ScienceGeek Report post Posted June 20, 2008 So my wife has OCD and it can get pretty bad at times, she has her obsessions and I have mine. She has been really upset about her compulsive overeating, it's not just the case of going on a diet, but it is really damaging her self esteem and her health. Today she has been at home crying because of it and only managed to go into the office for a little while earlier. I really want to be able to help her but I don't know how. Any ideas? We're both kind of fragile right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted June 20, 2008 There really is a limit to what you can do for someone else when you yourself are in a bad way. You are no use to her if you end up breaking down completely. Can she approach her friends, family or GP for help at the moment? Is she getting any medical help? Medical help is important, because there is only so much support from other people can achieve anyway. It might help if you ask her what you can do. If you can discuss it at a time when she is not upset, she might be able to tell you things you can do to comfort her, or even reassure you that you are already doing the right things. Just sitting with her and listening to her is probably a huge support. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGeek Report post Posted June 20, 2008 She has a drs appointment next Tuesday, I nagged her to make one. The thing is when I ask her how I can help she says she doesn't know. She tells me that I'm doing the right things, so that is a plus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted June 21, 2008 (edited) Maybe you could ask her if she wants you to come with her to the doctor. Everyone's different, so she may feel she can talk more openly without you, or she may find it difficult to express the extent of her problems without help. Edited June 21, 2008 by Tally Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted June 22, 2008 Compulsive eating can be for many reasons - comfort eating, self destruction (as part of low esteem etc), or part of a clinically diagnosable eating disorder. I suggest you do some online research to give you ideas. Does she take deliberate actions to purge eaten food when she feels guilty??? this can be hard to manage. maybe making her write a timetable for eating too and eat together all the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGeek Report post Posted June 25, 2008 Compulsive eating can be for many reasons - comfort eating, self destruction (as part of low esteem etc), or part of a clinically diagnosable eating disorder. I suggest you do some online research to give you ideas. Does she take deliberate actions to purge eaten food when she feels guilty??? this can be hard to manage. maybe making her write a timetable for eating too and eat together all the time. She doesn't purge the food which is a good sign. Us eating together all the time is not possible because of her working hours, she is a youth worker and works funny hours. I need a stable food time and we can't do that if she is at work when that is supposed to be. She is home from work again today, said that she had a really hard day yesterday and that it felt like a brain fog (I thought she said frog) and that everything was going at half speed. She is tired all the time and very fragile right now. I'm worried about her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted June 25, 2008 id suggest she goes to her GP. You need to talk to her about why she eats when she does. It might be as simple as bad habbits, comfort eating etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGeek Report post Posted June 25, 2008 id suggest she goes to her GP. You need to talk to her about why she eats when she does. It might be as simple as bad habbits, comfort eating etc. She saw the dr yesterday and they have passed her on to the mental health triage person, only problem being that there is a 6 week waiting list. I know that she eats as a coping mechanism, she comes from a very emotionally repressed family, they all do it. It is more than that sometimes, as she could be perfectly happy and as long as she has money and food even better. She has rather low self esteem with regards to her body image. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted June 25, 2008 well food can still be a coping mechanism and more healthy. I used to comfort eat a lot and i found a good way of coping with it is to replace the unhealthy foods with healthier lower fat versions. Or ditching chips and replacing it with pasta or rice or similar substitutions. Then she can limit the intake of calories yet still meet her coping mechanism needs until she can deal with the psychological issues and reduce the need for a coping mechanism. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted June 28, 2008 Oh, SG, I don't really have any advice, I'm sorry, but I can sympethise with your wife. I've never suffered from an OCD, but I do tend to turn to both my emotional crutches when times are tough- namely food and cigarrettes. Do'nt like myself for succumbing to either, and the body image thing was (and is) another problem area for me. Doesn't remove the worry for you, but I must say that having (and knowing that you have) the support of one you love is invaluable at these times, so keep doing what you're doing as it will help her. Warren's suggestions are good-if there's only carrots and cucumber and other healthy things in the house, then that's what you'll eat- just make sure that they're items you really enjoy. Not going to fix things, but it might help with weight issues. I hope things get better for you guys. Take care, Esther x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
