Self harming at school

[Tez]

I would like your views on what you can reasonably expect a teacher to notice during their lesson.

 

My son goes to a large Comprehensive school and so is taught by many different teachers, so many do not know him very well. He is very quiet and does not cause any disruption during lessons. He has an IEP which should make his teachers aware that he is a vulnerable pupil and that they need to watch him closely.

 

On Thursday he continuously stabbed his hand with a pen during a lesson at school, he continued until it bled. Other pupils in the class noticed and tried to stop him but the teacher did not.

 

The Deputy Head tells me that he finds it all very frustrating, all teachers are reminded every week that my son needs close supervision because he is an extremely vulnerable pupil and he cannot excuse them missing this. However, this does not solve the problem. A 1 to 1 aide in the classroom would not help because marking him out as different would make him too anxious and cause him to shutdown.

 

Do you think it is reasonable to expect teachers to be a bit more vigilant or do you have any ideas on how to solve the problem?

[oracle]

No I do not think you are being unreasonable at all. Your son is obviously distressed and if the other kids notice how come the teacher does not? They should at least realise that there is something going on in their classroom even if it's not the fact that your son is self harming. The fact that other pupils were trying to stop your son should of been noticed in itself.

 

When Matthew was is school and when I was COE at the school, in the staff room there was a notice board where photographs of pupils with 'special needs' were are on display. There were children who were diabetic and children who had convulsions etc etc. I thought it was an excellent idea because even if these children were not in your class - you were being made aware that there may be a problem. I have no idea if this is replicated in other staff rooms - but maybe it should be?

 

ALL teachers who have your son should be made aware of his condition and keep an eye out. Of course this is probably asking too much in the real world

 

Carole

[Helen]

A 1 to 1 aide in the classroom would not help because marking him out as different would make him too anxious and cause him to shutdown.

Hello Tez,

 

I can understand the LSA's reason for not intervening directly with your son due to his fragile disposition, however, this does not excuse her grossly poor attitude in not bringing this to the teacher's attention - the LSA should have spoken with the teacher immediately for the teacher to help your son.

 

I totally agree with Carole when she said that all teachers ought to have been made aware of your son's condition.

 

Where was this teacher, that she didn't notice what your son was doing to himself?????

 

I don't know if you'd want to complain to the headteacher about this matter, but would you consider asking for some answers as to why your son was permitted to continue self-harming on the school premises?

 

... a shocking lack of understanding!!!!

Edited February 27, 2005 by Helen

[LittleRae]

Hi

 

That's a dreadful thing to happen. You are right to be upset by it. Don't know if it would help at all to put an aide in the class but not label her as specifically for him. If he copes for the most part, just someone who would help out when needed might work.

 

My ds shares an assistant with another child although he doesn't actuallyknow this, as he would freak out if he thought she was there to help him. He often comes home however, saying that B's assistant wrote his homework in the diary for him or that B's assistant helped him pack his bag!

 

Works for us!

 

A

[nellie]

Tez

 

I agree this is a terrible thing to have happened. I think it is most important that a strategy is found to cope with this if it happens again. You could ask for a meeting to discuss how this should be handled in future and ask for an assurance that it will never be ignored again. Your input is crucial, you know your son better than anyone. You should decide if your son is brought in to the discussion.

 

Finding a strategy might be difficult, diverting your sons attention to something else, allowing him to leave the classroom to go to a safe place in times of stress, giving him something to de-stress him - listening to music, having something tactile to hold.

 

I hope you find a solution Tez, it must be a huge worry for you.

 

Let us know what happens

 

Nellie xx

[Tez]

Thanks for the input.

 

The school have told me that they will investigate the whole incident and get back to me. They are also going to try and find out whether there is anything happening in school that is making him anxious - they think there might be.

 

I phoned his Psychiatrist at CAHMS and she has given me an appointment for Monday. She says that she thinks that mainstream schooling might not be suitable for him but doesn't want to rush to any conclusions before seeing him and assessing him fully.

 

Thanks Nellie for your suggestions. He does have a toilet pass to get out of the class without hassle but refuses to use it. He used to have feely objects such as cotton wool, pebbles, elastic bands in his pockets to calm him but said they no longer work. I suggested that if he needs to feel pain he puts an elastic band around his wrist and ping it, but he said that he doesn't like stings, so will have to keep on thinking. Any suggestions from anyone else welcome.