parents evening

[Erika]

Can anyone tell me where i possibly stand with regards to my four and a halfs primary school. My son has Aspergers syndrome and goes to school every day for about one and a half hours, many an incident have made me come to the sudden realisation that schooling and autism are going to be a battle.

cut a long story short abaout 4 weeks ago i contacted the school as i wanted to see all written documentation regarding my son, which they did, not from the heart you understand, but they did. The meeting had nothing to do with my childs work i only wanted to see documentation regarding any incidents that may have occured and them conveniently forgeting to inform me of. Iwas right to have those concerns there where so many, me? left like a mushroom in the dark, i am so shocked but have come to the harsh understanding nothing surprises me anymore.

 

my friend picked my son up the other day as i was working to be greeted with "can you tell Lukas mum not to bother coming to the parents evening tomorrow night as we have had a meeting recently and have covered what needs to be covered there"

 

now excuse my lack of understanding here but is a parents evening about having a look at the work my son is doing so far, discussing various points relating to his schooling? is this not a seperate issue from the meeting i had with them a few weeks ago?

 

i feel not only is my son excluded here but now so am i as the mother of!

 

can anyone suggest to me the next course of action to take as i am still in the process of picking my chin up off the floor.

thanks would appreciate your views!

[Bard]

Is it an appointments evening, or open house?

Either way, tell them you're coming!

They might as well learn early on the sort of parent you are, and that nothing will slip by you. It will encourage them to stay focused and remember your son's needs...and that he has backup!

Edited March 3, 2008 by Bard

[justamum]

erm parents evening is an open invitation (with times) for all parents to discuss their child and progress. The only reason I can see why they don't want you there is because they feel you 'may let the cat out of the bag' so to speak. I would insist on you going and have an appointment and if they still refuse contact the LEA and forward a complaint of non communication with the school...they can not refuse a parent entering the school on legitimate grounds.

 

I have the opposite problem, I don't want to go to he parent evening as it will be pointless for various reasons and the school keep making appointments for me

 

eddited to say...take a witness, because if they are 'starting' this early on you want to be covered.

Edited March 3, 2008 by justamum

[Erika]

Is it an appointments evening, or open house?

Either way, tell them you're coming!

They might as well learn early on the sort of parent you are, and that nothing will slip by you. It will encourage them to stay focused and remember your son's needs...and that he has backup!

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I can see why perhaps they may think that as you had a recent meeting that everything had been covered. But, I can also see your point of view also - it's another opportunity to discuss your child's progress, perhaps covering anything that may have been missed. I'd give them a call and tell them you wish to be included in parents evening. Also, speaking with teachers can be interesting. I've found that occasionally they're more inclined to open up - seems there's some kind of 'gagging order' during review meetings.

 

Not keeping you informed of incidents isn't acceptable. I insisted that school (I was frogmarched into the HTs office during my son's first HOUR - I didn't take kindly to her threatening suspension given short time/she seemed to simply write him off!) filled out a diary on a daily basis so that things could be logged. I'm fully aware that not everything is logged and that my son's LA fills out what he's had for lunch rather than what's happened that day, but nevertheless ... Could this be an option?

 

You're a mum and you want the best for your child, which includes being kept informed and being involved (not excluded). Stick to your guns.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[puffin]

I have had this once - I later found out that part of the evening had been a group session where the teachers had allowed other parents to discuss M! I would never miss another.....

[bjkmummy]

hi,

 

i know the school you are talking about - my four year old due to start there in spetember and i am so worried for him. we are already on school action plus but no formal diagnosis yet but ed psych due to see him asap

 

the parents evening was just the usual parents evening - my friend went toher daughters so you should have had every opportunity to go - i would go and talk to the school about it

 

i do know you so if you want to pm any time feel free to do so

[Bard]

erm parents evening is an open invitation (with times) for all parents to discuss their child and progress.

 

 

I'm a primary teacher, and we have different sorts of parents' evenings. Some are 10 min appointments, back to back like at the doctor's.

Others are a wander around the classrooms, an opportunity to look at your child's books and the work on display in the classroom and informal meet the teacher.

If I'm seeing 15 sets of parents at 10 minute intervals, I wouldn't be able to see someone who turned up 'on spec' without an appointment.

[Annea]

I think you must have a right to be seen at parents evening.... at our 7 min appointment parents evening <yep 7 minutes LOL> the teachers also put up the childrens work and special displays so we would miss this if given an appontment at a set time away from this evening. I also think it an excellent opportunity to meet other parents and get feedback.

 

I am often told I am the only one with certain isssues etc only to find out that their are 4 of us with the same issues.....

 

Surely not allowing you at parents evening could be classed as discrimination. Yes they may have seen you recently, and yes your child may take up more than an allotted 10, 7 or 5 min slot or whatever... but hey maybe you would just like to be there to see your sons work and to discuss him some more! AND how unprofessional telling your friend to pass on the message. I would expect a letter!

 

 

Did you go to Parents evening in the end??

 

Anne x

[Erika]

it was a parents evening, that was enough for me, even if the teacher did not have time "spec" to talk to me did not matter, i was excluded from that and that speaks volumes about the system and the school my son is in.

yes i could have gone along regardless, part of me wanted to but knowing myself as i do it's a good thing i didn't as she would have got a piece of my mind.

Edited March 14, 2008 by Erika