edited) My 10 year old DS has been like this since before Christmas - really hating school, not wanting to work, destroying things he is supposed to be working on, being rude to teachers, refusing to take part in things, etc. After a particularly bad start to the year we're starting to make a bit of progress now. His new class teacher has arranged everything she does so that he has more structure, less movements between classes, praises and plays to his strengths, etc. I'm re-reading "Martian in the Playground" by Claire Sainsbury which is really helpful in explaining what kind of things can go wrong and why. There's so many sections where she could be talking about my DS. I can recommend it as essential reading, especially when things are going wrong at school. Edited September 17, 2007 by jomica Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
