Online Insanity

[TheNeil]

In my absence I've been working on a new book. However given that I make practically nothing from them I've opted to turn it into a web site and make it available for free. So, as this doesn't upset forum rules, anybody who wants to have a peek into the inner workings of my diseased head can do by looking here.

 

"What is it though?" I hear the proletariat asking. Well it's a guide to the modern world, a kind of online encyclopedia that explains what everything in the entire universe is and how it works. Enjoy.

Edited April 1, 2008 by TheNeil

[Mumble]

:lol: :lol: - and that's only the 'about' page.

 

Do your employers know what you're doing all day??!!

 

I couldn't find an entry under 'B' for Brick? - now surely you have something to say on that subject??

[Bagpuss]

"What is it though?" I hear the proletariat asking.

 

 

What's a prolewhosit and am I one?

 

Where have you been....I've missed you and Em...........and how come you both weren't at the meet up? Cliff was there

[TheNeil]

Do your employers know what you're doing all day??!!

Yes...sit quietly in the corner doing everything they ask (oh magnificent overlords for whom I have the utmost respect)

 

Can I help it if half my brain gets bored and goes off and writes 70,000 words of rubbish while the other half writes code?

[TheNeil]

What's a prolewhosit and am I one?

 

Where have you been....I've missed you and Em...........and how come you both weren't at the meet up? Cliff was there

Don't worry about prolewhosits (they're not deadly if you get the correct medical attention quickly).

 

Em and me (or should that be 'Em and I') have been flat out busy with 1,000,001 things. So busy that we've barely had time to visit the site, never mind annoy the staff in pseudo-Italian restaurants in Geordie-land (which is a shame. I miss annoying people )

[Mumble]

What are P, N, B and C in your algebraic equation? (just checking it works ... )

[TheNeil]

What are P, N, B and C in your algebraic equation? (just checking it works ... )

I've checked with the mathematics editors and they've me informed that:

 

P = Probability of confusion (expressed as a co-efficient of delta X with relation to the movement of an object Z (expressed as velocity in the direction sqrt(-1)))

N = Number of brain cells

B = Number of busses in Dudley high street

C = CO2 emmissions from the United Arab Emirates

 

I can't believe that you're struggling with basic algebra Mumble

[Mumble]

Hurrah!! You got 'compass' and 'a pair of compasses' correct! Gawd I've p'ed off people/innocent children correcting them on that one (and providing them with exactly what they have asked for - even funnier when they actually take the compass then try to draw a circle with it - oh - yeah, on circles having one side ..... )

 

Coffin - :lol:

 

Seriously, I need to do some work - I'm only on the 'C's. I hope that 'P' contains procrastination.

 

*Goes back to input variables into equation* - and no, I'm not struggling with basic algebra, I'm struggling with the imbecile who seems to want me to waste my day and doesn't provide definition of his variables ...

[baddad]

So, as this doesn't upset forum rules, anybody who wants to have a peek into the inner workings of my diseased head can do by looking here.

 

Hi Neil - Nope, as long as the site isn't flogging anything (apart from dead horses, which get's complaints from the animal welfare league but doesn't actually breach forum rules!) that's fine!

Congrats on the site - it looks good fun - and welcome back to the forum. Hope 'busy, busy, busy' was good busy and not the other sort of busy

 

BD

[TheNeil]

*Goes back to input variables into equation* - and no, I'm not struggling with basic algebra, I'm struggling with the imbecile who seems to want me to waste my day and doesn't provide definition of his variables ...

These are basics of mathematics though and I can't believe that you didn't know that, for example, 'B' was the number of buses on Dudley high street.

 

We were taught this stuff on day one

 

I also resent the use of the word 'imbecile' (I much prefer 'idiot', 'simpleton' or a simple 'fool' )

[TheNeil]

Hope 'busy, busy, busy' was good busy and not the other sort of busy

A bit of both...but that's called 'life'

[baddad]

These are basics of mathematics though and I can't believe that you didn't know that, for example, 'B' was the number of buses on Dudley high street.

 

)

Well, the words "pot" and "kettle" come to mind when you're making such basic spelling mistakes... that should surely be 'The nomber of bosses on Doddley Hoi Street'?

[TheNeil]

Well, the words "pot" and "kettle" come to mind when you're making such basic spelling mistakes... that should surely be 'The nomber of bosses on Doddley Hoi Street'?

Despite Emily being a Brummie (and trying to corrupt me with her 'tara ferabit's), I refuse to give up speaking the Queen's English (hence the translation from Brummie to English - it's only fair for the non-Brummie speakers in the world)

[Mumble]

(and trying to corrupt me with her 'tara ferabit's)

Tiaras for rabbits? :robbie: I've seen some bizarre things in the pet department of <<big London department store where posh people shop>>, but that's just mad (imbecileish, some would say ). What next? A pet tiara fashion show on the Breakfast 'News' (with their Essex special correspondent)?

[baddad]

Cats wear tiaras too - but only the queens

Lady rabbits will do anything for a buck - (Doh! apologies for that - it's an old Kenny Leverett joke) - but usually end up with jack to show for it ...

