Need a hug

[frazzled]

Hi

 

When I collected dd from school, I could hear her screaming so rushed to the window and saw her banging her head on the classroom carpet. She has never done anything like this before. The teacher was keen to tell me how wonderful dd had been this afternoon. It didn't help that dd was screaming that she didn't want to go home. It has made me feel at rock bottom and I just don't understand what is going on in her head. She is only 5 and HFA with a couple of years speech delay and I thought everything was on the up.

 

I can still hear her talking to herself like a mad thing, I can't seem to help and all I want to do is cry

[Bard]

Hi

 

When I collected dd from school, I could hear her screaming so rushed to the window and saw her banging her head on the classroom carpet. She has never done anything like this before. The teacher was keen to tell me how wonderful dd had been this afternoon. It didn't help that dd was screaming that she didn't want to go home. It has made me feel at rock bottom and I just don't understand what is going on in her head. She is only 5 and HFA with a couple of years speech delay and I thought everything was on the up.

 

I can still hear her talking to herself like a mad thing, I can't seem to help and all I want to do is cry

 

It's unlikely to be you, my guess is that it's just overload. If she's had a good day at school, that required serious effort on her part, even if she was having a good time. Swapping from one situation to another gives her something else to take on board, and it was one thing too many.

After he'd been anywhere new and exciting, B used to talk like a 'loon on loon tablets' as his sister says. He would go through the whole experience aloud, recounting what he'd seen and heard, asking questions and not waiting for the answer, getting loud and monotone as he went.

The next day, after a sleep, he'd be calm and fine again, and not understand why I was concerned about whether he'd enjoyed himself or not. ' Of course I did, I told you so!' he used to grump.

He still does it to some extent, but without the ferocity and energy that he did at 7.

[Enid]

I used to dread picking up my 4, even though I was a pre-school teacher at the adjoining nursery, well it was just the ONE actually, now aged 12, but between 6 to 11 it was painful` His teacher always came out with a long litany of complaints and it ruined the eveing, till I came up with a points system, 1 to 10, with 1 being abysmel and 10 being superb, all numbers had a descibing adjective, the teacher used to write the number on his hand and when we got home he could match it with his chart, 5 and under earnt an early night, 8 and over earnt an extra half hour up to play cards with mum, just me an him. It worked well for years, and stopped the pressure at the end of the school day. Now he`s older its very different, but it workered for us at the time, Enid

[Clare63]

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[Enid]

I used to dread picking up my 4, even though I was a pre-school teacher at the adjoining nursery, well it was just the ONE actually, now aged 12, but between 6 to 11 it was painful` His teacher always came out with a long litany of complaints and it ruined the eveing, till I came up with a points system, 1 to 10, with 1 being abysmel and 10 being superb, all numbers had a descibing adjective, the teacher used to write the number on his hand and when we got home he could match it with his chart, 5 and under earnt an early night, 8 and over earnt an extra half hour up to play cards with mum, just me an him. It worked well for years, and stopped the pressure at the end of the school day. Now he`s older its very different, but it workered for us at the time, Enid

[Enid]

I used to dread picking up my 4, even though I was a pre-school teacher at the adjoining nursery, well it was just the ONE actually, now aged 12, but between 6 to 11 it was painful` His teacher always came out with a long litany of complaints and it ruined the eveing, till I came up with a points system, 1 to 10, with 1 being abysmel and 10 being superb, all numbers had a descibing adjective, the teacher used to write the number on his hand and when we got home he could match it with his chart, 5 and under earnt an early night, 8 and over earnt an extra half hour up to play cards with mum, just me an him. It worked well for years, and stopped the pressure at the end of the school day. Now he`s older its very different, but it workered for us at the time, Enid

[oxgirl]

Frazzled <'> <'> <'>

I remember my lad's first appointment with a private psychotherapist when he was 4.5. In his report the therapist said that when he'd mentioned to Jay that it would soon be time to stop and go home, he'd become very upset and unsettled and tearful, had said that he wanted to sleep in the therapists room and not go home. I was devestated. The therapist had gone on to say that it was the thought of stopping what he had been doing and moving on to something else that had disturbed him so and wasn't a genuine desire not to come home. If your DD had had a good afternoon and enjoyed doing what she was doing, it's probably the sudden thought of changing from one environment to another and stopping what she was doing to come home that upset her and not the actual being at home, iyswim.

Try not to beat yourself up. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I really sympathise. Think we've all been there!

 

I think there's a couple points to make:

 

Firstly, I'm not convinced teachers always report things for a number of reasons: perhaps they don't see everything, or because they're trying to protect parents feelings, etc.

 

Secondly, some kids do have the amazing ability to hold things together until they see their parents. By then they've have enough of concentrating so hard, trying to fit in and confirm, that by the time they've caught sight of their parents, that's their cue to vent! This is well documented by psychologists, hence reason that children can and do behaves differently in different situations.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline