Stella63 Report post Posted October 6, 2008 Hi, I wrote a really long thread last night and somehow deleted it, so here goes again. On friday the boys had their normal morning argument about tv programmes, I took OJ to school, AJ left the house soon after and when I got back, OJ's ds was missing (I have to check things regularly as AJ steals from us all the time if we leave anything lying around). Just recently we have been very suspicious about drugs and he seems to getting into something really deep. He constantly says he needs money 'cos he owes a mate', his own playstation has disappeared, I overheard him offering someone my ds lite (Iknow it was mine because he listed all the games I've got and he had got it hidden in his bedroom). But this is the first time he's taken anything from OJ and I think he is getting desperate. He completely denied it of course and has been extremely angry and abusive all weekend (which I think is a kind of guilt thing). I had to get OJ out of the house yesterday because I was afraid AJ would hurt him. We actually asked him to leave the house last night which he did but then came back. He has refused to go to school today and is still asleep but I am dreading the confrontation when he does get up. I have spoken to SS this morning and told them we can't cope - she did say that there is a new service in our area for these kind of problems so waiting to hear back from her. We spoke to the police on friday (we know them quite well now!) and they picked AJ up and searched him but he didn't have anything on him. They are coming here at lunchtime to discuss what to do - they could arrest him if that's what I want and i don't know if it is. He doesn't seem to be bothered at all by the police or spending time in a cell (been there, done that attitude). Infact absolutely nothing fazes him and I now think he needs some kind of psychiatric help (but even the private psychiatrist he sees can't get through to him). Where the hell do we go from here? A very stressed and upset Stella Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted October 6, 2008 Oh Stella, I really feel for you, just popped home for lunch so not got much time, I think it is perhaps time for a bit of independant living now, he has no thought for your feelings, Is he 16? I seem to think that he is, perhaps SS could get him a flat and you could parent from a distance for a time, I really dont no what else could possibly work, Dont think I am all that far behind you at the mo. much love <'> <'> <'> <'> keep strong. Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted October 6, 2008 Just writing to give you some sympathy. My Twins are 15 and they are driving me mad between them. I found out one had used drugs several times (do you know the signs? I noticed once that he seemed "merry" but noticed no other signs. If he is using drugs, it may make him extra irritable and aggressive). The other is of the "whatever" ilk - not caring about anything except his friends and msn. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted October 6, 2008 Stella, I am so so very sorry to hear this you must be at your wits end. I hope the visit from the Police earlier has given you some useful and proactive advice. Thinking of you ~ <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stella63 Report post Posted October 6, 2008 Thanks guys, I don't know what I'd do without this forum - it is so incredibly supportive! The police were brilliant - said they couldn't really arrest him as no evidence etc but offered to take him to prison for a day 'crime diversion' its called, apparently very hard hitting. Because it is voluntary they 'suggested' to him that this was an option instead of arrest which he has agreed to do. They also have a 'boot camp' thing where they they go away for a week and are worked really hard. They have psychiatric teams there and apparently a lot of the kids actually begin to open up and it can be a really positive experience. I said yes to that!! And when AJ got up today it was as though nothing had happened - all the anger and aggression of the weekend was gone. Trouble is that OJ can't let it go (and he is very black and white with his thinking) so this is causing continued aggravation, anyway, things are calmer now inspite of me having to go the dentist today for a crown!! I hate the dentist!!!! Stella x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted October 6, 2008 Aw bless you Stella....dentist not nice ! Glad to hear the police were helpful, the "boot camp" thing sounds great. Hope you manage to get to the bottom of what's been going on for AJ. <'> <'> <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
