Meltdowns

[KMC]

Hmmmm...

 

I very rarely have meltdowns anymore and am usually pretty stable but last weekend was a shocker. Without going into too much detail, I had been involved in something the previous week that we had just managed to save from going bady wrong infront of a lot of people.

 

Last weekend, despite going through a review of what went wrong the previous week, I was placed in an even worse situation through people not doing their work properly, not listening to what had been said and not providing any proper handover.

 

Because of the situation I was in, I lost it badly and went into meltdown. My meltdowns are pretty much a huge rant rather than anything else but they arent something that most people understand. This is the first one in about 4 years - possibly longer. I did it infront of one person only, not a whole lot of people but still, although I feel justified in what I said, I'm not particularly happy with how I said it.

 

Unfortunately the person I said it to, went into defensive mode and is still there. I dont want them to be defensive, I want them to address and sort the issues. Tonight, a member of my team is working and the same issues exist with the lack of handover and doco. Infact, it's worse than it normally is and should things go wrong, they have no way of being able to fix stuff quickly because they have no idea of what's been put in place.

 

Somehow I need to resolve this but I have no idea how right now. I can't have the guys working without knowing what they are supporting.

 

Sometimes having AS is an absolute pain because this is one of those situations that I don't have any "learned" knowledge on so I dont know how to get what I need. Usually I would be okay but not having just had that meltdown. It's bugged me all week.

 

 

Anyway.... maybe just writing this will get it out of my system and then I can move on.

 

 

 

cheers

 

 

KC

[pearl]

<'> KMC <'>

I actually find this quite encouraging, I dont know how old you are but JP (18) had a big meltdown a couple of weeks ago which we all found v distressing, he hadnt had one since the spring so it had been a few months but seemed to come out of the blue, tho it later emerged there were reasons behind it. So hopefully, as he ages he will go YEARS between? Woohoo!

 

It sounds like you've been having an incredibly stressful time, I know you're not into disclosing but would it be possible to speak to your colleague about why you reacted in that way?

[KMC]

Pearl,

 

I am currently at home watching what my guys are supporting and I am on the edge of my seat because I know they cant react quickly. That is stress! I've already seen one problem but luckily it WAS fixed properly but it wasnt one of ours. If we have a problem tonight we are stuffed.

 

I tried talking to my colleague tonight and was told that they were too busy to talk to me.

 

 

Not a good evening.

 

 

 

KC

[pearl]

and.... breathe.....

try again tomorrow. It probs really isnt a good time with all that going on.

[KMC]

yeah... I'm just waiting for my mobile to ring so breathing is taking 2nd place at the moment.

[bid]

Can't help really, but I had a spectacular meltdown last week, too.

 

It happened because over 3 days I had found a house we could afford, viewed it, arranged for DH to view it, arranged mortgage at bank, went to estate agents and made an offer, had offer accepted, got quotes from solicitors, instructed a solicitor...

 

All stuff I find incredibly challenging in a really short timescale. It was like pretending to be NT non-stop for 3 days: all that eye contact, all that talking, all that trying to take in everything being said, too many unfamiliar things!! I held it together while I needed to, but the 4th day I just lost it completely: I felt physically ill, completely agitated, mega sensory overload and BOOM!!

 

It sounds as though your meltdown was a similar reaction to holding everything together under very stressful circumstances??

 

The only plus side for me was that afterwards I was able to have a go at identifying the emotions that had overwhelmed me...I real problems identifying my emotions when they are happening , so trying to work out what was going on afterwards is a new thing for me, and a direct result of understanding that I have AS and how it affects me. My DH is really good at helping in this now.

 

Wish I could offer some sensible advice...can only think of talking to your line manager and explaining the current problems?

 

Good luck and try and hang in there <'>

 

Bid

Edited September 19, 2007 by bid

[llisa32]

Hi Kmc, sorry for the rough time at mo...are you able to send out an email to this colleague/bunch of colleagues?

 

Start off with an apology - say something like 'Apologies that I may have been a bit short tempered lately, as we're all aware things have been a little hectic'

 

Then say 'I believe the following would help us all to move forward.......and then list out whatever you think that is...improved handovers, uptodate documentation etc

 

With that statement you have broken the ice, agreed that you lost your rag - but in the same way as many others would and for the same reasons...I strongly suspect that this is all your colleague/s will be thinking anyway...that you had a bad week and lost your rag - happens to all of us!

 

When I've done it I've found that the worrying about the consequences were worse than the reality and that the sooner I mentioned 'sorry I was grumpy' or my favourite 'Sorry I've been a bit of a grumpy witch lately! ...gets it all over and done with much quicker. People are far more accepting of the occasional temper blow when you acknowledge that you've had one - and we all do from time to time.

 

Hope this helps

 

Lisa

[KMC]

Unfortunately I have done the email thing already and it got ignored.

 

Last night was fairly stressful. I saw 3 issues but luckily none of them were ours. Last night stressed me out so much that I have been in bed with a migraine all day today. I certainly dont need that at the moment.

 

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

[llisa32]

Sorry the email approach hasn't worked thus far KMC <'> but at least there's evidence that you've tried to break the ice - hopefully things will settle a bit more in the next few days

 

Hope your migraine gets better <'>

 

Lisa

[pearl]

Oooh, migraine, horrible.

They lessen with age (a bit like meltdowns)

I havent had one for several years now & thank the lord every saturday, which is when they used to hit me (rebound migraine, apparently)

[Frangipani]

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