Argh I am so flippin angry

[stressedmumto2]

Can somebody help me please??

 

My son has started at local EBD school and because they can't find a suitable escort with qualifications in ASD they are using his sessional worker for some of the days and the other days he has a different social worker.

 

Just recently he has been refsuing to go out with sessional worker on respite sessions and occasionally running off this is whilst respite worker has been sat in car (not supervising appropiatly in my eyes).

 

Because of the difficulties with son refusing to go with worker after school and running off to play with his friends I said to worker last week to take son out direct from school and that I would pack necessary things for him to collect from home before collecting son from school i.e. fishing stuff or bike stuff etc. One of the day's last week this worked ok today different story.

 

In between leaving school and getting in the escorts car my son had done a runner, another mum seen him by the road trying to hitch a lift so persuaded him to get in her car (she bribed him with a mc flurry) The school contacted me as she contacted them and I asked them to tell her to drop him back to school to meet worker there, instead they never passed the message on, she took son back tomy house worker was outside and son run off again.

 

When I arrived home the respite/escort worker was sat in car writing. I walked in doors to drop shopping in and he knocked said he didn't know where son was, had informed the office and was now going back to the office. I replied "thanks, where is son, you've lost him, leave us just like you normally do and f off" I know I was wrong but I just couldn't help myself from the worry of another evening wandering the streets looking for my son, when this should be my respite.

 

I called the school who said they sent out two teachers looking for son, which is more than likely lies as they told the other mum when she called to say she had him that they thought son was with escort. The school are saying it's nobody's fault and have made the comment that my son said he didn't want to go with worker cos he wanted to come home. He only wants to come home so he can play with friends on streets which I don't want him too and in any case he's meant to be going out having his sessions.

 

I am very angry, a few calls later and the school told me he had an unsettled day. I called the poloice and they came out and found him and brought him home. Social services think it's accaptable for me to let son out to play and that I should trust him, I can't even trust him to stay in the road so how can I leave him to play outside.

 

I am so angry, can someone please advise me what to do. I just don't know whatto do anymore and I am close to cracking up.

 

A year or so ago son was as bad as he is now, but we managed to kerb it he played in most of the time except for when I took him out or worker did and at least I knew he was safe. Now he's in the EBD school he's mixing with older kids, trying to escape school with them, running off after school to play with them and I have no control whatsoever. I feel my job as a mum is near the end I can't even keep him safe. As soon as he arrives home from school he runs off, he's too fast for me to catch and if I did grab him he would end up hurting me, yes he's violent to me and his sis. He frequently smashes windows to go out and play and bashes the house about cos he wants to play out. He also does allof this when he can'thave his own way or gets frustrated. I've tried to let him out to play but he doesn't keep to time's and I have to go up the road frequently then when I say it's time to come in he runs off. He's out of control and I can't keep him safe. I feel a ###### mum.

 

Tomorrow we have a meeting with school, I do not even want to go. I am fed up for being blamed for him running off etc.

 

I have asked the escort/respite worker if he can link arms with him when brining him home but he wont as he see's it as restraint even though this was a recommendation by the autism out-reach worker. The escort worker has now allowed him to run off on more than 3 occasions, but 3 being the last 2 weeks. I feel my son is at risk.

 

help me please someone. I don't know what to do. I've had enough and don't know where to turn

[paulathomson]

i cant give you any advice as im quite new to the whole asd/school thing. but i just wanted to say that i am thinking of you and send you an angel.. hope it works out for you and your son. <'>

[phoenix]

i've only just started my battle with the school, so i can only send you a <'>

[JsMum]

I would write all this down and send it to all departments required as complaints procedures, so transport, education, social services, its the only way, becuase they really dont like written complaints, send copys to the local ombusman and also your local areas, MP and the chiefs in all the departmetns that are in charge of these services, its going to entail a lot of letters and photocopying, but it will be the only thing that will get all these services working together instead of all passing the buck, I have read the restraint policy in our areas services and the employers are NOT allowed to physically force a child into school.

 

I would look into legal representation for helping you get this sorted out, the starting point could be citizens advice or look on the NAS website that looks at legal services that ensure that children with disabilities recieve the right help.

 

Citizens will help you also at a list of organisations that looks at childrens rights to services and care.

 

COMPLAINT PROCEDURES NEED TO BE ADURED TO.

 

JsMum

[JsMum]

<'> <'> <'> <'> Hugs and loads of positive energy for the fight to get this right <'> <'>

 

 

JsMum

[stressedmumto2]

To make matters worse I have found 6 small bruises on my son's arm just up from his wrist, he says it was where the teachers restrained him today, 3 of them. Also a small bruising scratch markon his neck. Hesaid the teacherwas pinching his skin, probably not but that's how it may have felt to him.

 

Thanks everybody else for replies <'>

[JsMum]

If you have a real concern over your sons bruising and these could be the result of been restraint then these are signs they are not using an effective methods and using physical harm, I woudl strongly advice you to take him to the A+E for a full physical and explain how he has recieved them.

 

JsMum