Advice please

[bluefish]

Hi, ds has recently started to go on about another child from nursery.It has got to the point that this dominates everything he says.

For example a typical conversation goes like this.." Is x awake now? is he having coco pops ? ask me is x awake now? dont say dont know say yes, no not like that say Yesss. will x be at nursery today? will he mummy ?say yes. x is my girlfriend. dont say I know ,say is she."

This is non stop all day.I have tried telling him I do not know if x is doing whatever and he gets very upset and distressed.

I asked (in desperation) if x could come and play as I thought this might help and he became hysterical and said x belongs to nursery.(he has never wanted anyone to come)

The staff at nursery said he went on and on when x was off for a day. When this child is at nursery apparently ds just follows her around.

Any ideas how to stop or reduce this constant talk?

Its exhausting!

[Shnoing]

Could be that he chose her as the 'object' of his Intense Interest. Then you should somehow try to encourage him to choose something else. Try anything other than a human being.

[Enid]

Gosh how wearing! have not had this experience myself to this extent, have had a few years ago ds blaming another child for absolutely everything that went wrong for him at school, but not to your extent, the only way is to absolutely and totaly ignore it, and get nursery onside to help, perhaps it would be better if he didnt go on same days as her? at least until his obsession with her wears off, good luck! Enid.

[jb1964]

Hi, ds has recently started to go on about another child from nursery.It has got to the point that this dominates everything he says.

For example a typical conversation goes like this.." Is x awake now? is he having coco pops ? ask me is x awake now? dont say dont know say yes, no not like that say Yesss. will x be at nursery today? will he mummy ?say yes. x is my girlfriend. dont say I know ,say is she."

This is non stop all day.I have tried telling him I do not know if x is doing whatever and he gets very upset and distressed.

I asked (in desperation) if x could come and play as I thought this might help and he became hysterical and said x belongs to nursery.(he has never wanted anyone to come)

The staff at nursery said he went on and on when x was off for a day. When this child is at nursery apparently ds just follows her around.

Any ideas how to stop or reduce this constant talk?

Its exhausting!

 

Hi Bluefish,

 

We have exactly the same problem at the moment with our NT daughter who is 5. She is fixated about a little girl in school and even keeps on and on about changing her name when she gets old enough, she keeps asking can she have her hair dyed etc!. She writes this girls name on everything she does and plays lots and lots of games (she talks out aloud all the time) - where she is this little girl - even when she's eating her dinner and going to bed etc - I've tried to play it down as much as I can as I haven't wanted to make a big issue - but it is at the moment for her.

 

I have a feeling she follows the little girl around too - and we do have a problem at the moment where she wants to move schools because no one will play with her - but I do wonder if this is because she is so intense - it is very difficult.

 

Take care, hope things get better soon.

Jb

[forbsay]

i wonder if you should just try and ignore it......... easier said than done though.

 

Re your wee son not wanting the child to come and play at your house. My son likes everyone to be in their place where he expects them to be ie doesn't like seeing teachers at the shops etc............

 

M had an obsession when he kept calling people the wrong names. It used to drive us up the wall and he used to play games with his toys calling them wrong names. We used to put him out on the naughty step but eventually we ignored him.

 

Take care - I know how exhausting it is.

 

Forbsay

[bluefish]

Hi thanks for replys. I spoke to nursery today and asked them to ignore ds going on about x and try to distract when possible(thanks for advice about getting nursery onboard Enid) I have been trying hard today to ignore his consant talking about x and have responded with ,shall we get the water pistols out or oh look there is a bird on window sill, He is still going on but has managed not to get upset when I have answered with something other than an answer about x

Ds has other obssesions and although they are exhausting they have not bothered me, as this was a child I felt uncomfortable with it, I was (am) worried x may feel hounded by ds and even if x does not ds needs to try and understand other people dont want to be followed all the time.

Will keep you posted as to how we get on with the x obsession(I spoke to x parents and they are very undersanding)

[Enid]

So glad you are feeling more positive about it, they keep us on our toes these kids dont they!!! Enid

[smiley]

Hiya,

 

Is it possible that this obsession could be because you little 'un is anxious about nursery?

 

One gorgeous little guy i supported had exactly the same problem. Once visual support, clear guidelines, etc, was put in place - things calmed down for him. Or maybe giving him an adult to cling to rather than a child? And get the adult to actually initiate play - coz that's another reason the child i'm thinking of was having problems, he didn't know how to play - so followed round a child he was familiar with and copied everything................ to the point of driving the other child and most around him nuts!