why is everything so difficult?

[jools]

G is in year 6.

he has an extra transition visit for this monday.

his new secondary school rang me at 8am last monday to confirm the date and to mention the transition booklet the asd team had sent into his primary.

i explained i didn't know anything about it, despite me working there.

asked his teacher when i got there who said 'oh yeah. its around somewhere. its not really relevant though'

i asked that i be shown it at break time. she avoided me all day until i caught her after school where she finally dug it out from bottom of table covered in junk and repeated that she didn't think it was relevant. i calmly explained that if the asd team think it is and so do i then we are the better judge! also said i would pick it up on friday after school after he had chance to fill in a few pages and bring it back on monday.

 

soooo he came out of school without it last night and still claimed never to have seen it. went in to ask for it and was told he hadn't done any. they are too busy apparantly! couldn't keep my mouth shut and asked exactly what was so important, considering sats are over and they are not doing any maths, literacy or science. i watch them every day having extra play and see her in the staff room making cups of tea!

 

aaggghhhhhh! he has 10 hours support and i can't believe they couldn't spend 15mins filling in some of the booklet.

 

i can't wait for him to leave this school!

[JsMum]

I would discuss this with the ASD team because for me I think Secondary Transistion is going to be one of the biggest challenges they meet in their Education, there 11yrs old, not a young kid, but not old enough to reall comprehend all the changes, even NT children have huge difficulties getting use to the mass of what a secondary school, many children worry about Bullying, been lost, not keeping up with homework, with ASD/ADHD this is trebbeled because of their difficulties communicating their worries and feelings and I wonder if this ASD booklet is an oportunity to look into this, it may have useful information your son will need, in some schools they do plans, maps, and some have teachers pictures, to get use to changes.

 

School transitition is a massive change, its going to tuff as it is, the primary school really need to understand that just the enviroment alone is going to be stressful, I would write a strong letter of how discouraged you are of the transition from your primary school so that this doesnt repeat in september next year, writing to the senco and chair of governers may encourage them to take an active role in the transition into secondary for ASD/ADHD children, as the ASD Team are too well aware, the first year needs to go as smoothly as possible to ensure a lasting stay.

 

I know your frustration all too well, but you need to share this with the primary school otherwise next June they will just remain making cups of tea and sending the children out to play!

 

Good Luck with your sons secondary school, J transfers in September too and we are going to appeals for a specialist ADHD/ASD school placement and as of yet we dont know what way it may go, its a total stress head for us mums.

 

Good Luck

 

 

JsMum

[Bard]

Unbelievable, she's a class teacher and his smooth transition should be one of the things in the forefront of her mind at this time. Just because it's a hidden disability doesn't mean that she can pretend he hasn't got it, and to ignore the advice and support of the secondary school and ASD team is beyond arrogance.

 

You could write a formal letter of complaint to the governors, detailing the lack of care shown for a child with specific needs.

 

And if it was me in that situation, I'd write another letter explaining why I was keeping him off for a day to complete essential paperwork that the school was refusing to make time for, despite their obligations to the child.

 

Oh, and I have a desk covered in junk and I'm not having any extra cups of tea.

Edited June 14, 2008 by Bard

[Bagpuss]

That's not on! <'>

 

We are going through a transition period at the moment too, with our youngest DD, who is transferring to a special school in September. Thankfully both her new teacher and her present teacher are keen, helpful and supportive.

 

If I were in your position I'd ask to see the Head and discuss it further with her and also discuss it with the ASD team.

[jools]

thanks for the replies.

 

it is just so frustrating. he appears quite ok at school and i just can't get through to them he is getting stressed.

on top of transition he is going on a 4 night residential with y6 in 2 weeks time.

his behaviour at home is awful. he is over sensitive to everything.....touch, noise.....you name it.....but you know what i'm talking about.

then last night he wet the bed something he hasn't done for years.

 

i will go and speak to the asd team on monday.

i will get hubbie to speak to school........too many things going on from a professional point of view with jobs and i don't feel able to speak to the head about G at teh moment.

 

thanks again

[sadie]

I'd go with Bagpuss and Bard......by putting my concerns in writing. It's too easy to get over emotional (or angry) when trying to discuss these things face to face and then the message you are trying to convey can too easily be dismissed...(over anxious parent etc etc....) Also the message can be 'forgotten' . If you send a formal letter to the governors it cannot be so easily dismissed and should be kept on record. And it may help others in the future.