fiorelli Report post Posted July 7, 2008 L has this new 'thing'. (well, I say new, but it has been happening for around 4 weeks now, but we have been trying to ignore it) He pulls his trousers and pants down to 'bare' himself. Sometimes it is for no apparent reason, others it is to get a reaction as he knows that we don't like it (bad move from us in beginning where we used to tell him off for it, we now largly ignore it and carry on as normal in an attempt to take the attention away from him doing it iykwim), other times he just 'does' it and laughs. We have tried talking to him in moments of calm that it isn't acceptable... That people could be offended... that he could get into trouble if the police catch him... that his bits are private... that no-one really wants to see his bits... We mentioned to resi (actually saying that, I'm sure I've mentioned it on here before...) about it, who told us that it may be in response to another child in resi who is going through some 'changes' and often walks around in the mornings standing proud (but doesn't know how to deal with it). How can I get it through to him that it isn't acceptable to be baring yourself to everyone? The other, which really is a 'new' thing, is that he will deliberatly bend over and break wind, or he will lie on the floor bring his knees to his ears (he is hypermobile) and break wind, or while we are at the dinner table... (I think you get the picture)... all are followed by the phrase "Cor, that sounds like a wet one! <snigger>" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BusyLizzie100 Report post Posted July 7, 2008 The other, which really is a 'new' thing, is that he will deliberatly bend over and break wind, or he will lie on the floor bring his knees to his ears (he is hypermobile) and break wind, or while we are at the dinner table... (I think you get the picture)... all are followed by the phrase "Cor, that sounds like a wet one! <snigger>" I don't mean to belittle the issue in any way, but... I'm not sure they ever grow out of that one! Although I suppose that time and place should play a part eventually... Sorry, have to share this one: my darling husband broke wind the other day and the aroma was so powerful that it made our five-year-old gag... and actually throw up. Fortunately it was on an empty stomach. Seriously though, It sounds like you are doing your best in trying to minimise the impact it has on you and your reaction, which is what I'd suggest. Sounds like the 'wet one' coment is a learnt phrase?? you could try giving him some more appropriate phrases by repeating them every time he breaks wind, so hopefully he'll forget the unpleasant one? Lizzie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted July 7, 2008 Nightmare!!! My boy does the last two, very recently, in fact since he started at his new school in February. When he went into emergency respite in January, one of the other boys used to bare himself and I was told that j did it on 2 occassions during meltdowns, but have not seen it at home, Yet!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted July 7, 2008 REECE has just started pulling his trousers down and bearing his bottom we do try to ignore it and have also told him he shouldnt do it now try to ignore it sorry not much help love donnaxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted July 7, 2008 When B went through a streaking phase to annoy his sister, he was 10/11 and had hit puberty early. So he'd strip and trot to the bathroom, and if he met her (carefully timed) he'd stop and have a jiggle because she would scream like a peacock, which amused him. So I hit him where it hurt...cold hard cash. He gets pocket money, so I fined him 50p an incident. No anger or yelling, more like a Two Ronnies sketch. He lost about a fiver before the incidents tailed off as he calculated that his fun was getting too expensive. Mum used the same tactic when we were children, you give pocket money so that you have something to take back! It is merely a suggestion that worked for us, but B does have something of the dragon about him and losing part of his potential hoard was painful. So he stopped. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hassleabe Report post Posted July 8, 2008 L has this new 'thing'. (well, I say new, but it has been happening for around 4 weeks now, but we have been trying to ignore it) He pulls his trousers and pants down to 'bare' himself. Sometimes it is for no apparent reason, others it is to get a reaction as he knows that we don't like it (bad move from us in beginning where we used to tell him off for it, we now largly ignore it and carry on as normal in an attempt to take the attention away from him doing it iykwim), other times he just 'does' it and laughs. We have tried talking to him in moments of calm that it isn't acceptable... That people could be offended... that he could get into trouble if the police catch him... that his bits are private... that no-one really wants to see his bits... We mentioned to resi (actually saying that, I'm sure I've mentioned it on here before...) about it, who told us that it may be in response to another child in resi who is going through some 'changes' and often walks around in the mornings standing proud (but doesn't know how to deal with it). How can I get it through to him that it isn't acceptable to be baring yourself to everyone? The other, which really is a 'new' thing, is that he will deliberatly