Major disruption, aggression and distress again

[JsMum]

Last night J got very upset about returning back to school lots of crying, shouting, hitting out, tonight he got very angry and he needed restraining for his own safety he then went bizerk and really went for me, in the end I had to let him go where he barakaded himself in a room, eventually he calmed down but then proceeded to throw objects, hit out and scream and bang until he calmed down again, he is finally in bed, not asleep but in bed and I am off to bed myself to try and get him to stay in bed, I have a feeling its going to be one of those nights so wish me luck.

 

JsMum

[pearl]

<'> Jsmum <'>

Hopefully he's got most of it out of his system now.

Good luck.

[llisa32]

Hope he settles soon J's mum and that he feels calmer for tomorrow <'>

 

Good luck - hope you manage to get some rest <'>

[Clare63]

Poor J and poor you, its so distressing and heartbreaking, the stress and anxiety about going back to school obviuosly impacted badly on him. I hope he soon settles and that your night is peaceful.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[stressedmumto2]

Hi J's mum, I hope he's got it out of his system now and you can both get some rest tonight. I wish you luck and hope it all goes ok.

 

With regards to restraining, I know sometimes it really has to be done but I always found with T when I was doing it when it was really needed it would make the situation so much worse and he would fight more against me as he didn't like to be touched, which I think was partly related to his sensory difficulties - the SaLT who see's him in school has also mentioned how he flips if someone lightly touches him!! and the teachers try not to restrain him because it makes him worse. He went form being restrained 3 times a day to now maybe once a day, the most was 7 restraints in one day at school (which didn't help him one bit).

 

T is now to strong for me to restrain, he's a bag of nothing but far too strong, at school it usually takes 3 members of staff sometimes 4!! I don't know what the answer is except for trying to put him somewhere safe where he can't hurt or get hurt. I know the school try to put T in a quiet empty room as much as possible and I have asked for an adaption to be done on the home to help with this, but it's not looking likely we will get the help, the council have said they will move us to a bigger property but again that will be a waiting game.

 

Do you wonder if the restraining could make J feel more uncomfortable? I know you would only do this to help him and to keep him safe but I wonder if like T it could make him worse in a way that the anger builds up more so they then become more aggresive.

 

I think you are doing fantastic with J and if you go down the route of trying not to restrain him even though you are doing it to keep him safe you will find yourself like I do wondering what you can do instead.

 

I know you have said about the help you are getting with respite now, is J on the Child and Disability register? if he is this is the only way that I know of so far that adaptions can be done using the Disabled Facilities Grant (the child or adult has to be registerd disabled) one of the things you can have done on this scheme is a safe room where a child can be left alone, T wouldn't be left alone in one but it would prevent the rest of the house from taking a bashing when he is in meltdown as he would have his own safe space to retreat too and I wonder if this is something you could explore if J were registered disabled by s/s. The safe space room could also be used as a sensory room and considering J has a diagnosis of SDI it would be equally beneficial to him and you would get supporting letters from OT's etc.

 

my main concern with restraining is what do you do when they are like T and to strong to be restrained

 

good luck j's mum I hope you have a retsful night tonight, take care <'>

[LizC]

<'> <'> <'> Hi just wanted to say you are not alone. Matthew has been very much like your son alot lately. just the disruption with christmas etc, it really throws him out! he gets like this when he can't control or express his feelings. the night before going back to school was awful, he ended up in tears and wouldn't calm down. eventually we managed to get it out of him that he doesn't like it on the bus when everyone's talking as it anoys him!

[JsMum]

Hi and thankyou for the replies, well the night was long and by the time he was asleep the birds where singing their morning wake, he was up all throw the early hours, he was severly anxious and not at all settling, obvously this morning he was exhausted though he got up and came down he callasped on the chair and refused breakfast, got upset at the thought of getting dressed and refused to do anything, he had breakfast later and then played with his toys but as soon as you mentioned school he got distressed, he hasnt got dressed at all today and he has flitted from one activity to the other not really staying with anything for long, I have not had any further aggressive behaviour as I have been keeping it calm, last nights restraint was very briefe and was absaloutly nessasary, he was kicking me and punching me that I had no choice, he is the same size as me just about now and it was me obstructing his blows not nessasarily restraining him, but I did have to hold him at one point but as soon as I explained I would let go if he stopped he did and I let go instantly, he throw objects and at one point I was at risk of harm, I am looking further into restraint and I want to learn more conflict ideas and waiting for some more information.

 

Anyway he hasnt managed school, getting dressed and his behaviour is nicely simmering for this evening, so I am off to try and help calm things down again, thankyou for you ideas of the safe room and I am looking into that also.

 

At the moment J doesnt meet the criteria for the childrens disabilty team.

 

JsMum