Flying

[ScienceGeek]

I'm flying to scotland on sunday to see Mr J monday morning. I have never been on a plane before or even been in an airport. What is it like? I'm rather nervous about it. Not only the flying but the airport as well. Flying from Bristol to Glasgow international.

[mariaterisa]

I'm flying to scotland on sunday to see Mr J monday morning. I have never been on a plane before or even been in an airport. What is it like? I'm rather nervous about it. Not only the flying but the airport as well. Flying from Bristol to Glasgow international.

 

hi there sci geek...okay...dont know too much about bristol airport but should imagine it isnt as big as hthrow/lgw...so your best bet is to act like everone else....ie ants in a work chain or robots!!!...just follow the prompts..ie...check in with all your papers ...baggage etc...make sure any baggage is identifiable by you.....when that is done go through to departure lounge and listen out or look on the flight board for confirmation of ur flight and the gate that u have to go through to board the plane...give urself plenty of time....but whilst your at the airport...grab a book or mag...settle down somewhere with a drink and just relax.....when you are on the plane...you will have been given a window,middle or aisle seat when you checked in so state your preference at check in.....anyway..once on the plane...carry ion reading,have what ever the trolly saff offer you...especially if its included in your ticket price and just relax.....people dont tend to be that chatty on planes these days and i should imagine you will be in the company of business types/students etc being non peak holiday time...hope this helps..maria

[justamum]

just be aware the take off and landing IS NOISEY.

 

Taking off can feel disconcerting. But if you tell the stewards you are nervous they will help you out.

 

Once you are up enjoy the view!

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

meggz copes fine

she don't like the customs tho: the fear of being touched

explain at check in you dont like crowds, they may be able to get you on quicker, if you go with the orange planes that dont work so much now cos peep pay extra to get on afore kids ect.

bit obvious, but mind the vast change in accents at Glasgow, where you staying after there? how you getting to ayr?

 

wave to me home village as you land lol

if you have anything specific Pm me, we go to Glasgow airport at least 2wice a year, i am going up on my own in june

 

x

[Tally]

At security, they select people at random to search, so they might pull you aside and pat you down. At some airports, they x-ray people at random. If you get taken aside, you could tell them straight away that you are autistic and you need them to explain things clearly so that you can co operate. If you might not be able to say it, you should carry a card with some brief information on - have it where you can reach it quickly and easily. My brother got x-rayed, but he said it was fine and they gave him really clear instructions.

 

Just give yourself plenty of time. Three hours should be plenty. It is better to be bored for a while than panic and risk missing your plane.

 

Some airlines don't allocate you a seat, they just call you onto the plane and you have to choose your seat when you get on. It can be a bit chaotic, but there will be staff on the plane to help if you have any trouble finding a free seat. You will not be allowed to wear headphones during take off and landing.

 

Be glad you're not going from T5

[Mumble]

Pack an extra life jacket just in case. I suspect they do not check that every jacket is moth-hole free between flights (and moths do like a free ride wherever possible) and it would be terribly bad luck if you were to pull the 'inflate' tag, and nothing happened.

 

And maybe a welding kit for the wings. If one were to accidentally make contact with the top of Ben Nevis or a new skyscraper the architects built without informing Air Traffic Control, if would be as well to be able to perform a little DIY. You may also find it useful for the tail. Although not important for flying, the tail allows the owners to claim the plane - a bit like the branding of sheep. If the tail were to fall off, no one would know which pen to place you in on landing and everything could get very muddled.

 

And perhaps a little solder for the circuit boards.

 

And a parachute - I think only first class passengers get them - I certainly didn't, and an oxygen mask may be all well and good, but it ain't going to help as you plummet from 20,000 feet. Also useful as bibs and sick-holders.

 

You might also want to pack some flares so if you come down somewhere isolated, people will know where to look for you - although on second thoughts, they might not let you through security. You could make some out of florescent card.

 

Don't take any baby milk to drink, that's not allowed because you might blow up the plane with it. Ensure you are not sitting next to a lactating mother - I assume the same would apply.

 

And make sure you don't have religious (holey) socks on, because you have to take your shoes off at the airport so security can check whether whichever colour/pattern/cartoon sock you have picked is compatible with the decor of the plane. Plane socks are usually the best choice. And don't be fooled by 'flight socks'. These do not guarantee flight or give you super-human powers.

 

Aim for the good looking security person, cause they like to wave their magic beeping wand around you and then pat you down to prove you have to rabbits hidden about your person before they extract one from your ear. If they extract a plane-wing/tail, check your own plane carefully before boarding. If in doubt, take some iron and fashion an extra wing/tail (attachable with welding kit).

 

Remember at security that humans go through the tall upright metal detector and bags, buckles, braces, dogs, chameleons (if you can spot them) and grannies go through the horizontal x-ray machine, not the other way around...

 

Wear several inflatable rubber rings on your body, arms, head and legs when negotiating the tunnel type things they herd passengers down like sheep to ensure other passengers bounce off you rather than crowd into you. You should be safe from puncture unless the tunnel is infiltrated by the lazy moths, as all sharp items will have been removed at security.

 

Pack a spirit level so that a)you can check the wings are horizontal, b)you can check the tail is vertical c)you can drink the spirit when other checks have been performed. This spirit is likely to be a lot cheaper than that available on board.

 

Ensure you are not sitting next to a chocolate button stealing rhinoceros. They sometimes come in disguise, so be vigilant.

 

Do not choose to sit in front of anyone who looks like they might practise projectile vomiting. If there is no choice, erect your parachute behind you as a splatter shield.

 

If you find you are lucky and don't need the parachute, hand it to the woman in ridiculously high heals and over-red lipstick as you begin to land and ask her to hang it behind the plane to aid braking. Failure to do so may result in the need to exit the plane by slide. These slides are not covered by the same health and safety regulations as children's playground slides and should be treated with some caution. Best to stick to the swings.

 

When you collect your bags, do not be confused by the word 'carrousel'. This is not the same type of carouselcarousel as found at fun-fairs and sitting on it and riding around is not appreciated.

 

When you arrive in Scotland, remember that this is very very North. Do not be surprised if you see the odd reindeer flying around, and ensure you have alpine snow-wear to hand.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

mumble behave

[Mumble]

mumble behave

Wot?

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

well i have done the route lots and lots of times, and i really dont need all those bits you seem to lol

and i hate flying

really hate it!

x

[Mumble]

i have done the route lots and lots of times, and i really dont need all those bits you seem to

Really? And that's only the basic kit. Don't get me started on the kit for advanced fliers

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

i have me fone

me handbag

me purse

sometimes me rescue remedy

painkillers

me passport,

me book

me daughter:

her bag:

tantic math game?

book

teddy

fiddle things

ds

 

 

 

 

am i missing something!?!?!?!?!?!

 

 

oh and the tissues, cos for some beyond stoopid reason i cry over glasgow and as we land to see my "old home"

[Mumble]

am i missing something!?!?!?!?!?!

Kitchen sink, life-raft, hubby. In no particular order.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

ahhh

huubbbby

nah big man stays here and has a mad wife free weekend

 

 

edit to say can you see Big Man on one of those planes mumble

mind boggles!

x

Edited April 10, 2008 by Lya of the Nox

[Mumble]

big man stays here and has a mad wife free weekend

Is that a mad-wife free weekend or a mad wife-free weekend??

[mariaterisa]

by the way who is mr J ?????lol..maria x

[mariaterisa]

Pack an extra life jacket just in case. I suspect they do not check that every jacket is moth-hole free between flights (and moths do like a free ride wherever possible) and it would be terribly bad luck if you were to pull the 'inflate' tag, and nothing happened.

 

And maybe a welding kit for the wings. If one were to accidentally make contact with the top of Ben Nevis or a new skyscraper the architects built without informing Air Traffic Control, if would be as well to be able to perform a little DIY. You may also find it useful for the tail. Although not important for flying, the tail allows the owners to claim the plane - a bit like the branding of sheep. If the tail were to fall off, no one would know which pen to place you in on landing and everything could get very muddled.

 

And perhaps a little solder for the circuit boards.

 

And a parachute - I think only first class passengers get them - I certainly didn't, and an oxygen mask may be all well and good, but it ain't going to help as you plummet from 20,000 feet. Also useful as bibs and sick-holders.

 

You might also want to pack some flares so if you come down somewhere isolated, people will know where to look for you - although on second thoughts, they might not let you through security. You could make some out of florescent card.

 

Don't take any baby milk to drink, that's not allowed because you might blow up the plane with it. Ensure you are not sitting next to a lactating mother - I assume the same would apply.

 

And make sure you don't have religious (holey) socks on, because you have to take your shoes off at the airport so security can check whether whichever colour/pattern/cartoon sock you have picked is compatible with the decor of the plane. Plane socks are usually the best choice. And don't be fooled by 'flight socks'. These do not guarantee flight or give you super-human powers.

 

Aim for the good looking security person, cause they like to wave their magic beeping wand around you and then pat you down to prove you have to rabbits hidden about your person before they extract one from your ear. If they extract a plane-wing/tail, check your own plane carefully before boarding. If in doubt, take some iron and fashion an extra wing/tail (attachable with welding kit).

 

Remember at security that humans go through the tall upright metal detector and bags, buckles, braces, dogs, chameleons (if you can spot them) and grannies go through the horizontal x-ray machine, not the other way around...

 

Wear several inflatable rubber rings on your body, arms, head and legs when negotiating the tunnel type things they herd passengers down like sheep to ensure other passengers bounce off you rather than crowd into you. You should be safe from puncture unless the tunnel is infiltrated by the lazy moths, as all sharp items will have been removed at security.

 

Pack a spirit level so that a)you can check the wings are horizontal, b)you can check the tail is vertical c)you can drink the spirit when other checks have been performed. This spirit is likely to be a lot cheaper than that available on board.

 

Ensure you are not sitting next to a chocolate button stealing rhinoceros. They sometimes come in disguise, so be vigilant.

 

Do not choose to sit in front of anyone who looks like they might practise projectile vomiting. If there is no choice, erect your parachute behind you as a splatter shield.

 

If you find you are lucky and don't need the parachute, hand it to the woman in ridiculously high heals and over-red lipstick as you begin to land and ask her to hang it behind the plane to aid braking. Failure to do so may result in the need to exit the plane by slide. These slides are not covered by the same health and safety regulations as children's playground slides and should be treated with some caution. Best to stick to the swings.

 

When you collect your bags, do not be confused by the word 'carrousel'. This is not the same type of carouselcarousel as found at fun-fairs and sitting on it and riding around is not appreciated.

 

When you arrive in Scotland, remember that this is very very North. Do not be surprised if you see the odd reindeer flying around, and ensure you have alpine snow-wear to hand.

[mariaterisa]

deliciously funny mumble....havent laughed so much in ages.....just a bit concerned though as sci geek has gone quiet...!!!!...you should publish this sort of thing....great sense of humour...thanks,maria x

[ScienceGeek]

Not quiet, just reading a book at the moment. Mr J is Ian Jordan, he was posting on this forum but not at the moment. I'm going to see him about some special funky coloured glasses

[David Matthew Baker]

I love flying.

 

First thing you normally see (and hear) is them test the flaps if your sitting on a wing (anywhere in the plane).

Then they often powerup the engines to test them.

 

Sometimes they then just start accelerating down the runway (other times you finish taxing to runway then accelerate down it).

This pushes you backwards into your seat.

You'll then feel the front of the plane lift up.

You'll get to feel some wonderful g's and often bank heavily just after take off.

I love sitting by a window and looking down. It looks just like a model.

 

As for landing,

The flaps will open up to help slow the plane.

Then when you're over the runway you'll feel a bump as the rear wheels touch down and then another as the front one does.

Then the engines will power upto slow down the plane.

 

I hope you enjoy it.

[mumble_rocks]

Mumble!! I love it although I did like the comment on flight socks!

 

I hate hate hate flying and it is compliently noisy to start with and to end with but inbetween I found Scout leaders hugs were good and there hands block out alot of noise.

 

I also found out that airlines dont like people with broken arms to sit in the alsie sits to my disguse and after my leader explaining that i needed to be inbetween two of them so I dont kill anyone! they were ok (But doubt your flying with a cast on!)

 

Also, the metal detectors bleep a horrid noise so make sure your not wearing metal! Ummm.......... also if you cant cope I advise you not to kick the seat infront of you with your shins the person infront you can garuntee will be the stroppiest person on the flight. Also they are very hard at the time you might not feel it but later on you really will!! and the bruises you can show for weeks and weeks!

 

O and people on the flight dont like people screaming at the top of their lungs because they cant cope!!

 

Just a few words of my expirence although I am sure your exprence wont be as bad as mine and if Ian Jordan gives you magic glasses like mine it is well worth it!!

Edited April 11, 2008 by mumble_rocks