Ignorant Peeps

[madme]

I'm currently working on a temp basis. A colleague who is new also and didnt know my situation upset me today. She was ranting about her sister in law and her inadequacies vis-a vis her so called Asperger son. She kept going on about that this child is more like an 8 year old and that his parents over indulge him etc- he is apparently 14. She has 3 girls all Uni grads with no apparent probs. She said that his behaviour was v bad. I sat there and cringed. I tried to vocalise my views and I think that I failed. My kids although ASd are possibly brighter than hers but she could never see that. I hope that I have brought my kids up to have very different views of disability. My DD 6 plays happily longside a child with cerebral palsy and finds ways for him to play football with her. I accept that had we not been forced to take part in this road we might have had a different outlook but I resent those smug parents who think that they know all the answers when in reality they have had it easy.

Sorry for the rant.

[KateBall]

My dd (nt) came across this attitude at uni when during a lecture (to do with social sciences of some sort) they discussed whether adhd / add was a genuine condition. Others in her group said it wasn't and said it was just down to bad parenting. She soon put them right. But its incredible that these peeps as young as they are with no personal experience can be so bigoted.

 

Its at times like this I wish I could come up with some really hard hitting sarcastic one liner that puts them down and makes them realise what pill**ks they are. Hope you can come up with something if you have to work with her again and she goes on.

[rach04]

<'> >< this is exactly the reason why me and my sister fell out. she accused me of "making it up" cause shes never seen his anxiety problems she probably only sees him once a year. If she hasnt read it in a book its not right. Dont you just wish there was a book out there for every child that has as/asd with all their own traits in it so we could see what we were dealing with come on everyone lets get writing

 

also a friend of mine (neighbour) decided that she would have j for a fortnight and sort out his sleeping problems. You can put him bed at 2am and he will still be up at 4.30 am. So i said fine off you go.................... she lasted 4 days. now when i moan at how tired i am she never gives out stupid advise they all think they know everything and its just a case of "training" them.

[kellyanne]

My dd (nt) came across this attitude at uni when during a lecture (to do with social sciences of some sort) they discussed whether adhd / add was a genuine condition. Others in her group said it wasn't and said it was just down to bad parenting. She soon put them right.

 

 

hello,

 

J has adhd and i'm so glad your dd stuck up for those that have it and put right the peeps who claim it is all down to bad parenting.

 

we did everything we could before a dx, we went to parenting classes, done reward charts and sticker charts cut out certain foods you name it we tried it. he was even in a special class at school to help with children who have behavoural probs and it was only when we did all of this they finally decided that actually maybe he should have been assessed.

 

it really annoys me with peoles attitude. i can see the way they look at me in the street when j is in a meltdown and i'm there making sure he is safe and not endangering himself but also not making a fuss, coz as most of us know this only makes them worse, peeps look at me AND say things like (my own sis included) 'aren't you going to do something' and ' if you were my child.......................' i'm like 'yes and if he were your child what would you do???' unless peeps have experience they are just sorry to say it but some can be soooooo ignorant!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sorry my little moan over

 

Kellyanne x x x

[pearl]

As the lovely Germaine Jackson said in Celebrity Big Brother:

You cannot reason with stupidity.

 

If the child is 14 but more like an 8 year old, then he is about where he should be, as emotionally AS children are approx two thirds of their chronological age. So JP for instance, despite being a working man, is more like a 12 year old in his reactions, & I always bear that in mind.

 

This woman of course will not know that. If the subject comes up again, you could try & educate her, but its very hard to challenge peoples prejudices.

[sesley]

I'm currently working on a temp basis. A colleague who is new also and didnt know my situation upset me today. She was ranting about her sister in law and her inadequacies vis-a vis her so called Asperger son. She kept going on about that this child is more like an 8 year old and that his parents over indulge him etc- he is apparently 14. She has 3 girls all Uni grads with no apparent probs. She said that his behaviour was v bad. I sat there and cringed. I tried to vocalise my views and I think that I failed. My kids although ASd are possibly brighter than hers but she could never see that. I hope that I have brought my kids up to have very different views of disability. My DD 6 plays happily longside a child with cerebral palsy and finds ways for him to play football with her. I accept that had we not been forced to take part in this road we might have had a different outlook but I resent those smug parents who think that they know all the answers when in reality they have had it easy.

Sorry for the rant.

 

 

ignorant stupid people thats all they are how ever we know different don't we, are children are unique,intelligent and valuable people,the neurotypical people are usually shallow and all they think about is the appearence of the outside and haven't got the intelligence themselves to see that beneath the surface something special and beautiful exists. I recently experienced another mother in the playground and she's a GP let slip ASD is a diesease. They all just ignorant fools and i'm learning to rise above the comments hard as it is.

,

[Mumble]

ignorant stupid people thats all they are how ever we know different don't we, are children are unique,intelligent and valuable people,the neurotypical people are usually shallow and all they think about is the appearence of the outside and haven't got the intelligence themselves to see that beneath the surface something special and beautiful exists.

Some do, not all. People vary. I think we have to be very careful about setting up any them/us dichotomy if we want to promote awareness and understanding.

[sesley]

I know you are right,i feel angry ,when you hear ignorant comments from the ignorant them, its because my son is so young and innocent and i feel a need to protect him from bad comments and i can't, he goes back to school to play early now before the bell and wants to play football with the other children and my oh says another child said we don't want p in our game he is rubbish, poor P it must be hard for him to hear these comments because he wants to be friends with them all,and doesn't understand nasty comments or what they mean. In a ideal world there would be no us and them, but hopefully more people will become more understanding and informed so our autisitc human beings can be respected as equal human beings . Its interesting though isn't it a work collegue can say negative things in public about another human being ,without the descrimination laws threatening them unlike they would if they said anything offensive and negative about another human being of a different race and religion.

[hev]

them/us dichotomy i

ive never heard that word before,whats it mean?sorry to go off topic!!

[pearl]

I just googled it:

 

the process or result of division into two parts

[kellyanne]

, as emotionally AS children are approx two thirds of their chronological age.

 

 

hi pearl,

 

I didn't know this about AS children. It makes sense now as to why J reacts the same way, emotionally, as H who is 5

[pearl]

Hi kellyanne

I read it somewhere. Its a good rule of thumb, I think.

[kellyanne]

oh definately, this is all fairly new to me only had dx last month so any advice i can pick is great. And this will certainly help