hev Report post Posted February 4, 2008 katie is 4 and has got a couple of schoolfriends party this month,she looks foward to her dancing classes twice a week,has 2 best friends and loves school,im so pleased about this,its brilliant,then why has it made me sad about steve when he was 4?its now that the differences are so obvious,steve had none of the nice times at infants that kate is having and i find it sad but ive never found it sad before,it was just the way it was but now kates doing these things ive got a strange feelong,like im not used to things being good,does that make sense? its not even that steve was an unhappy boy,he was a mischevious little thing who found things hilarious,has anyone else had these feelings or is it me just being me feeling maudling? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 4, 2008 I know exactly what you mean, hun <'> Bidx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 4, 2008 its not even that steve was an unhappy boy,he was a mischevious little thing who found things hilarious, That's the bit that matters, hen <'> I do know exactly what you're saying (even though I'm only a 'one time dad'), and have exacly the same feelings sometimes, but the important thing to remember is that it's your perception, not Stevie's. Happiness comes in some funny shaped packages, and if he was/is laughing, obviously the post was/is getting through L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted February 4, 2008 Hev, I know exactly how you feel....we are having a bad time right now with El, I feel as though we have gone back in time, to a really bad place. Romy was invited to a party a couple of weeks ago and it is actually taking place right now. We have had a dreadful weekend full of El weeping, screaming,meltdowns, not eating and dragging a blanket around everywhere and barely any sleep! Today I have kept El at home and Ro only went into nursery after lunch as her sleep is also affected, I was planning on letting her miss the party (it is at a fun factory type thing on the banks of the River Mersey),as I was worried El would attract sympathisers and the usual stares....I can do without them right now! But I then decided I can't let El's SN's always rule us and I have let her go with her classmate and her Mum, it's the first time I've let a non relative take her anywhere without me or DH and I am nervous as anything but I can't let her miss out....I am fed up of having to miss out socially! I love him so much, but sometimes I feel like screaming and I crave a little 'normality'...I hate how ASD rules us! I know he can't help it, but why is everything so hard?! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted February 4, 2008 (edited) Hev, Sorry for my rant above on your thread! We have been stuck in the house since Friday and I am just a bit fraught! Lisa xx Edited February 4, 2008 by ellisisamazing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted February 4, 2008 Hi My mum keeps saying that it's me that suffers far more than kiddo (I have a 6 year old AS son). I think she's hit the nail on the head there. He seems absolutely oblivious to the mayhem, upset, frustration, sadness, etc that he causes and the effect that it has on others. In some ways I'm glad about that, particularly when it comes to bullying, etc in that I hope he won't feel hurt (who knows!?). Guess what I'm saying is that I'm sure Steve has never for a minute felt like he's lost out or felt particularly unhappy by not undertaking the types of activities eg clubs, etc that NT kids like. That's how our kids are and I'm sure they're happy in their own way doing things that they feel comfortable with. Best wishes. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted February 4, 2008 Hi My mum keeps saying that it's me that suffers far more than kiddo (I have a 6 year old AS son). I think she's hit the nail on the head there. He seems absolutely oblivious to the mayhem, upset, frustration, sadness, etc that he causes and the effect that it has on others. In some ways I'm glad about that, particularly when it comes to bullying, etc in that I hope he won't feel hurt (who knows!?). Guess what I'm saying is that I'm sure Steve has never for a minute felt like he's lost out or felt particularly unhappy by not undertaking the types of activities eg clubs, etc that NT kids like. That's how our kids are and I'm sure they're happy in their own way doing things that they feel comfortable with. Best wishes. Caroline. Yep, that's exactly what I mean, but couldn't say so eloquently! I am probably gonna have a meltdown of my own tonight....Hubby better run for cover! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lya of the Nox Report post Posted February 4, 2008 glad it all plodding nicely xxxxx <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted February 4, 2008 Yes Hev, can totally relate to what you are saying. When M used to be invited to parties, it used to fill me with total dread. Whereas his little sister is 4.5 yrs old and it is a totally different experience. Take care forbsay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
