All change, again

[Clare63]

Hi

 

Yesterday I posted how well our C.O.O.S mentor meeting went, how we planned a time table, how the mentor would help with Home ED etc etc.,

 

Now all change again, after just one day, have had calls from school saying they want Connor in tomorrow to see EP, he should be seing his mentor at this time. DS like a routnie and has to be able to trust people before he'll even look or speak to them, now all the plans have changed. Grrrrr

 

I know its important to see the EP re the statement process, but suely they should give us some notice, so I can prepare him. Anyway our kindly mentor has managed to get the EP to agree to see Connor at their offices so he won't have to go into school. Trouble is she would not commit to what he'd do or say and now I have one young lad totally stressed and anxious, he's its just so typical anything to do with school and they say one thing then do another. I have to agree with the poor lad trying to get his head around all this.

 

Just wanted a rant really

 

Clare x x x

[Karen A]

It is very very frustrating when school do not appreciate how stressful what is a small change of plan to them can be. <'> Karen.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

ooooh makes me mad when they dont get the first and most important bit

ROUTINE!!!!!!!!!!!

that is good the mentor helping,

and i suppose in their defence EP's are busy peeps

you just have to tell Connor that it should not be too stressful, and it is to help him in the end.

and i find if there is something i have to tell meggz, i keep going back every hour to get the info in, get growled at lots tho, but it does go in, and it can take time

and bribery helps too?

x

[Clare63]

Thanks Karen & Lya,

He's sort of forgotten about it now and has told me not to mention it as its ruining his evening and his life.....ever the drama Queen.

Any ideas what the EP will do with him ?

Clare x x x

[Flora]

Clare

 

There is absolutely no reason why the EP couldn't have come to see your son at home! When Bill was going through stat assessment the EP came to see him at home because he wasn't in school. It so happened that the home tutor was there when the EP visited.

 

If they particularly wanted to view how he is in the classroom then they wouldn't have agreed to see your son at the offices... you should ask if they mentor can still come to the house and let the EP come when she/he is there.

 

Hope it's not too late for you to challenge this arrangement if you want to.

 

Flora

[Karen A]

Hi Clare.When the EP saw Ben in the process of Statutary Assessment she had not seen him before.She did general intelligence tests and other tests to help establish what difficulties Ben had in which areas of learning and memory.She also included in the report her observations regarding how Ben coped emotionaly during the asessment....his frustration at points.

Ben was being assessed for AS and DCD.The assessment may well vary depending on DSs needs and what has been done by an EP before.

The EP may need to see DS a few times especially as he is finding things stressful.The EP saw Ben about 4 times in total.Karen.

[Bagpuss]

Hope it goes ok today Clare <'>

[Clare63]

Well its done and its over now.... I am exhausted and Connor came straight home and fell asleep on the sofa, as was up half the night fretting.

 

We went to the Child Services offices and were meet by the mentor who took us to a room the EP let me stay for the first part which Connor had to copy various patterns with coloured blocks. The EP said he'd like me to wait outside as the results are more accurate without a parent present. Connor was not happy and as I looked back was punching himself in the head typically I don't think the EP saw. Connor told me he did cry but no for long, they then did some maths tests and some spelling and the EP asked him questions about how he felt about school. I was then allowed back in. The EP ask me what I wanted and I told him I wanted my son to have an education in an environment where he felt safe and comfortable, that he needs support and programs of social, communciation and independance training, he needs his confident built and his self esteem improved. He told me he could see Connor going but to his original school (I am kicking myself coz I wish I asked why???) however it's his parents choice for a preference of school, I did mention I have seen the Priory (its private and very expensive, but other kids go there on a statement and the LEA pay) as I did not know of anyother ASD schools in our area. He suggest two I go and see which are state run, strangly one just up the road from me and I thoughy it only went to age 12 but in fact changed last sept to 16 yrs.

 

So really I am no further forward, though have now got his assessment under our belt, not totally convinced he was there with us IYKWIM and can't see how his report will support the statement, his main question was what are camhs doing to reduce Connor's anxiety, yet again the EA suggesting drugs/meds for my son when all he needs is some understanding and support

 

Not feeling so positive at the mo and can foresee a long long battle against us, but I am ready and I am willing and I am able

 

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

Clare x x x

[Stella63]

Hi Clare,

 

We're certainly fighting our battles at the moment aren't we?!!!

 

Upwards and onwards (is that the right expression?)

 

Thinking of you

 

Stella xx

[Flora]

You never know Clare the EP might just come through for your son.

 

I know when bill went through stat assessment last year I was dreading the EP assessment, because the one who came was the same one that had blocked my efforts to have Bill assessed two years previous and had told me 'if you go to tribunal you will lose'!!!!! When he came to do the assessment though he was actually quite apologetic (didn't actually say 'sorry' but I could just tell) and came up with a very good report for the statement. Not that it did us any good! We are still going to tribunal over the school placement... Hope you don't have to fight as hard as I've had to... it's been (and still is) a living nightmare and I keep having bad dreams about losing the tribunal etc... vivid ones!!!

 

Hope it goes smoothly for you clare and you can find and secure the right placement for your son.

 

Flora

[Clare63]

Hi Clare,

 

We're certainly fighting our battles at the moment aren't we?!!!

 

Upwards and onwards (is that the right expression?)

 

Thinking of you

 

Stella xx

 

 

Thanks Stella, I have been sorry to hear of your recent problems , its very kind of you at this difficult time to think of me too and its much appreciated.

 

I don't know how many more battle we'll have to fight, just so long as we win the war in the end.

 

Thinking of you also Stella and hoping the pending meeting goes in your favour.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[Clare63]

You never know Clare the EP might just come through for your son.

 

I know when bill went through stat assessment last year I was dreading the EP assessment, because the one who came was the same one that had blocked my efforts to have Bill assessed two years previous and had told me 'if you go to tribunal you will lose'!!!!! When he came to do the assessment though he was actually quite apologetic (didn't actually say 'sorry' but I could just tell) and came up with a very good report for the statement. Not that it did us any good! We are still going to tribunal over the school placement... Hope you don't have to fight as hard as I've had to... it's been (and still is) a living nightmare and I keep having bad dreams about losing the tribunal etc... vivid ones!!!

 

Hope it goes smoothly for you clare and you can find and secure the right placement for your son.

 

Flora

 

Thank you so much Flora for your kind words, I guess I won't know till I get the results but I just got the impressing he didn't think there was anything wrong with Connor, especially when he said he could see Connor returning to his old school.

 

I know how hard you have been fighting for your son and I feel for you, like you say its a living nightmare, never going away and still paramount in your mind when you sleep hence the bad dreams. I truly hope and pray that your suffering will soon be over and the tribunal will be won. personally I am so frustrated and appauled at all the fighting us parents have to do to get appropriate education for our children, its lives for goodness sake not a pot of money.

 

Clare x x x