Let down by the education system

[Rose123]

I will let you know what has been going on with my son and school (Hes 13yrs)

 

I have always had problems with my son, from the moment he was born. But the professionals just put it down to being naughty.

 

At the age of 8 he got diagnosed with aspergers, with the help of the headteacher at the school (mainstream school). She referred him to the right people.

He then wwent from first school to a mainstream middle school.

They would not statement him as they said they did not have enough evidence to provide the lEA.

There was problems, especially with change but to a degree they managed him.

 

He was excluded for fixed days as punishment which made things worse when he came back.

Things got progressively worse in yr 6 and they said they could not trteat him any different as every child would expect to have special treatment, and they still would not put in for a statement.

 

He starts yr 7 and things went down hill from the start. After about 5 fixed term exclusions for his behaviour, btwm september 06 and November 06.

Which was clearly due to lack of understanding, lack of consistency/routine and no extra help.

Yeah i will admit he was throwing chairs, swearing and being very agressive but he does not know how to act when things get difficult. So he gets violent and agressive.

 

The end of sept 06 i put in for a statement myself.

In Nov 06 he got permantly excluded from mainstream school and stayed at home until Jan 07 and was put in a pupil referral unit which was only part time.

 

He found things really difficult and did get 3 fixed term exclusions for assaulting teachers, which was because a lack of understanding.

 

The teachers at the PRU could see the problems he was having and noticed the autism and really worked hard to accomodate him.

They managed to diffuse situations and he started to settle down.

 

The statement was agreed and i had to find a permanent school for him to attend in sept 07.

 

I had advise from CAMHS and i chose the school (there is not much a choice round here).

It is an EBD school and there is only about 5 / 6 in a class.

 

He got accepted and he was to start full time in sept 07.

 

They would not integrate him into the school, they gave him one day there in July and then expected him to go full time in sept.

 

It went wrong from the start. Every aspect of it was different. He could not get used to the change.

 

They were adament that he would do full time, and would not listen to me when i said it would not work.

After 2 weeks of him running away from school, abusing staff, destroying and barracading himself in classrooms, and lots more they cut his hours to 2 mornings and 2 afternoons a week and 1 day at home as that would be his worst day.

 

then after a meeting the hours were cut even more as it was still not working and very inconsistent. To 2 hours a day 4 days a week (same times).

 

There has been numerous meetings and things have changed ie that he does not walk out of school.

He has had 3 fixed term exclusions and when he is difficult they send him home early.

He is only doing 2 hours as it is. So at times he could only be at school for half hour or an hour.

When he does stay there he is never in class doing lessons as they cannot contain him. They are not consistent.

 

The other week he had been there half an hour wandering around and he was submissive and ajust kept saying , i want to go home. So they said go and do a little bit of PE and we will ring your taxi.

What is that teaching him?

 

That he can go home and get his own way!!!

 

I give up with this school. They have tried various things but they just dotn seem to want him there.

 

They have admitted that they cannot cope with him and do not have what he needs at that school, they have got other students to think about.

 

There is a big meeting coming up on 30th Jan regarding what to do .

 

I just want him out , but its were he will go as he is very intelligent and there is not much around...........

 

I am at the end of my tether with all of it ....

 

Thanks if you have read to here......... xx

[pearl]

What a rotten time you & your lad have been having.

I dont know what to advise you, but there are others here in similar situations who I'm sure will be able to. Its still a bit quiet at the mo post-Christmas.

[Kazzen161]

Would you consider a residential school? There are some good ones around.

[annie]

Hi Rose123,

 

So sorry that you are having such a rough time

 

My son was never able to cope being in school, he found it too stressful and started self-harming. Even with full time 1 to 1 support it wasn't working. It led to so many exclusions that we decided enough was enough and fight for an education package to meet his needs. We managed (after a six month battle) to get small group learning which was organised through the LEA's Home Tuition Service. The lessons were in group of about 5/6 kids with 2 teachers. The amount of actual learning was reduced to approx. 8 hours per week and each lesson was in a different location in my borough. Subjects were also reduced to English, Maths, Art, Science and IT but it worked really well . The teachers were wonderful and non-judgemental of my son's past history plus while he was there he didn't have 1 to 1 support. I wish we'd made the change years ago.

