please please help

[lisa35]

Please can anyone help, my 12 yr old has probable aspergers- we re undergoing 2nd assessment

Big problems at school- we re inprocess of awaiting decision re if lea will assess for statement-at present he has one to one for one lesson daily and accessto senco room, when he has one to one there are minimal problemes

Today has come home- message left on my phone from year head-has been excluded for 3 days- apparently PE teacher told him to walk round field to cool down after he lost temper with another lad and spat at him, ,Joe taken into a room and from what I can gather Joe swore at teacher called him f in w ker, teacher also got angry and callerd him a gobby shi,,,

Have had probs withtthis teacher before- called other kids muppets

So, here s the question-is this an ilegal exclusiion????? Im at end of tether-angry that I was informed on answer machine

We re going into school with him first thing and demanding to see year head - Im not even sure if exclusion starts from tomorrow as I didnt listen to message properly aand deleted it cos so wound up

ive also just started new job- in scheme of things I know he comes first but worried about the impact-he could get perm excluded-that scares me

Im worried hes going to put on scrap heap, already labelled

I phoned LEA and spoke to an Educational Pysch-ours is away til Monday and Ill email her

Also trying to get hold of IPSEA

This is further ammunition for statement- Imscared he s going to miss more and more school, already hates it

Thanks

Lisa

[Kathryn]

Is it an illegal exclusion? The short answer is yes, if the school does nothing else.

 

Strict duties are placed on heads in this situation and the law has recently changed to place even more obligation on schools so there's no excuse for not knowing the rules.

 

The head should have written to you giving the length and reason for the exclusion. They can notify you by phone but should follow up immediately in writing, before the start of the school day if the exclusion is to take effect from tomorrow.

 

The letter should also set out, among other things, your right to make representations to the governors and the arrangements for the child's education in the meantime, The school must set and mark work if the exclusion is longer than a day.

 

Have a look at the IPSEA support sheets: they are very helpful and you would be given this information if you rang them. I think sheet no.1 applies to you.

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/exclusion-support-sheets.htm

 

The full guidece on exclusions is contained in the DFES document "Improving Behaviour and Attendance" I'll pm you the link.

 

Hope this helps,

 

K x

Edited April 10, 2008 by Kathryn

[purplehaze]

My son had the same problems and was always being excluded, schools get round it by saying they have to exclude because of their behaviour policies etc. I wrote a letter to the governors and my PP phoned the school to say it wasn't on. He hasn't been excluded since he has had a statement.

 

Have a look on this website as well

 

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice/exclusionpack.html

 

Although if your son is in an academy it differs. I found that my son was being excluded much more during the assessment process and they were mentioning about whether I was going to look around other schools.

 

You need to arrange a meeting to see how the school is going to support your son, and take someone from parent partnership they can be very helpful. Ask if all teachers are aware of your sons difficulties. Let us know how you get on. X

[lisa35]

thanks, have written and ringing am

apaprently, as long as they make a phone call, the exclusion can start tomorrow am, as long as they follow up in writing

Cant beleive I deleted the phone message before I listened properly

xx

[Kathryn]

thanks, have written and ringing am

apaprently, as long as they make a phone call, the exclusion can start tomorrow am, as long as they follow up in writing

Cant beleive I deleted the phone message before I listened properly

xx

 

According to the guidance, written notice must be given before the start of the next school day - (para 75 in Improving Behaviour and Attendance on the Ace link purplehaze has given above).

 

K x

[Kinda]

I think you should also make a big issue out of the awaiting report into his AS and explain in a controlled way (I realise this can be difficult) how AS affects him. My son who is older, we agreed a way of dealing with confrontation by way of an escalating scale. If issues couldn't be dealt with at the teacher (lecturer level then it was escalated to year head and after this then myself and head of course. It worked but we still had our disagreements right up to his finals and when I wrote to them all at the end of year to thank them I didn't even get a reply which rather explains to me that they really would rather we weren't there.

