I can't decide.....special school or mainstream

[deeejar]

My 3 year old son has a diagnosis of autism. He can talk, but is not great at communicating. He has some 2/3 word learned phrases, which he someetimes uses appropriately, but usually is just talking to himeself. His preferred method of communication is to use me and his daddy as tools to get what he wants, and when frustrated or unhappy about any thing to scream and hit himself on his head. Most of the time he forgets words, and sometimes he blows me away with what he does. Today for example, he walked up to his 5 year old brother and said hug, and hugged him with arms around his brother, it was amazing, so sweet.

I am so confused about his schooling. I am going through the assessment stage right now, and have moments when I think he could cope in mainstream, especially after today when he hugged his brother, he usually stays away from him. I worry about whether he will have appropriate peers in the special school, which is not autism specific, but does have a high percentage of asd children. However in a mainstream he will not be able to cope, because he can not cope with noise and is self-directing. He also can not understand more than one word at a time, and never feels the need to follow the crowd, he prefers his own company. He also has alot of repetitive behaviours.

However he also is quite bright in some areas, such as shapes, colours, and numbers. He has no self-help skills, and is nowhere near being toilet-trained. HE has no understanding of non-verbal communication, and can not follow simple instructions.

I want to get my choice of school wight, but there are not many options in my borough apart from a decent special school, or mainstream, there are no asd units, which I think would be ideal for my son. My other option is to go out of borough, but I don't think my son could cope with the long journey each day.

Could anyone advice?

Please?

[Enid]

Hi, is your son at a nusery or pre-school? if he is I would ask the senco or supervisor what their views are, you could always also speak to your health visitor and GP. Enid

[Gillian Roberts]

Have you tried communciation cards, picture fan cards. look at www.sparklebox.com offers all sorts of cards for facial expression, where your child could point to pictures, like the toilet or glass of water, or luch or play.

 

Very good and might encourage to say and repeat the words.

[Suze]

Gosh this is tough because kids can change so much in those early years.However after my experience I,d probaby say go with a specialist place first, if he copes well and things change he can always be transferred to a mainstream setting.However a mainstream setting is a noisy bustling environment the ratio of staff to kids is,nt great, alot claim to understand autism but in reality don,t , even with a full time statement it ,s still a flipping struggle.A specialist environment will also have easier access to other services such as SALT and OT.The best thing to do would be to visit as many different types of school setting as possible, special autism school, schools for , speach and lang difficulties, a mainstream primary with a resourced unit ,...............this one maybe a good option as they have the specialist environment but can access mainstream classes aswell.Such a setting is currently working well for my son..............Anyway enough of my waffling ...............just my experiences, hope it might help a little, best wishes suzex.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

i work in early years

and i would say go specialist

my dd is in mainstream and it is such a struggle and has been all along

[LizK]

Very difficult. My son is doing well in mainstream with fulltime 1-2-1 support. He too has particular language difficulties. We are extremely fortunate in his school being very clued up about autism and having a fantastic LSA who has previous experience of ASD. The advantage of mainstream for my son has been the beneficial effects on socialisation, language and play of mixing with his peers. Also some concerns re copying behaviours if he was in a specialist placement. He is also fairly academically able in some areas (numeracy, ICT) and school stretches him. The disadvantages of mainstream is large class sizes (he gets overwhelmed with too much noise or sensory input) and the lack of SALT/OT/Music therapy etc which is on hand at a specialist school. We have had real battles getting anywhere near half decent SALT and OT provision and are having to fund private SALT. On balance at the moment my son is best placed in mainstream but we have no idea how that will go in the future

 

Have you looked around the various schools on offer? In our LEA there is minimal ASD-specific provision but one of the area special schools has a fantastic reputation for ASD. Some areas will offer mixed placements too which might be a possibility? Is he in mainstream or specialist nursery at the moment? What do the professionals involved in his case think?

 

Lx

[Shnoing]

For our son (4, autie) we've decided (for now) that he'll attend a special needs school. Main reason are class sizes (6 vs. 30) and his additional hearing problem. Mainstream teachers usually refuse to wear FM systems so we fear he'll (1) hear almost nothing because of the background noise and (2) ignore the few instructions he hears due to his AS.

 

Self, wife and eldest dd (Aspie) attended mainstream school and were (almost) top of class.

[kirstie]

My son is 3 in August and i have applied for a specialist nursery placement because he is very much as you describe your son. (had to smile at the shapes numbers colours- my son is exactly the same) but my reasoning is this, i have been 'fortunate' if that's the right word to use, that we got an early diagnosis and i plan to use it to his advantage. Intensive specialist support for his language difficulties and OT for his gross motor early on may well see him cope beautifully in mainstream down the line. He is a very smiley and interactive boy who in time i think will benefit from being with typically developing children to help his language along. But right now, knowing first hand how much of a joke it is getting adequate support in mainstream this is the route i have decided upon.

I know this is agonising times, and the visits to various schools will leave you exhausted emotionally and mentally but take your time and go with your gut instincts every time! <'>

[deeejar]

Well, after all my confusion, it looks as though all the proffesionals involved with my son think a special school would be best. I have to admit that faced with the reality of it all, it is just a little........difficult. It makes his autism a bit more real, and having to face the fact that my boy has problems that just will not go away is proving a bit difficult. I know I managed to cope with his diagnosis, but I think the fight for him focused my energy and emotions, and now that he needs special education, it just seems somehow a bit more real. The paediatrician actually told me that my son will never cope in a mainstream school. Until he said that to me, I never quite admitted to myself that I had never quite let go of my dream that my children would all go to school together, stick up for eachother in the playground, even have friends in common. Silly, I know. It is just that when my boys were born, I always thought they would all be playmates together, and it is not quite working out like that.

Ah well, I know I should just accept that this is the best decision. The school the paediatrician has in mind, is a good school, and I have been to see it.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I suppose it is just another step I should just accept.

x

[sarahponari]

good luck with the school, we are at the same stage as you, but although i really dont think my daughter will cope in mainstream all the professionals have said to try it and see how she goes, in a way i wish they would say she needs a special school, as im 99.9999% sure she wont cope in mainstream.

[Suze]

Big hugs Deejar <'> ................one thing I would say....is you never know what the future brings.I have a friend whose boy was in a very specialist environment initially and is now in year 4 and at a mainstream primary with support and doing well .What the future holds for our kids can be such a hard thing to cope with and accept, but if he starts off in the best environment (and I hope this school is ), Then hopefully things won,t deteriorate for him and perhaps he,ll thrive there,best wishes suzex.