Staying out of assembly

[worn-thin]

My son has only just been diagnosed with AS.

 

The school has been punishing him for spinning in assembly for a year now and refused to take him out of it previously.

 

The consultant was shocked when he heard my son was being forced to attend assembly considering the behaviour he exhibits when there.

 

Now he has a definite diagnosis can I insist he is left out of assembly even though the school won't receive the written report for a few weeks yet?

 

I am so heartbroken that my son has been subjected to this and I just can't bear the thought of him having to suffer any more.

[Flora]

I think it will depend on the reason why you want him to be excused.

 

If it's because of the behaviour he exhibits, I think the school may be loathe to do this because of their inclusion policy.

 

If he is finding the assemblies stressful then that's a different matter.

 

My son had panic attacks in assembly. He would find the room tilting and spinning and had tinnitus. He would at times be physically sick afterwards unable to function for most of the morning. We had to ask ourselves what was the most beneficial, assembly or being able to attend the morning curriculum! He has severe sensory issues and we think this is all part of it. He hasn't been to an assembly since 2006 and even though he struggled when he was still in mainstream he did find his day got off to a less anxious start by being excused from assembly.

 

Flora

[pearl]

As far as I know (correct me if I'm wrong anyone) attendance at assembly is not compulsory. Peeps remove their children for religious reasons etc? I think it would be far better though if school could simply accept your lad's behaviour, maybe ensure he is placed near the back of the room so he doesnt disturb others too much? When JP was little, he couldnt keep still in assembly but no one made a big deal about it, in fact the HT used to revel in telling stories about him creeping along the lines of children, popping up his head at random intervals, he said he never knew where he'd be next! But he never made it into an issue, & eventually JP grew out of it.

[sueeltringham]

My son had problems with assembly and other events in the hall. Part of the problem was where he was sat. A specialist teacher worked out that he was best if he was at the front, but on the end. He copes quite well now and has stopped all the spinning behaviour, but if he does start to look distressed, then his LSA takes him out. This seems to work really well.

 

Sue

[sesley]

My son has only just been diagnosed with AS.

 

The school has been punishing him for spinning in assembly for a year now and refused to take him out of it previously.

 

The consultant was shocked when he heard my son was being forced to attend assembly considering the behaviour he exhibits when there.

 

Now he has a definite diagnosis can I insist he is left out of assembly even though the school won't receive the written report for a few weeks yet?

 

I am so heartbroken that my son has been subjected to this and I just can't bear the thought of him having to suffer any more.

 

 

 

 

hi i have a high functioning asd 8 yer old, i requested that he didn't attend the closing assembly on Friday,(highland schools now on summer break)because he can't deal with big crowds, end of term services invite parents and i didn't want him to be a side show entertainment ,from his stress,for people who didn't understand and i am glad i did, he's ok usually up to apoint whne he gets restlesss and they take him out so i decided to spare him all this on friday,so if you feel missing assembly is best for your child then do so,there is no point if he can't cope and gets stressed by various things around assembly,the crowds,the noise,the lights the smells the language etc.Mummy overide is best.

[pookie170]

I think you've got every right. They can't be unaware of the distress your son goes through every time assembly rolls around and I think your request is the right thing for him. This is something that could be worked on- for instance, if it gradually gets reintroduced, and your son knows he is allowed to leave when things get too much for him, it may help him cope with it in dribs and drabs to start with. If he had a bladder disorder, would they force him to stay till he wet himself? I don't think so. If they balk, go back to your consultant and see if he might help.....could be useful to have medical backup. Or even just ask him if the school could contact him for confirmation,praps?

 

Funnily enough Flora, my lad was excluded/excused from assembly for BOTH the reasons you mentioned- his behaviour was terribly disruptive (down to the ADHD in part, I think.) but brought on by his inability to cope with the noise and number of people (the AS bit!) and the close quarters the kids were in......

 

Hope you find a less stressful solution for your son, Worn-Thin, hope the school agree.

 

Take care

 

Esther x

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Clearly this is not acceptable for your son to effectively be punished. Your son likely spins because it's a stressful environment for him to be him. My son's assembly lasts 40 minutes and they keep saying he's fine, yet I have the meltdown on a Friday morning! I've insisted that he tries assembly, but is not forced to stay, but rather he be given a time out card as a way of letting a teacher know he's stressed and needs out. Also, I've asked that he be given breaks or alternatively be given the option of attending first or second half of assembly. Is suspect reason that they're reluctant is because that means a member of staff going out with the child - who knows? HT keeps telling me that he's fine, but I've explained that it is recognised both by the school and by specialists that he has difficulty concentrating as well as sensory issues - this means noise, heat, etc are all effectively amplified and can overload him. Just because he manages one session, doesn't mean he'll manage others - it depends what topics are being covered and what grabs his attention.

 

I've document what you've said in writing and insist that some kind of strategy by implemented. If they refuse/don't, might be worth doing as I've done on occasions, and take him in late.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[oxgirl]

When my lad was at primary he was terrible in assemblies. He couldn't keep still and would make continual noises and when he'd had enough he'd just simply shout 'I'M BORED' at the top of his voice in front of the whole school! School tried various different things to try and help him to cope better. They tried him sitting at the side on his teacher's lap, they tried giving him toys to hold and fiddle with to occupy him, they tried clearing a space around him to give him lots of room. In the end what they did was to take him for a little while and when he became too noisy or wriggly the teacher would just quietly take him out to the library and let him read. This was a good compromise, he was being included and was taking part for as much as he could tolerate, but they didn't try and force him to stay beyond his capability to do so and didn't punish him if he was noisy or stressy, they just quietly acknowledged that he'd had enough and take him out. All the other kids accepted this without question. Good luck, hope your school can find a solution that is acceptable for all.

 

~ Mel ~

[bikemad]

Assemblies aint compulsory-a little girl in my lads class stays out of assembly cos she is a jehovah witness and so does my nephew for the same reason.

[Thompsons]

If he's finding it distressing, I think that you have every right to request that he be excused from going to assembly. And they certainly shouldn't be punishing him!

 

Levi also disliked assembly, when he first started school, he'd refuse to go to assembly at all. Now he's not so bad and will go, but he does sometimes crawl around the floor and they take him out if he appears to be distressed.