school! Hes missing out

[lisa35]

Our 12 yr old son ( we re convinced is aspergers) is having tough time at school, we re waiting reass by CAHMS

He s been disruptive at school, and getting sent out of lessons, at times for entire lesson, we feel hes not receiving adequate education at mo

approx a amonth ago we saw head senco and she agreed with probable asp and suggested several strategies, however, she s now off sick, and things getting worse

Hes being bullied, and increasingly unhappy, school are adressing bullying, a child was excluded last week for assaulting him

But teachers dont seem to have a clue, thye just think he s stupid and naugty, but its the environemnt

He doesnt understand what they want him to do, we vew written to year head, asking for meeting, and wan to see copies of school repots, we also have some suggestions we think will work

He s also waiting for ed pyschologist

Not sure how pushy we should be, it may be that if things dont change, we may have to go for statement, any one got any advice/1

tHANKS

also, lot of negative comments in his school diary, "should learn to listn,etc! We did write to one teacher and shes responded really well, maybe we need her to wave fairy dust over rest!

[Kazzen161]

In my experience, nothing will happen if you are not pushy (or proactive as I like to call it!).

 

When my child started in Yr 7, I did a letter to each of his teachers, telling them about R and the likely problems he would have in their particular subject. It did seem to help. I kept it to one side of A4.

[Clare63]

The poor boy, sounds like he is really struggling and unhappy. You could insist on a meeting asap and ask for the head of year and the stand in/or no2 SENCO to be present, this can't and should not continue. I don't think you are being pushy, just a parent who really cares about their child's wellbeing, happiness and education.

 

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Clare x x x x

[sueeltringham]

So sorry to hear about all your son's problems with school.

 

I cannot stress enough -you have got to be incredibly pushy. Not aggressive, but assertive and insist on a meeting asap as Clare suggests. Head of year, SEN representative, plus maybe any outside agencies (EP?). Ask that he be placed on the SEN register if not already (Probably SA+ if other agencies have been called in). Ask that an IEP be written. Document everything, take someone to that meeting with you for support and write everything you want to say down and give everyone a copy. I'm also a teacher and know too well that most teachers tend to take notice of 'those who shout the loudest'. It's an incredibly busy, stressful job with demands from everyone and most teachers will probably be quite receptive of help and suggestions. Unfortunately most teachers have no training to help them deal with children with ASD so your son is probably very misunderstood, unless the SEN person has already given advice. Hope you get something sorted soon.

 

sue

[JsMum]

write down all your concerns and your statagies you think will work for your child in a mainstream setting, if however you feel that the problem is the mainstream setting then no amount of stratagies are going to work, you must get the right enviroment first before any thing can be used.

 

Then when you have written it out address it to your councils Manager of Special Educational Needs section/department, has he got a Statement, if not ask for provisions for Special needs, School Action plus, as your already has outside agencies involved and if things dont improve then in September request an assessment of SEN.

 

he does not need a diagnosis, if they suggest they wait for the diagnosis, all he needs is his problems identifying and addressing in a IEP and targets to meet.

 

It is good they are addressing the bullying, so it does sound like they do have good policies but they need to colaberate with all the teaching staff that are teaching your son that they need to be aware that his behaviour and disruptive signs are down to Special needs, and they will need to provide step by step instructions and extra time to process, and this needs to happen ASAP.

 

I would be very very pushy, especially now adays where they are leaving children longer and longer to get worse and worse, so do something now.

 

Also copy the letter to those that are diagnosing your son and also his GP so there is evidence that your son is having difficulties in school now.

 

JsMum

[justamum]

I agree with every one PUSH, you will become unpopular with the teachers but if you sit back they will do nothing.

 

As for the teachers not having a clue, they flaming well do but often don't want a child that doesn't fit in the box in their classroom so they BULLY them.

 

Tell them it is clear he has difficulties and this is NOT being addressed by punishment and exclusion from the classroom. They need to be more flexible with their teaching, he requires an individual education programme (IEP). Diagnoses is in material, it is the difficulties that need addressing not the label!

 

You may be lucky and get some where, but from my experience it's very hard work and often with no results...I now home educate as my lad was bullied by his teacher in this way and in other ways.

 

But be aware you will be told you are not co-operating, you are being obstructive, you are not doing what's best for your child, you are emotionally hindering, you are encouraging the naughty behaviour etc. There will be hints about you not parenting your child effectively, and your parenting skills will be questioned.

 

Balderdash!

 

They will just be trying to make you fell bad and inadequate and bullying you!

Stand firm and be pushy!

[Karen A]

Hi Lisa.There is a lot of good advice here and I do not have a lot to add.In my personal experience the only way to get action from the school is to be a pushy parent.It is very sad but at the present time individuals need to be forceful to be noticed.

I hope you are able to get some approriate support.Karen.

Edited February 8, 2008 by Karen A
Word change

[lisa35]

Hi Lisa.There is a lot of good advice here and I do not have a lot to add.In my personal experience the only way to get action from the school is to be a pushy parent.It is very sad but at the present time individuals need to be forceful to be noticed.

I hope you are able to get some approriate support.Karen.

Thanks all, THE GLOVES ARE ON!!

we cant dally about anymore, we ve got to him almost 12 and no concrete diagnosis

Ive written a letter to school, year head phoned this am, we ve got a meeting first monday back. I have a list of strategies that we believe will work, Ive done a summary of his needs, and will insist it is given to every teacher. they are also doing a time out card in interim

School have also spoken to CAHMS today, and impressed need for urgent review, CAHMS are going to make him a priority

Im keeping copies of everything, and a diary, we will not fail our fantastic lad

Its the system that needs to change, not necessarily that the teachers are inedequate

ASD should be included in teacher training,I presume that thhen if the strategies dont improve things we ll begin to look at statement

Thank you all, you re brill!!!!

ps Ive found a brill link that can be typed for teachers, dont have it now, but will lokk later!