 

Anyway, that's just what worked for us. As Pearl and Kazzen161 have said, perhaps residential could be another option or home education. There are other options out there but unfortunately, LEAs don't like to tell parents what they are .

 

It would be a good idea if you haven't already, to give IPSEA a ring. It may take a while to get hold of them, but please keep trying. Their advice is excellent. We were lucky enough to have one of their reps fighting in our corner with us.

 

Annie

xx

[Rose123]

Hi there and thanks for the replies.

 

My views are that home education would not be an option as home is his safe place and that is how i would like to keep it , seperate from education. I dont want his routine to change.

I have thought about residential schools and i dont really want it to come to that. I dont think he will cope with it as he still occasionally sleeeps in bed with me. And when he is tired he is very clingy and cuddly and i think he needs that. And i do aswell as it is the only time he gets like that.

 

On the 30th January at the meeting, there is going to be progress as it cannot carry on like this.

I have got someone coming with me to support me, who knows quite alot of what has been going on.

 

I will keep you informed.

 

Thanks xx

[Suze]

Please go and look at some autism specific schools...............I,m sure if he had gone to a more understanding school this sept things could be different now.Hw is he at home does he behave like he does at school.ie the violence etc?Have camhs offered any help such as counselling for him?Best of luck with your meeting suzex.

[Karen A]

Rose <'> <'> Sorry you have had such a dreadful time.Parent Partnership may also be helpful although they do vary depending on where you live. Who has called the meeting in January and who will be attending ? Have you been told what the meeting is ? Is it an emergency review of the statement ? Karen.

[JsMum]

Hello, I know how bad it feels when you have been let down by the education system,

 

Js statement assessment makes me cry when I read it, totally isolated, rejected from group work, and doing work he couldnt even read, understand, interprit, and when the teacher saw he wasnt working he put it down to been defiant.

 

Its totally disgusting what has happened to your child, your son, it really is distrubing that the system can do this to children, the childrens families and the community on a whole, there is discrimination left right and centre in your post, and there is clues all the way throw with how the school wanted to play it, my feeling is that some children just cant cope with the enviorment of schools, and its clear that this is the case for your son, but whats also obvious is that it is totally crucial to get the management right to prevent the child becoming a satistic for mental health disorders too, on top of his AS, if he had been given the right enviroment and trained people, all of this could of been provented, why oh why didnt your son get a statement in the early days, its all political, I know the answer to that one now after crawling the muddy waters, but I came out smelling of roses when we got Js Statement after been told J wasnt bad enough, by the time it came he was one of the worse off children in his group, isolated and rejected by the age of eight, not a good feeling I know from the mother's point of view but what must it feel like to my son, a boy who cant express with words, only actions that just get negative responces and more punishments.

 

I would look at some spersific schools that caters for Autism/AS as well as comormids because of negligant early treatment from ed system.

 

I would defo read the IPSEA Site as there is more information on there too about disabilty discrimination where exclusions have occured because of a disability.

 

I know too how hard it would be to home educate, I too am afraid that we would not cope and now looking at special schools, J is already in a similair situation your sons early days, he has only been managing a couple of hours some days, good days a full day but high anxiety that spills into the early hours when he should be snoring the zzzs.

 

I would look into requesting an assessment for a Statement, you the parent can request this, if he is to attend a spersific school he will need a statement and in our area even EBDs school require a statement of SEN, I feel that some EBD schools just cant manage Autism, they dont understand, and they havent got the skills/expertise to help your son so a lot of it will be there just not managing him correctly which is why your son is fighting back so much which in some cases can be better to work with in the future in the right enviroment and the right staff with experience of Autism they can help your child.

 

With the right help, support your lad can have a really good future because to have survived the road he has been on with all the trauma it goes to show just what an amazing fighting spritit he has, and he has you on his side fighting all the way for him.

 

Just keep going and you will get there, the statement and the right school thats your sons and your choice, not the systems or anyone elses.

 

JsMum

Edited December 28, 2007 by JsMum

[ladykara]

Im so sorry to hear about your problems with the LEA and the schools. I am having the exact same problem as you, infact the only difference is that my son is 9. I have some meetings arranged in the new year, I am fighting to get my son out of his school, they said he was just naughty for 8 years and neglected to look into other reasons.. because of this my son has also spent 8 years without a proper education and i belive its made his condition worse. I wish you the best of luck.. keep fighting

[Rose123]

Hi there and thanks for all the advice you have given me.

