nick and the doors

[hev]

right nick is going on and on about the holes in the doors which steven done

hes not going on about it to steven which is good but my god whats done is done he wants to get new doors next week but until steve controls his anger whats the point,nicks theory is that once steve sees the new doors he wont punch them any more

i know it looks terrible when people com in here,everything else is lovely but the doors but i dont see what can be done at moment

if he goes on about the doors one moe time he will be going out of my front door

[Tally]

nicks theory is that once steve sees the new doors he wont punch them any more

I'm not sure it would be that simple. There's obviously something making Steven angry. You could replace all your doors with solid doors, but Steven would still get angry and punch things.

 

What about getting him a punch bag or something, that way he has a safe way to deal with his anger.

 

Exercise is also a good way to deal with anger. I know you had a good weekend when you took him swimming. Maybe you could do more of that, especially during the holidays.

 

Are his school having the same problems with him punching things? What solutions have they found?

 

You could always let Nick replace ONE door, and see how Steven gets on.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

does he know what makes him angry

can you see what it is

we have doors with holes, they have been like it for years

 

they will be replaced when decorating is done

i wonder if nick has more things going on in his head than just the doors

tc

x

[Stella63]

Hi hev,

 

I have the same problem with my dh, he wants to get all the holes in the walls filled in redecorate to cover up all the scorch marks in the ceiling but I can't see the point. It doesn't solve the problem, just a waste of time, effort and money because AJ has no respect for property and will just carry on. I am hoping that now he is on Strattera his anger management will improve but its early days yet.

 

Stella xx

[baddad]

Hi Hev

 

Totally agree with the rest that replacing doors at this point is a wee bit optimistic... If it really is bothering Nick, perhaps you could fill them and paper & paint over the top? It won't look great, but would be a good compromise...

 

Don't be too hacked off a nick going on about it - he has to have somewhere to offload his frustration too. You've got us, and Stevie girl etc - but Nick probably has fewer options

 

L&P

 

BD

[JsMum]

I have had to replace windows and had doors fixed when J smashed them and I must addmitt it did make a lot of difference having them repaired and not having a constant memory which seeing broken furtniture does kind of bring it all back, Steve only has to live it when home at week ends but Nick will have it constantly reminding him.

 

A punchbag in as many rooms as possible would be really good the free standing ones are the best and we got ours from a martial arts store I can pm you the website.

 

Is steve into BOXING, TYKWONDO this could be a new sport to use to bring in some disaplin into anger management and self control might be worth a try.

 

Anger management workbook that we are working on at the moment is called starving the Anger Gremlin.

 

Bild do courses for confrontational and conflict situations that Nick may want to look into to help him understanding what is happeneing when Steve is angry and smashing up his home.

 

I would look at some visual sheets of a list of what Steve can do when he is angry, even if its gone passed punching the doors its never too late to start the process of managing anger, even if its the last few phases of what happens with anger.

 

 

We are looking into reading faces and understanding other peoples feelings and reactions, maybe steve likes the doors to have holes in them as it gives a sign just what he will do if someone upsets him so I think that maybe why having a strong reinforcer must go to starve the anger signals.

 

A replacement of hard solid doors may be definatley be considered.

 

but what needs urgent action is management in anger management for Steve.

 

JsMum

Edited February 24, 2008 by JsMum

[JsMum]

Another thought was to take out the doors that need repairing and have nothing there at all if this could be practical.

 

?

 

JsMum

[pearl]

Like others have said, we found a punchbag helpful, N*xt do one for about �30 which doesnt take up too much room, he still gives it a good thrashing when its too wet to go out.