bend over and break wind, or he will lie on the floor bring his knees to his ears (he is hypermobile) and break wind, or while we are at the dinner table... (I think you get the picture)... all are followed by the phrase "Cor, that sounds like a wet one! <snigger>" my 14 year old also does this just hoping he doesnt do it now he is at residentail school Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fiorelli Report post Posted July 8, 2008 Thanks for replying all. I still find it strange that so many people on here have/are going through the same sort of stuff that we are... Bard, unfortunately, L can take or leave money, so that is a non-starter, and his playstation/DVD player are being held up as rewards for going to bed properly, he's not bothered with sticker charts, jars with stuff in that you put in/take out are also a no-go... actually, along with a social story (Thank you, you know who you are!), I think I AM going to do some sort of reward. He loves going to the cinema, He really wants to go and see Speed Racer (anyone seen it? Is it suitable? Gonna have to do some research on it before I suggest this to L), so I think I'll do some sort of visual thing, aim for 1 sticker an hour - he is up from say 6.00am till (Supposed to be 8.00pm...) but more like 11.00pm so that is....17 hours ...so he needs to aim for...7 stickers? on a saturday and sunday, (4 for a Friday night?) for the weekend, next saturday he comes home, he gets to go to watch Speed Racer at cinema. He gets the stickers for not baring himself for the hour. (would love to say baring himself AND breaking wind, but think that may be asking too much!) Sorry, type-thinking then! But what do you think of it, do you think it would be do-able? (My only downside to this, would be if he doesn't get the required amount of stickers, then he will still want to go to the cinema, and will have major meltdown when told no as he hasn't earned all his stickers...) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 8, 2008 (My only downside to this, would be if he doesn't get the required amount of stickers, then he will still want to go to the cinema, and will have major meltdown when told no as he hasn't earned all his stickers...) Hi Fiorelli, the above is the whole point though isn't it? That he learns there are negative consequences (for him) if he doesn't earn the rewards? Of course he will kick against it if he doesn't quite manage to earn the rewards, but if it didn't 'hurt' then it wouldn't be a proper 'consequence' IYKWIM. Sounds like a good plan what you've come up with. If he doesn't quite manage it the ensuing melt-down will be worth it for the valuable lesson that will sink in, as long as it's made clear to him why the privelage was taken away. Good luck! Flo' X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fiorelli Report post Posted July 8, 2008 Flora, don't get me wrong, I do strongly believe that he has to miss something in order to learn from it (IYKWIM), it is just the level of the meltdown that will be the problem, and you may well find me on here ranting about it in a couple of weeks. But no. He has to learn. We have to stick to our guns. This is going to be the 'thing' that we work on. I have a brilliant social story that someone has sent me that I can tweak a little to our personal situation, and that used with the reward thing... I WILL do this. I WILL NOT give in. I WILL NOT let his other behaviours sway my decision on this one. THIS is the behaviour that I want to tackle. ONLY this behaviour gets the stickers - or not. ONLY getting the required stickers will get the cinema trip. I WILL STAND FIRM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted July 8, 2008 You can do it!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 8, 2008 I WILL do this. I WILL NOT give in. I WILL NOT let his other behaviours sway my decision on this one. THIS is the behaviour that I want to tackle. ONLY this behaviour gets the stickers - or not. ONLY getting the required stickers will get the cinema trip. I WILL STAND FIRM <'> Flo' x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted July 8, 2008 (My only downside to this, would be if he doesn't get the required amount of stickers, then he will still want to go to the cinema, and will have major meltdown when told no as he hasn't earned all his stickers...) My response sounded so calm and sensible, didn't it? I missed out the yelling, flailing pinwheel of fury. Then having to wrestle him to the ground whilst I removed money from his cash stash. The outwitting him as he tried to hide his money so I couldn't take any, and the roars of rage when it didn't work. It's long and hard and you need to keep saying your mantra, which I intend to print out and keep. <'> We will all be here and we will understand when you rant and feel that there is no progress...and we will be here to celebrate when he finally understands that the rule is inflexible and will always be applied. And when he gets all his stickers, we will have a forum cheer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted July 8, 2008 GO GIRL!!!!!!!!! <'> Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted July 8, 2008 Hope the new plan works for you hun. My lad has a fascination with his 'bits' but not so much showing them off but literally hand down pants playing but he can be wandering round the supermarket n you look down n he is doing it!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
