Update on JP

[pearl]

Its 2 months in, so thought I'd do a bit of a catch up on our forum office boy.

 

(For those who have joined since the summer, the lovely peeps on here commiserated & cheered with us as JP went through 2 apprenticeship assessments in the spring. The first one he didnt get *BOO* the second one he did *YAY* and he started mid August as a business admin apprentice with our city council, starting off in the legal department)

 

Well we are still keeping EVERYTHING crossed, but so far, so good.

He has settled in well & made some friends

He goes out for lunch regularly with colleagues

He does around 20 different office tasks

He has been in court! (To observe!)

He's coping with public transport

He's coping with buying his own lunch

He starts his NVQ next month

 

He's finding the work easy at the moment, & is enjoying not having homework to do every night. He continues to do well with his driving & has just finished Pass Plus. He loves earning & is saving hard - he wants his own place eventually! Woohoo, I'll have Empty Nest Syndrome yet!

 

The only negative thing is that he has twice been pulled up for poor social skills. However they are aware of his dx & are handling him well. He has had no complaints otherwise.

 

As for me, well you all know how over the moon I am. I look back on this year with amazement & gratitude. Nevertheless I am really struggling with this transition. As he is 18 I am virtually out of the loop, so if anything goes wrong its up to him to tell me. I have a low level worry the whole time that this is fragile & may go wrong, & I wont know until its too late.

 

BUT this isnt a whinge! I'll get used to it. Its what we aim for. And I am so very proud of my lad

[Bagpuss]

Oh Pearl....What a lovely post <'>

 

Huge well done to JP

[pearl]

Thanks Baggy! Just posting about clothes on your thread!

[Bagpuss]

Please don't say make them yourself...I think I'd begin to sob, and never stop

[pearl]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, as if

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

brilliant Go JP

:notworthy:

[bid]

Fantastic update!

 

So pleased everything is going really well

 

Bid

[Mumble]

That's great Pearl - so glad it's going well for JP :clap:

 

Please don't say make them yourself...I think I'd begin to sob, and never stop

You know what Baggy? - Me thinks with things going well for JP, Pearl has a bit of spare time on her hands I'd be sending her a pair of knitting needles by special delivery if I were you

[pearl]

That's great Pearl - so glad it's going well for JP :clap:

You know what Baggy? - Me thinks with things going well for JP, Pearl has a bit of spare time on her hands I'd be sending her a pair of knitting needles by special delivery if I were you

 

*passes knitting needles over to elderly mum who is acknowledged expert in this field *

[Tally]

That's great

 

Is it anything specific about his poor social skills? It could be something he could learn do 'get by' in.

[forbsay]

Well done JP

[Clare63]

Very inspirational Pearl, thanks for the up date and well done to JP

 

Clare x x x

[baddad]

<'>

 

L&P

 

BD

[elun1]

<'> <'>

Elun xx

[pearl]

That's great

 

Is it anything specific about his poor social skills? It could be something he could learn do 'get by' in.

 

1. Making tactless remarks (when asked if he knew a certain person, described them as "balding")

2. Talking too much!

 

He is v likeable & I think they realise there is absolutely no malice in him.

 

I think they are just nipping probs in the bud, & always talk to him in private about anything they are not happy with. And I've found a social skills prog which sounds fantastic, just waiting to hear about it. I posted the details on the positive thread.

[Mumble]

1. Making tactless remarks (when asked if he knew a certain person, described them as "balding")

Why is that tactless? If someone has curley hair I describe them as curley haired . If someone is bald or going bald I describe them bald . Shouldn't I do this? I rely on hair (or lack of) because I'm pretty sure it's something I see properly, so if I shouldn't do this I'm totally lost on identifying features.

 

(sorry for taking over your thread btw - I'm curious now)

[pearl]

Why is that tactless? If someone has curley hair I describe them as curley haired . If someone is bald or going bald I describe them bald . Shouldn't I do this? I rely on hair (or lack of) because I'm pretty sure it's something I see properly, so if I shouldn't do this I'm totally lost on identifying features.

 

(sorry for taking over your thread btw - I'm curious now)

 

A lot of men are very sensitive about losing their hair, Mumble - (some, like mr pearl, couldnt care less) - but you have to assume that anyone who is balding won't want the fact pointing out - a bit like women with their weight issues.

 

Thing is, JP knew this as I had explained it many times, but male pattern hair loss is one of his obsessions & he couldnt resist. Now he has learnt the hard way that mum was right & you cant say that about peeps.

Hope that helps.

[Mumble]

A lot of men are very sensitive about losing their hair, Mumble - (some, like mr pearl, couldnt care less) - but you have to assume that anyone who is balding won't want the fact pointing out - a bit like women with their weight issues.

Ok, thanks - the 'fatty fatty fatkins' is one my sister's always telling me off about (makes me sound like a horrible person doesn't it - I'm not really, I just have limited resources with which to describe people). I wonder what the PC term for a bald person is?

 

Is it the Manchester course - the business one? I saw that in AU and thought it sounded good - it's too far away for me though. I'll be interested to know how JP gets on.

[Bard]

I wonder what the PC term for a bald person is?

 

The PC way is not to use it as a term of reference.

Many people who are balding like to pretend that it's not happening, and to be identified as such destroys their happy little illusion. A couple of decades ago, the 'comb over ' was the style adopted by many. Now they often choose a very close cropped haircut.

 

 

Playground, after school last week.