[smiley]

TN!!!!!

 

I should have been doing something important like find the floor in my little boys bedroom - or washing up the plates, left abandoned since breakfast.

 

I absolutely should not have had two cups of tea and half a easter egg in the space of 30 minutes.

 

It's allllll your fault.

 

Ta Muchly

[hev]

argos

[KateBall]

"Pensioner" - too close to home but very funny

[hev]

javelin

[pearl]

I've bookmarked it - I only read the A's, best laugh I've had in ages

Allo Allo

[TheNeil]

Of course if anyone seems to think that anything's missing then I can pass suggestions onto the editorial team...

 

(and who says that Aspies don't have a sen of humour? )

[Mumble]

(and who says that Aspies don't have a sen of humour? )

Hmm, yes, I was going to pull you up on that one when I spluttered tea everywhere for the umpteenth (what sort of magnitude does that word have? ) time reading your guide and kidding myself that because I was sitting in front of the computer I was doing work - oh yeah, a bit like now ... - you seem to have completely forgotten the ten 'thou shalt not' commandments of being AS: alongside having to wear cords and a tank top (orange, I seem to recall ) you are definitely not allowed a sense of humour. :shame:

[David Matthew Baker]

You should really add Aardman under the A's I'd love to see what your definition would be.

 

It is fun. I agree with the others. Might show it to some of the staff at school and see what they make of it. Or perhaps see if some more Aspies have a sense of humour.

 

 

For fun here is my take on Aardman (though I'm sure you can do better):

 

Aardman - A 'hard man' for those who speak proper. The person sent after you when the evil geniouses henchmen, (in particular you should look out for: frogs; penguins, disguised as chickens; and giant were-rabbits) fail to complete their set task, namely to beat you up or kill you. Then a tough as nails Aardman will be sent after you. I've heard that tools of the trade include plastercine (who knows for what dastardly use), stop motion generators (to slow down your movement ) and computer special effects (for added punch).

 

 

You also aren't bang upto date with Challenge Anneka. It did have those 2 shows recenty that I thought was meant to be part of a new series. 1 helping build something in an area struck by the tsunami and the other where she organised the production of a CD for that childrens charity, I think associated with rainbows. If you've managed to follow that you've done better than I have.

 

BTW I particularly like your windows one. Had Vista show that it hasn't grown out of the habit of its family yesterday.

 

Another definition for you:

 

RAID - Something not to let 'David' play with. Otherwise he will decide that a 6 disc splitting array is a good idea. So far it is still stable but there is no parity or backup. Hence when it fails it will do so in style. Betting is now open for how long this will take. Please add into the equation that the PC is running Vista. Total disc space is over a terrabyte. Which means plenty of room to fill with junk to slow down the PC. It does however mean that hard drive access time is not the bottle neck in the system, the CPU speed is.

[Mumble]

giant were-rabbits

If they were rabbits, what are they now?

[David Matthew Baker]

If they were rabbits, what are they now?

 

Think of a werewolf which is a person who under certain conditions turns into a wolf. In this case I was making fun of one of the Wallace and Gromit films. Where wallace changes into a rabbit (Called Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit). See here for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_&...the_Were-Rabbit

[Mumble]

In this case I was making fun of one of the Wallace and Gromit films. Where wallace changes into a rabbit (Called Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit).

Hmm, when did I become so good at word-play that no-one realised what I was doing? I knew exactly what you were referring to David, I was just playing on the words - sorry!

 

If I'm going to take you to task on anything, it would be on making fun of Wallace and Gromit - no the film wasn't great but the claymation of the short films (esp. A Grand Day Out - watch those mice when the rocket takes off) is fantastic.

[David Matthew Baker]

Hmm, when did I become so good at word-play that no-one realised what I was doing? I knew exactly what you were referring to David, I was just playing on the words - sorry!

 

If I'm going to take you to task on anything, it would be on making fun of Wallace and Gromit - no the film wasn't great but the claymation of the short films (esp. A Grand Day Out - watch those mice when the rocket takes off) is fantastic.

 

I think word play is easy on a forum as you can't read the person who is doing it. That said I keep falling for ones at school at the moment so it may just be I'm not very good at reading it. That's more from the staff than students but one of the students in particular has decided it is fun to make fun of me. Apparently he only does it with people he likes. He's lucky I happen to like his group too. Then there isn't much not to like when it is 3 students doing GCSEs who don't give me much bother. Only occasionally have problems with one who has a very short fuse who other students love winding up for that reason. I'm pleased to say he does seem to be learning how best to combat it though. By reporting it to members of staff. Unfortunatally sometimes he doesn't remember until I've grabbed him to stop he running and attacking them. He tends to come off worse in that case too. Just wish I knew what more I could do to try and avoid the problems in the first place. Luckily he likes me and tends to listen to what I have to say and respects my advice. Boy am I getting way off topic again. Also off topic you'll be glad to hear I've been doing some training. Nothing long yet but still have next week too. I do enjoy walking.