Just a bit of a rant - sorry!

[MichelleW]

I don't often have a rant - but I've calmed down a bit now! I had an horrendous afternoon, but it has been getting progressively worse over last couple of weeks.

 

So, on the way to get DS1 from school:

 

Couldn't get DS2 into pushchair. couldn't get him to walk. ended up having to carry him again - kicking, screaming, punching, and gouging chunks out of my hands! Got to school and asked DS2's's teacher if I could park by the disabled space (not in it) and she said I'd have to ask head teacher. So off I went to see if I could see head teacher. by this time DS1 had no shoes or socks on and was laying in corridor screaming and not moving.

 

One teacher said to me " oh, is this a future pupil we have here" to which I said "no - actually he has a place at ********" (special school) Just to highlight the fact that he isn't just being naughty (though he could be!)

 

Then I bump into Head teacher and family liason/welfare lady and ask about parking by the disabled space and he said "oh no - that is for disabled children - we have a child in a wheelchair that uses that space" so I said I didn't want to park in the space just further up where other cars park - he said "no- that will encorouge other parents to park there" so I said that both mine were registered disabled and I get DLA for them and that they are just as disabled as a wheel chair user!

 

In fact, a parent could push a wheelchair with a kid in further than I can push (or carry) DS2. A wheel chair bound child is safe in it's chair - DS2 has the potential to run in to road.

 

So in then end they agreed that I could collect DS1 10-15 mins later and use the disabled space after all the other cars have gone. And a member of staff will keep hold of DS1 till I get there. Hopefully me picking DS1 up a bit later, and him not coming out with the other kids won't upset him too much. But I just can not handle DS2 anymore. I don't even know why he is doing it!

 

However, he does seem to be extremely tired when I pick him up from nursery, and he is worse on the days he has 1-1 session for 2.5 hours with out reach lady.

 

But I was absolutely fuming with the attitude that our children are less entitled to a disabled parking space. I don't know how I managed to stay so calm.

 

Fortunately I have an appointment with psychologist next week - but don't know if he will have any strategies that I don't already know.

 

And even those strategies tend to go out of the window when I'm trying to get DS2 to walk by a road which gets busy outside the school!

 

Not actually asking for advice - just so annoyed with attitudes - wish I'd known it was Autism Awareness day!

[sesley]

lots of people don't see autism as a disability because its hidden they rather it was called a affliction,don't know myself why its different,but there you go, i was just saying things do seem better in 2008 than in 1979 on a film i saw, but still the attittudes and understanding of everyone in the public stll needs to change.and i don't blame you for having a rant i had that feeling 3 weeks ago when the teachers said he was the worst and most challenging autistic child they hae ever experienced, and i thought to myself good he is laying the path for others that come up behind him.

[zaman]

Is it worth applying for a blue badge, to get around such ignorance?

[baddad]

rant away, hen - it does more good than harm!

Sorry you're having a rough time at the mo. Hope it turns the corner soon

 

BD

[dooday24]

yeah i agree u should apply for a blue badge we have just got one for reece and its a god send

and dont worry rant away i know how u feel have a really bad time with getting reece to walk and end up battered and bruised

its about time the schools were more understanding

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

love donnaxxxx

[MichelleW]

Thanks for everyones support. I had a better day today, but only because I had to change the time I arrived at school so I could leave DS2 in car. But the arrangement hadn't been passed on to the teacher of DS1. So I had another debate, and the blue badge did get mentioned. But DS1 only gets low mobility rate, and DS2 doesn't get mobility as he is only 3! But I will try!

 

Then I'm also having issues with DS1 - wet himself at school for the last 3 days. teacher says "no, he can't be doing it cos he is stressed - he is perfectly happy at school. Must be a urine infection"

 

So just been up to doctor to get him tested for urine infection ( to satisfy the teacher) but doctor agreed with me that it is likely to be school stress, so didn't give antibiotics (which I totally agreed with). J isn't in pain either.

 

While at doctor, something started humming and DS2 went berserk and freaked out big time, and did a runner! Had to send DS1 to follow him into reception!

 

But today was better than yesterday!!

[Kathryn]

Michelle,

 

Glad today was better than yesterday although it still sounds pretty tough to me.

Roll on the weekend, eh?!

 

<'>

 

K x

[Shnoing]

Sorry to hear about your difficulties. We've got our disabled parking space (+ badge) since our son was 2 yrs. 6 mths. But I think the rules are different depending on where you live.

 

<'>

[Cariad]

Is it worth applying for a blue badge, to get around such ignorance?

 

 

ITA, I have one for the DS as he has regular meltdowns and has no road sense etc. Try for one!!

[MichelleW]

Well, this afternoon was much better! I found that putting his car seat in front next to me helps get him into car. He seems to want to "talk" to me as I'm driving! (OK, all he does is point to each car he sees and says "Car" but he seemed happier)

 

And I left work 10 minutes earlier and DS2 fell asleep in car on the way to get DS1 from school. I parked right outside school and sat and read for half an hour in peace and then left DS2 in car when I went to get DS1 from playground. Managed to have a chat with teacher for 5-10 mins by which time all the school traffic had gone and I could drive home.

 

No tantrums, and I don't mind reading for half hour!

[bid]

I don't want to be a doom goblin, but I have a horrible feeling it might be illegal now for any child under 12 to be in the front seat of a car, even in an approved car seat??

 

Bid

Edited April 4, 2008 by bid

[Lindyloo]

I don't want to be a doom goblin, but I have a horrible feeling it might be illegal now for any child under 12 to be in the front seat of a acr, even in an approved car seat??

 

Bid

 

The following quote is off the DLA web site. It is date 2006, but I could not find any later update.

 

 

3. Can children travel in the front seat? What about 2-seaters and convertibles?

 

Save for those in rear-facing baby seats against active front air-bags, children can travel in the front seat of any vehicle provided they are properly restrained. This includes 2-seaters or convertibles, even if the top is down. But see below about air-bags

[aro]

This might help

 

car seat laws

 

A x

Edited April 4, 2008 by aro

[MichelleW]

Yep, DS2 has a "proper" child seat which goes all the way up and around, with an in-built seat-belt adjuster just like in the picture. And I don't have air bags in my car either! The only issue I have is when he tries to change gear for me! He only did it once!

[bid]

Glad I was wrong

 

Bid