jlp Report post Posted September 18, 2007 G has been at his school for almost 2 years now (Y3) and has been wearing his tie mostly fine - he occasionally grumbles and once threw his tie in the classroom bin to the outrage of a class teacher but mostly he doesn't comment. This last week we've had a few problems and he ended up going in yesterday without it (I gave it to his support worker but it came back in his pocket so I'm guessing they didn't have more luck geting it on), today he was watching TV when I put it on but came out with it in his pocket again. Now I know this could be a sensory thing but how can I tell if it's genuine or awkwarditis? If it's an ASD issue then I will see if I can argue for him not to have to wear it, but if it is G just deciding he's not wearing it (for example he wanted to wear trainers but this wasn't a sensory thing so I insisted he wears his school shoes) then I feel he should wear his tie. I can't really get him to explain what the problem is and I don't want to put words into his mouth - all he's said is that he looks just as smart without his tie. It's not a biggie really as no-one from school has said anything (yet!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted September 18, 2007 Just a thought....J doesn't have to wear a tie all the time but when he does he absolutely hates the top button on his shirt being done up. Do you think it might be that instead of the actual tie on it's own. When I leave J's top button undone behind the top of the tie he's fine, but if buttons done up then tie is off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlp Report post Posted September 18, 2007 It's a good point but I leave the top button open and tie the tie really loosely (is that spelt right? I've had a bad day!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted September 18, 2007 Hmmmm....mite just be 'don't like tie-itis! then... Vaguely recall from my school days that we did all have a phase of it 'being cool' not to wear our ties..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted September 19, 2007 Maybe a clip-on tie would feel more comfortable, as it wouldn't be wrapped around the neck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted September 19, 2007 I know my lad wouldn't be able to tolerate a tie and, thank goodness, his school has no uniform, but if your lad has been wearing one for two years without a problem then it wouldn't seem to be that, I guess. What are the other kids in his class doing, do you know? Maybe he's copying some of the other kids' behaviours or maybe it's just adjusting to not wearing one all summer and then suddenly having to wear one every day. Good luck with it. <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlp Report post Posted September 19, 2007 Well after writing a long complicated version of the above in the home school diary saying it might be a sensory thing (I was assuming the teacher has no knowledge of asd) he came out today with his tie on so they're probably wondering what I'm going on about (if in fact anyone read it as there was no acknowledgement). Mel, you may be right - he hasn't had to wear it all summer so it might be just a case of getting used to it again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted September 20, 2007 Hi jlp, how are you today? It could be sensory because it can be variable depending on what else is going on. Example: A few nights ago dh and I were having mushroom soup for tea. J is mortally offended by everything about mushroom soup - it smells like death and looks like sludge so getting him to the table is tough enough. J had his usual meal of plain meat and vegetables, but he couldn't eat the veg (his favourites), saying that they tasted awful. The next day dh and I had a more 'normal' meal and J had the same veg again - from the same packs as yesterday - and he scoffed the lot. I figured that his smell/taste sensitivity was heightened because of the smell of the mushroom soup and it had been harder for him to cope with his own food. When I did a sensory awareness course I was told that sensitivity levels can fluctuate depending on other circumstances, which can lead to uncertainty (especially in schools) as to whether or not the sensitivity is real or put on. It's probably real. In G's case there might have been other things going on in school that were unsettling him, even slightly, and made him more aware of his tie. How about a reward system specifically for his tie? Top Trumps maybe? There's a great pack of Star Wars Clone Wars (cartoon) at the moment? Just a thought... Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