 

My son does have a statement. And you are right an EBD school is not the best place for him. I was told that it was the best place but they just cant contain him. Yeah he may come across as having emotional and behaviour problems but that is because of the aspergers / adhd. Were as the children that attend there do have behaviour problems and need to be there. There is a difference. I wish i knew all this before he started and i would have made sure he did not go there.

 

The meeting on the 30th Jan is a JAT meeting or TAC meeting, whatever you want to call it.

There will be the ED Psych, Ed welfare officer, CAMHS, Deputy head, school outreach worker, worker from autistic society, my SW and myself present at the meeting.

 

It is to decide what is going to happen from here. As the school have admitted they cannot cope with him and do not have the provisions for him in that school.

 

I said to the deputy head what do i do in the mean time, as there is about 3 weeks after xmas hols before the meeting. Do we just carry on the way we are?

I told her the way i was feeling I didnt want to send him back to school in that time, but i would get in trouble for that.

She turned round to me and said no you wouldn't. But i am not prepared to jepordise anythin. I mean when it comes to talking about alternatives i dont want the LEA turning round and saying that i was the one that would not send him in to school for the 3 weeks. But the deputy head wants me to phone her on the 7th and let her know what my son and myself think about him going back in Jan. If i ask my son whether he wants to go back of course he is going to say no. He does not like it there.

 

I am not going to let them have something to hold over me by keeping him off. But it will not stop me being angry by it.

 

At home my son can be ok, if everythign is going smoothly and to routine. If things change or there is noise or my my daughter says or does somethign wrong, then all hell can break loose.

He can get violent and agressive and i do feel sorry for my daughter as she has to tread on eggshells around him.

 

She has alot to cope with and she has been on the wrong side of his temper too.

 

It is just so frustrating...........

[Kazzen161]

You should definitely go and visit some asd specific schools, including some residential ones. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you see - if nothing else, it will give you an idea of what it is possible for schools to do.

 

Although he is clingy - to a great extent that is because of the school issues - if he was in the right school, where they understood asd, then he would feel happier and more secure. It may be OK for him to be clingy now - but it won't be so good when he is 19.

 

Remember that the LEA can only offer what is available - they cannot magic up something that does not exist. Try to have some idea of what you want the LEA to do when you go to the meeting.

[JsMum]

Hi Rose

 

Sorry I missed the line where it states he has a statement so glad to read he has it, may be it needs a review with extra needs included.

 

As for the not wanting to send him back you could request this until the meeting on the grounds of authorised absence, an agreement of time off between you and the school, alternatively with the increasing symptoms you could request the GP sign him off sick until the meeting, that way the LEA WELFARE cant hold anything against you, the fact that the school have admitted that they can not meet his needs is evident that him returning is not in the best interests of your child.

 

I would see if something can be agreed where it is authorised.

 

J has missed a lot of time of school and none are unauthorised because in the past when they where the school (a previous school) used it against me so I do understand your judgement.

 

I would in the meeting express how your daughter is effected too, I am sure they know but express again and see if there is anything available to support her and they need to understand that this is effecting all members of the family.

 

JsMum

[JsMum]

As for the residential or day spersific schools they can also be independant schools, where the LEA have to pay the costs, its not want the LEA want you to be aware of but just incase down the road there is a superb school but independant/private then still look into it.

 

JsMum

[Rose123]

Thanks for the replies.

There is no other schools around here.

I said my son is clingy, well maybe i said that wrong. He likes to be in his own environment.

[Suze]

have you checked the NAS site for independent asd schools in your area, there is a link via the resources section on the forum.Please look at autism specific schools , if you have one you think suitable before the meeting it will give the lea something to think about .........what area are you in??

[Rose123]

I am in the Brighton area. I will have a look at the NAS website abit later when i have more time.

 

Thanks

[Kazzen161]

try

 

www.oaasis.co.uk

 

"Finding a SEN school" info sheet.

 

The NAS list does not include all schools - the info sheet gives other lists, including Gabbitas.

[Rose123]

Thanks for all your help.