 

At the confrontations ( I mean meetings) I would always argue they were being prejudicial to my son as they couldn't meet is special needs requirements and all we ever wanted them to provide was the course in the agreed manner. My son was considered a trouble maker because he questioned their failure to deliver the course to the agreed curriculum and even named and shamed the lecturers who were poor all of which they couldn't deal with.

 

He never attended the degree ceremony and he thought they were incompetant but when he got his higher degree and the standard of teaching was far higher (red brick university) then he was proud to be associated with the university which rather vindicated his and our opinion of the first university. Later on they were named and shamed for rigging the marking to allow students to pass which was another issue my son named and shamed them on.

 

I think you need to try and engage with them and see if you can agree some ground rules and see if you get your son to "buy into" the agreement and hopefully he won't be so frustrated which of course is the reason for his behaviour.

 

Your job is a separate issue and you should not feel guilty about pursuing your own career.

 

Re-read this later and its seems a bit "direct" so sorry for that but for me if you can take the confrontation out of it and try and engage with the school and get buy in from your son it may help and be a way forward. In fact i don't know why schools don't operate a mediation service so the emotion can be taken out of the situation and has empathy with both sides.

Edited April 11, 2008 by Kinda

[Enid]

My son, now 12 was always getting sent home, I work to so I know how you feel, I know they come first but there are still the bills to pay, the first time he was excluded for two days, the letter was sent home in my daughters bookbag, It said he wasnt allowed onto school site until after exclusion, I was furious as I work at school (VERY EMBARASSING) and had to collect other children from there it was very awkward, to say the least, When he was excluded permantly I had to appeal to the govenors to allow him on site as it was just too awkward, they relented in the end, but it left a bad feeling all round. Enid

[SarahSH]

Hi Lisa

 

sounds like the real issue is that they aren't really taking his needs into account enough and providing for them.

 

There's no way they should just send him home like that - it makes your working life impossible for one thing, and it doesn't solve the problem for another.

 

I would write and ask for a meeting and really put the ball in their court of how they plan to meet his needs more effectively than they are at present. You probably have already done this but don't be embarassed to ask to meet as many times as you need till you're satisfied with the provision. broadly speaking - i know it can't always be perfect. Get whatever ammunition you can from what they say in the school prospectus/website they want to do for inclusion and meeting individual kids' needs. Don't know if you've come across the 'Every child matters agenda'? - says every school should be helping kids enjoy and achieve, among other things.

 

The statement might take forever and they might well be reluctant to go through the process, although it can be a great lever if you do manage to get one. But in the meantime, yes they're offering a bit of one to one which is good, and access to the senco room which is good, but maybe the rest of the day is still just too stressful for him to cope with.

 

Don't let them tell you what he 'should ' be able to cope with, there's no 'should' about it - if he can't actually cope with it, then he can't, so things need to be changed so that he can enjoy and achieve. Whatever it takes.

 

Hope they listen and offer something more for him,

 

love Sarah

[justamum]

I would go and speak to your local MP about what is happening

[lisa35]

off today-spoke to school-even support admits theyre not managing him, year head said they stand by exclusion- irrespective as cannot accept swearing at teacher- and many allowances have already been made-which have

Spoke to support they feel some of his behaviuors not autism-eg- she made sure all his maths home work/ book was in school bag- when he came home it wasnt- she then found it on top of a cabinet- suggesting hed taken it out

But I said that in intself is not normal-and asked if she felt that Joe cannot be manged in main straem- said not for her to answer- but has v complex needs

Awaiting return call as we want increased support as asap

Im in bits now- wjhat hell happens if he cant go to school- we both work full time- this is horrific

Our son is in bits- Im ashamed to sayI was crying down phone to teachers

Lisa

[stressedmumto2]

My son too was excluded form 2 primary schools, at the time little did I realise that his behaviour was escalating because of a refusal to go to school, but I think when schools start to exclude it is because they do not know how to manage the child.

 

Schools have to make reasonable adjustments and I wonder if an internal exclusion would of worked better, ie.e him being in a different room to work, if he doesn't like being in school then excluding him can lead to problems later of him knowing what will work to get out of school.

 

I think you need to ask them if they had made all reasonable adjustments before excluding, are they aware this is how he reacts when upset, was he given a place where he could go and calm and the teachers response to what your son called him is not right, even if he felt that way he should no better than to fuel the situation by calling your son names.

 

At one school my son went to the teacher threatened to call the police on him if he didn't put a stick down that he was bashing a bush with, he recated badly to it then threatened her, he didn't hurt her just threatened her. I got this exclusion overturned because the school were aware, it was on my son's records that he would react badly to any threats. All of this stemed from him getting a question wrong in the classroom and it shows just how little it can take to make some children react badly with agression and threatening behaviour.

 

I hope you get this sorted, I would also ask the school after this excluison if you don't appeal it to write up a plan with your son on how to avoid this happeneing again so tht he can learn to be in control and manage his behaviour when he is feeling upset, this may be that they tell him he can leave the classroom or find a safe place to go to etc.

 

Hope you get things sorted soon, reda the IPSEA guidline on exclusion as they are very good

[stressedmumto2]

BTW Lisa don't worry about the crying down the phone I ahve done this too many many times, chin up and here's a hug <'>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My understanding is that schools can only exclude/suspend if a child poses a risk to themselves or others. The use of bad language and losing one's temper (unless there's more to it?) hardly pose a risk. IPSEA should be able to help. Might also be worth contacting:

 

Advocacy for Education Service - Advice on educational provision and entitlements for parents whose children have autism or Asperger syndrome

0845 070 4002

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline

[Karen A]

Hi Lisa.ACE also operate an exclusion telephone advice service.The number is on the ACE web site.ACE are very helpful although you may have to try several times as they do get busy...perhaps it may be easier this week as a lot of schools are on holiday.Karen.

[Kinda]

Hi Lisa35

 

Nothing wrong in crying when talking about your child and the issues they face, happens to me all the time. I think it would help if you could engage with the school that its a problem that you both share, them as being responsible for his education and you as parents. Both parties have his best interest at heart but this sometimes gets lost when behavioural issues are present.

 

I think if you state that these are only a side issue, this is not detracting from their seriousness but rather they are not the root cause of the problem. Your fear is that should the root issues not be dealt with then the problem may get worse before it gets better. I wouldn't mention that you both work etc as the school sometimes then see themselves as child carers rather than teachers.

 

Maybe if you try to get them to deal with the real issues regarding help then this is the ONLY way forward for everyone. I would also mention that you would love your child to be a model student but until help that meets his needs is provided this is not going to happen. Explain that you feel that we (include yourself in this so as to appease the school and recognise your own frustrations trying to get him help and the guilt that parents carry with this) have failed him and exclusion is not solving the problem but leaving it at your door when you have struggled to prevent the situation that has occurred from arising in the first place by seeking the help he needs.

 

Try and take the emotional and behavioural issues out of the discussion in the first instance so as not to detract from causes and when a plan for that is agreed then deal with the behavioural and in the instance perhaps include your son in the negotiations (if not face to face but include him in any agreements so he knows exactly the consequences of his actions. I realise this maybe difficult depending on the extent of his difficulties but explain he is not a nasty child just one that is terribly frustrated). Go armed with some information on behaviour and his specific needs which you believe he needs so that the school can understand the problem.

 

A parent with knowledge and of course an emotional involvement in their child is a very powerful combination and if its done in a spirit of co-operation and as something the school can help in a positive way then you are on your way to help. Perhaps the school could appoint someone to mentor your child, when he's stressed/confused the mentor could help him to sort the problem he is having out, anyway just a few thoughts. Empathise with them on the behavioural issues but explain these are born out of frustration etc etc.

 

Hope I haven't gone on too much but I've written it as it came to me in my head.

Edited April 12, 2008 by Kinda