Not in a good place right now

[ScienceGeek]

For a while now I've been highly anxious when I leave the house alone to the point where I will avoid leaving as much as I can, sometimes I may not leave for a couple of weeks. Just walking down the street to get chinese the other day sent me into a panic, and this place is only 3-4mins down the road. It's like I'm constantly on edge and trying to process everything around me, like I can't block anything out, it all becomes a jumbled up mess. I've been getting fairly regular amounts of sleep but waking up frequently during the night with panic attacks and nightmares.

 

At the moment we are packing our stuff up in preparation for moving. I'm revising for exams and writing essays on top of that I'm having to chase people up about getting the help I need and preferably a diagnosis sometime. The move and everything is stressing me out so much right now.

 

Today sent me over the edge, I went to the station to get the train to Filton I had worked it so that I had just enough time to get there and walk to the letting agents (I was going on my own on the train). I hate being late, I get really really anxious about it. The train was running late and I was 15mins late to the letting agents, they were fine and relaxed about it and there was me stressed beyond belief. This is the positive part, the flat was great even has a garden!

 

On the way back I went back to Filton station and there was a horrible thunderstorm and lots of rain, I had to choose between getting soaking wet or standing in a shelter that really smelled of wee and sick. I chose the rain as I would have thrown up otherwise. This is when the trains were yet again delayed and getting cancelled, there was hardly any information on what was going on so I panicked. The train finally turned up 20mins late, stuffed full of people. I managed to find a seat but was stuck next to a group of girls that insisted on shrieking every few minutes. I don't remember much between getting on the train and about 5mins ago.

 

In September I'm going to take up karate lessons at the uni, I found the structure and routines calming. Any other positive coping recommendations would be greatly received.

Edited August 12, 2008 by baddad

[Tally]

It sounds like maybe blocking out some of the sensory input might help. Wearing earplugs or an mp3 player may help during daylight, but I wouldn't recommend it at night. It might be worth seeing an optometrist to see if coloured lenses might help.

 

You're obviously under a lot of stress at the moment. Would it help to write a list of everything you need to do, prioritise and schedule it? Your mum or wife might be willing to help you break it down into manageable chunks, and perhaps prompt you to do things.

[ScienceGeek]

Thanks for the reply Tally, I try to use my mp3 player when out and about. It helps to a certain extent. I already have coloured lenses from Ian Jordan, another thing that has helped greatly. Thanks for the suggestions

[JsMum]

It sounds like your really stressed out, your spending long hours indoors too, this for me would make me feel orfully lathargic, I stongly recommend that you look also at the root causes of your nightmares and PAs as they sound like there is a deeper cauase, could you look into some private councilling or therapy, we see a physiotherapist for manipulative therapies, to reduce to the tention, that sits deep into layers of muscle and tendons.

 

It sounds by your reactions of going out also that your becoming very fearful, fear will cause anxiety to increase as your in the flight or fight responce.

 

I would look at some theraputic interventions such as breathing excercises and relaxation CDs, what about going to the gym for a bit of physical expression, get rid of some of that pent up anger you have, box excercise, or swimming.

 

It sounds like your in a real cycle, and its feeding from each other, if your moving and studying too then it will spiral, is there any chance of a break from the studies until your settled at your lovely new flat, then when you have experienced a few relaxation CDs in your garden and got control of the fear when you go out then slowly look at going back to studying, it sounds like your overloaded and some prioritising is needed.

 

PAs are horrible but they can be overcome if you have the right solution, breathing excercises and cammamile tea is one I swear by.

 

Your doing really well too, remember how difficult even sleeping was for you, so you see you have done well too.

 

JsMum

[ScienceGeek]

Hey JsMum,

 

Stress is definitely a big factor. The thing is everything that needs doing is unavoidable, the studies everything. I'm doing resits because I messed up the first time, I really want to get on to the degree program. Getting myself through uni is really important to me. There is a positive though, once the stress of the next few weeks is out of the way I have a couple of weeks to settle into our new place before the induction week then another couple before lectures start. Just need to hold myself together and get things done for now. :whistle:

 

I have a gym membership at the uni gym but I can't afford to get there at the moment as saving all spare money for moving (It is paid upfront for the whole year, so is valid until January). Part of me can't wait to get back as they offer karate lessons for �1 a session. I may pop in there on the days I have exams, work off a little of the stress then. I may give our exercise dvds a go at some point as well.

 

I've started using the lava lamps and listening to sigur ros before bed and that has helped me get as far as getting some sleep.

 

SG

[pearl]

I'm sorry things are so tough at the mo SG <'>

[ScienceGeek]

Urgh. Things went downhill after leaving uni, nearly got run over 3 times (as in very damn close), some guy who was running late decided to barge into me at the train station and missed the train and decided to get abusive Stomach is bloating and I know I'm heading for a bad IBS attack night Ears and throat hurt and generally not happy right now.

[Tally]

Ack, what a day!

 

Are you home now? Hope you get a relaxing evening.

[ScienceGeek]

Yeah am home now, just having a play around on the internet then will probably just lay down on the sofa to watch some films tonight.

[Tally]

Sounds like a good plan.

 

I think you deserve it after doing your exams anyway

[Enid]

Have a lovely chill out evening, Hope you feel better tomorrow <'> Enid