I'm a bit shocked!

[jlp]

Ds#2 has just started Reception 4 weeks ago, we've had various concerns about his behaviour which have increased over the last year and he's just started the assessment process - we've had a home visit, ADOS and on Friday a school visit.

 

He's started a completely different school (as it has a Key stage 2 ASD unit which ds#1 has just transferred to and we need them to be at the same school for practical reasons) and has caused havoc! He's been sent home 4 times, twice in this last week and there have been urgent referrals made. He lashes out at the other children, hits / scratches / kicks the TA, is obsessed with squirting the water fountain all over the wall and won't stay in the classroom so ends up being chased (laughing as he goes) through the school.

 

I was told on Friday that he is getting a support worker for possibly 5 mornings a week! I'm pleased but really flabbergasted, he must be really bad for this amount of support to be put in so quickly. Ds#1 was extremely challenging too but didn't have any support till Y1 and only got half days when he started Y2. It hadn't crossed my mind to even ask for ds#2 yet.

 

He's so different from ds#1 - our consultant said he made very good eye contact, especially when he's being naughty as he wants a reaction whereas a child with ASD would do what they wanted to do regardless of what reaction they would get and who was watching, so I'm not sure if he'll end up with a diagnosis and if so if it'll be ASD. DS#1 is suspected of having PDA but it's not formally diagnosed in this area, but from the reading I've done it reminds me much more of ds#2. I'm not sure what else the problem could be, but he's getting worse by the day - so oppositional and controlling. He also has bowel issues and his poo ends up all over the floor or smeared on the wall, I'm almost certain there's 'something' wrong.

[KarenT]

Cripes jlp no wonder you're shocked. I know you were expecting a dx but things are racing ahead and school is certainly highlighting the extend of his problems.

 

Sorry I haven't been in touch but as you know things have been frantic my end too (slightly differently but same outcome - not enough time!) but email me a time when you're free and I'll phone you to catch up.

 

Keep your chin up - you know you do a great job but sometimes things are beyond even the best parents

 

Karen

x

[wasuup]

Oh My <'>

 

My ds also 4 is behaving well at school (so far) so I think it maybe not until later on (in year 1 up) that they will recognise any differences although they do acknowledge his co-ordination difficulties. He plays alongside others rather than with and will go and sit alone in the book corner. Academically he appears fine reads fluently and is good on the computer. In the playground, he runs around shouting "sonic" out or talking to himself. He also falls over a lot but doesn't cry. We have had the odd tantrum before or after school and the odd waking in the night. He didn't get that the harvest festival gift was not for him and had a tantrum on the way home about that. Just waiting for this SLT appointment as we know his communication is a difficulty that he has. He also waits until he comes home to do no.2's often in his pants.

 

I know it's not great that your ds has difficulties but at least being obvious he will get any support he needs so if there is an upside to be had then I guess that's it. <'>

[pookie170]

Hey, jlp.

Its such a difficult time, when your child is so disruptive at school, isn't it? I've been there, got the t-shirt, as my lad was exceptionally disruptive and aggressive in the not-so-distant past. I'm not up to speed with which conditions your kids have/are being assessed for, but my lad has AS, ADHD and possible ODD too. The way the first two conditions almost contradict each other flummoxed me mightily, but he's coping better now, thank god.

His behaviour was VERY like your second son's- he appeared to be taking extreme pleasure in the effects of his behaviour, but that wasn't actually the case. His inability to properly convey his emotions really messed around with how others perceived his reactions and reasons....ooh, it was such a strain, my thoughts are totally with you. We were so lucky in that one of his teachers decided to get outside advice, implemented lots of clear-cut strategies and insisted all unit staff follow it (down to phrases used!) and it really, really helped. Won't pretend it solved everything as we decided to try meds a year ago, as things deteriorated again and by gum, he's a different boy.

However the assessment process goes, I hope things get easier for you guys. Wish I had a cartload of sage advice for you, but can only extend my empathy and understanding, and an ear to bend cybernetically at any time you need it! If anything, its the kids whose behaviour at school is unmanageable that get noticed more readily, so this could be a blessing in disguise, iykwim?

 

Take care, and remember there's loads of us you can let off steam to here.

 

Esther x

[joybed]

This sounds exactly like DS1. He too had been going through the diagnosing process for 2 years with a totally useless clinical spychologist who refused to diagnose. WE moved areas and therefore schools after 2 weeks in reception, and although his previous school where he had also been to nursery acknowledged there was a problem they wouldnt refer to anyone, preferred to have my mum in class full time (cheaper that way i guess). We went to visit his new school and i was totally honest with the headteacher (he wasn,t toilet trained, and was very unruly and uncooperative) I also at this time explained a little about ASD told him thats what i though he had and gave him some leaflets. He started school the following day and by lunchtime the head was on the phone saying they had real concerns and could they please refer to ed psych. This was the end of September and he was diagnosed by December. Our school also put in place support without a statemant (18 hours) and he had full time suport within a week of diagnosis.

I also have some concerns about my DS2 although in a totally different way to DS1. Piers is very loud, boisterous, and aggressive at times and finds it almost imposssible to sit still. He does however have a very vivid imagination (although whether some of this is copied from his twin I don,t know). My Mum is convinced he has ADHD and my friend (health visitor) has mentioned Aspergers to me. His private nursery had no problems, but school have already said they have difficulty getting him to sit still on the carpet and that he has difficulty following instructions given out to the class (such as stop drawing for example). I havn,t expressed concern to any professionals yet as DH refuses to believe there is a problem as he doesn,t behave badly for him (I just let the children do as they like apparently). I suppose I have been waiting for schools opinion.