Oppinions needed

[Viper]

I get a lot of unexplained bruises, I think I am lacking in Iron.

 

I had one of my bruises come up on my leg and was trying to think where it had come from when DH reminded me that Superman had punched me earlier in the day while we were in town. I had refused to buy him a Wii game (I have already got it for Christmas)

 

When I realised it was him that had caused it I said no more. Do you think I should tell SM that he has caused me injury or just leave it? If it was an NT child that had done it I wouldn't hessitate to show them. But if I showed SM he would be devastated that he had hurt me. My thinking behind it is that he doesn't know what he is doing at the time so shouldn't have to confront the results later. Or am I wrong, should I show him in the hope it might make him think before he does it again?

[pingu]

Hi viper.

 

(Thanks for your Pm)

 

I would show SM the bruise, But try not to make too much of it. I reverted to doing this when k hit me and his sister. Only he wasnt that bothered and still continues to hit out when angry or upset. You never know though... it may work for you if you explain to him gently.

 

<'>

[fiorelli]

Hi Viper,

 

I'm sorry, but I wouldn't say anything. Even if it was one of my NT children that had hurt me. My theory is that it is a bit late once the horse has bolted.

 

I would have said something as soon as Louis had calmed down, if he had done it to me. Pointless bringing it to his attention when he is in the middle of being upset at not getting the game he wanted, but likewise, pointless bringing it to his attention hours later when he has no doubt forgotten about it.

 

However, if I were you and getting unexplained bruising, I'd be making an appointment with the GP/Nurse to see if they could do a blood check to test all my levels.

 

This is just my opinion mind. Hope I haven't caused offence.

 

Fiorelli xx

[Karen A]

Hi Viper.

If you are bruising more than previously and especially if you have bruises when you would not expect to then it would be a good idea to visit your GP.Ask your GP if they will do some routine blood tests.Increased bruising can be related to a low platelet count..another component of the blood to red blood cells.If you have had nose bleeds or have noticed that you are having heavy periods it would be worth mentioning that too.Karen.

[Viper]

Thank you for you replies.

 

With regard to the bruising. I have Hypermobility syndrome and bruising more easily can be a symptom of that.

 

KarenA, I don't have nose bleeds or periods. I had early menopause so at the grand old age of 42 I don't get the monthly curse any more.

[oxgirl]

Hi Viper,

 

If it was me, depending on the age and ability of the child, I think I would be inclined to discuss the bruising with the child. I don't think there's anything wrong with confronting a child with the consequences of their actions, in a sensitive and gentle manner, of course. I'd keep it fairly low key, but just make him aware that what he'd done had 'hurt mummy' and to please not do that again. If he is upset about it, then it could mean that he thinks twice next time if he knows the consequences of his actions and realizes that he has, in fact, caused actual harm.

<'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I'd show him that you've been bruised as a result of being hit. He may become upset or show no emotion - in either case, he needs to be shown the consequence of hitting someone is to cause them pain and injury. I'd do it in a way so as not to cause too much of a fuss (keep it low key as poss), but in a way which hopefully makes the point. My son has been extremely violent towards me in the past and thankfully now that he's nearly 6 the violent has lessened (he much more inclined to shout, throw or break things, self harm, etc - don't know that that's an improvement!?). I'm of the belief that even if a child has an ASD it still isn't acceptable behaviour to lash out. An ASD is a reason for why they behave they way they do, but not an excuse. Whilst, it's incredibly difficult to handle, the offender needs to be shown in a calm but firm way that violence isn't acceptable. Obviously any discussions need to be age commensurate.

 

Caroline.

Edited December 10, 2007 by cmuir

[sesley]

Well when he hits me i do make a exagerated thing that he's hurt me badly and that i am so upset and he can't have whatever he wants ie tv or computer etc, i think like any person they do need to understand that there is a penalty to bad behaviour its necessary for me to show him the pain he caused and his reaction is one of regret when he calms down,these things normally happen during a tantrum, its also good for the siblings to see that when they have been on the receiving end of painful treatment that you are supportive to their pain by showing that the culprit gets a penalty for unsociable and hurtful actions too.Depending of your person's level of understanding of communitcation you can make them understand that hitting and kicking is painful and unexceptable.They do need to learn right from worng like the rest of us do.

[Jadzia Dax]

Hi

My daughter can be very aggressive and I can end up with large bruises (I do get slightly anemic once a month which doesn't help but once GP found this I now take a supplement which helps). I was advised by her school to show her any injuries and use her no kick/pinch/bite (which ever applies) pecs card and we then progressed to getting her to 'say' sorry and stroke the injuried limb once she was calm. Not knowing the age or ability of your child it is difficult to advise on if it was too late to show your child the bruise later in the day but with my daughter I would remind her about the incident and show her what she did. It is easy to become a 'punch bag' for our children and to feel that because they 'can't help it' that we shouldn't make a fuss but they still need to learn that this sort of response is unacceptable.

Hope this helps

 

Jadzia

[mum23]

Thank you for you replies.

 

With regard to the bruising. I have Hypermobility syndrome and bruising more easily can be a symptom of that.

 

KarenA, I don't have nose bleeds or periods. I had early menopause so at the grand old age of 42 I don't get the monthly curse any more.

 

Hi Viper,

Slightly off topic here but, I found since my mid 30's I began to bruise much more lots of spontanice (sp?) bruising on legs especialy, my Doc told me this seems to be a problem with us HMS peps age makes our faulty collagen even more weak, typical ha! anyway my AS son also has HMS/EDS3 always covered in bruisis too, for the last few years now we have been telling him about how our bodies work and how he has to learn to be very careful not to brake himself and others! I am lucky that my son likes science. But he is nearly 13 and still has big ragges he trys so hard not to hit me and his sibs when he is angry and mostly takes himself off instead of hitting them, but in full blown ragges he still goes for us, even when he knows how much damage he does! He often gets upset that he has hurt someone but tells us when he blows he just can not think, he feels like he is a very bad person and wants so much not to be like this but he can not stop himself. Though he has learnt not to hit out so much and just take himself off, I see this as a good thing!

Anna