5 year old was having his friend round to tea and was trying to point out the child to his mother.

'Over there'

Play equipment full of small wriggling children in school uniform.

'He's wearing his jumper'

Like the other 30.

'He's got a Thomas lunchbox like mine...but he's not got it now' (because you're not allowed to climb area if your hands are full of stuff)

He's there! THERE!

Waving hands frantically around.

 

Then I said "He's the black child on the bridge."

To Sam, the fact that Tim was black hadn't registered as significant. The fact that he had a Thomas lunchbox exactly like Sam's was.

Edited October 20, 2007 by Bard

[pearl]

Ok, thanks - the 'fatty fatty fatkins' is one my sister's always telling me off about (makes me sound like a horrible person doesn't it - I'm not really, I just have limited resources with which to describe people). I wonder what the PC term for a bald person is?

 

Is it the Manchester course - the business one? I saw that in AU and thought it sounded good - it's too far away for me though. I'll be interested to know how JP gets on.

 

fatty fatty fatkins that made me laugh, but probs not if you described me that way

I've heard the term "follicly challenged" but only as a joke.

Thing is if you know someone very well it is sometimes possible to joke about their physical shortcomings without them punching you in the face, but its fraught with danger & probs not advisable.

 

These follicly challenged guys should realise that some of us find the look rather attractive.

Yes its the Manchester one - the first copy of AU I ever received & there it was. Sounds perfect.

Edited October 20, 2007 by pearl

[Mumble]

fatty fatty fatkins that made me laugh, but probs not if you described me that way

It's alright, I save it for the very large (oh, and my sister's friend) and (try) to avoid it directly. I have a far more subtle one for direct confrontation that initially confuses people - "Mmm, dust" - by the time they've worked it out I'm long gone!!! So you're safe with your jaffa cakes for now!!!

 

Is Tony Robinson "follicly challenged"?

[pearl]

It's alright, I save it for the very large (oh, and my sister's friend) and (try) to avoid it directly. I have a far more subtle one for direct confrontation that initially confuses people - "Mmm, dust" - by the time they've worked it out I'm long gone!!! So you're safe with your jaffa cakes for now!!!

 

Is Tony Robinson "follicly challenged"?

 

Ooh yes, I think he is.

Thing is, JP knew that he shouldnt say that in front of the guy, but still got in trouble for describing him that way - it was seen as disrespectful. They knew he wasnt being, but he needed to know for future reference.

 

Dust?

[Mumble]

Ooh yes, I think he is.

Thing is, JP knew that he shouldnt say that in front of the guy, but still got in trouble for describing him that way - it was seen as disrespectful. They knew he wasnt being, but he needed to know for future reference.

Ah, so he said it about the guy in front of the guy? So it would still be ok if I was trying to describe the person I meant (who wasn't there) to someone to describe them as balding?

 

Dust?

It's from "Fat Fighters" on Little Britain. The idea being that "horizontally challenged"?? people should replace cakes, biscuites, jaffa cakes etc with 'dust' to loose weight. I think it's one of those "have to have seen it things", but it works well as a replacement "code" betwen my sister and I.

 

sorry really detracted from your original thread now. And again it's turned into a jaffa cake disussion!!!

[pearl]

Ah, so he said it about the guy in front of the guy? So it would still be ok if I was trying to describe the person I meant (who wasn't there) to someone to describe them as balding?

It's from "Fat Fighters" on Little Britain. The idea being that "horizontally challenged"?? people should replace cakes, biscuites, jaffa cakes etc with 'dust' to loose weight. I think it's one of those "have to have seen it things", but it works well as a replacement "code" betwen my sister and I.

 

sorry really detracted from your original thread now. And again it's turned into a jaffa cake disussion!!!

 

No sorry I didnt explain that v well. The guy WASN'T there - JP wouldnt have said it in front of him. But didnt realise he shouldnt have said it at all.

Ah, Little Britain. Remember now.

*goes off to eat some jaffa cakes*

[Mumble]

No sorry I didnt explain that v well. The guy WASN'T there - JP wouldnt have said it in front of him. But didnt realise he shouldnt have said it at all.

Oh I didn't either. I wouldn't say it in front of people but I would use it as a descriptive feature of people to explain who I'm talking about (seeing as I'm useless with names and faces) - I've found it works quite well - "whatisname, the bald guy who works in the office on the ground floor", or "thingummy, the woman with the long blonde hair who works on the third floor". I'm really scuppered now I don't like to think that I've insulted people, I'm going to have to come up with another way of describing people.

 

Enjoy your jaffa cakes (oh, and btw, you had me in giggles again in M&S on Thursday . . . )

[Tally]

1. Making tactless remarks (when asked if he knew a certain person, described them as "balding") ohmy.gif

2. Talking too much!

 

He is v likeable & I think they realise there is absolutely no malice in him.

 

These are hard skills to learn. I was hoping it would be something more specific like he answers the phone badly, which you can script a solution for. But if they realise he's not doing it deliberately, hopefully they will cut him some slack.

 

Describing someone as balding is not a really awful thing to say, is it? Most of the lads where I work would probably have called him "that balding c##t."

[pearl]

Yes it is hard isnt it Tally, because these kinds of scenarios vary so much.

The lads where you work for instance would probs say that amongst themselves, but would know not to say it to management.

So I think the best thing is to err on the side of caution & not say anything which could be seen as derogatory about someone else. Trouble is, how do you know until someone tells you?