moving

[julie-2]

Hello again all, hope your all well.

 

I have asked for help with regard to my 8yr old daughter in the past who has asd and epilepsy, and attends a resource unit attached to a mainstream school, and you have all been reallly helpful.

 

I am at present in a 2 bed council house and have been waiting for a 3 bed since my 8yr old daughter was born, but with no joy atall, thats why I applied to Lincs council, as my sister lived there. The house is a 3 bed housing association house in Lincs nearer to my sister, well about 20 mins away from where the house is located. Initially I have wanted this move for ages now, but now its come about, I am all over the place, uncertain in so many ways about whether I would be doing the right thing by moving my son out of schools, at such a crucial time. Also moving from a city life to a country style lifestyle, I think I could adapt to ok, its my son i'm worried about, as he always seems to want everything on the doorstep and to hand.

 

We have also had some trouble over the last few months with gangs, and my son has been attacked, and threatened 3 times recently, with knives. I suppose in a way this could'nt have come at a better time for us , after what happened with my son and everything, but there dad has also said that he will be staying in London as his work is there, and he will not be coming with us if we move, (long story that one).

 

My son also sees a doctor at CAMHS for anger isssues and takes medication to help this, so I am also really worried that if he does start getting violent towards me at home again, or gets in with a bad crowd again, then I will have no-one to turn to what with being in a new town and everything, there dad has even said not to phone him if my son starts creating problems for me again, you can definitely tell he's against us going.

 

Anyway if anyone has been through similar would be great to hear some positive outcomes.

 

Thanks again

 

Julie

 

 

[chris54]

Hi Julie

 

Iv done the big move thing twice.

 

First time moved from south to Yorkshire. To be nearer to my now wife.

 

First time bit of a disaster bough house on an estate that turned out to be going down hill fast.

 

I was seen as the posh one - WE -I come from Eastend London nothing posh about my. Any way stayed for about 2 1/2 years then moved south with wife and 2 and a bit kids. That was 9 years ago.

 

Then this year bought a house in Lincolnshire.

Best move we ever made. Nice house nice neighbours, Much better school for son now 8.

Older 2 had already moved back to Yorkshire and now live with their gran.

 

Al I have to do now is find a job of some sore as cash is running out fast.

 

One thing that we have found is, our son had only just been diagnosed with ASD/AS before we moved.

 

We have found that thing here are done completely differently. Better but different.

 

The whole proses seems to be done from a different starting point.

 

Things like "who is his Pediatrician". where we came from Pediatricians don't get involved with diagnosis, only if there is some other issue afterwards that requires their input and then only as very much as a consultant.

 

So we have had a lot to learn, the School seem impressed with all the reports that have been don on our son. Trouble is, as we now know, nothing much was being don't to address the issues that were being raised in the reports, but if you don't know any different, well you don't know.

 

To sum up, it really depends on what your expectations are.

Only you know if area is better than were you are now.

Don't see why your son should not get the help needed in now area, it may take a while to sort out but should be there.May even be better like we are finding.

 

I would go for it.

 

Chris.

 

 

[peaches]

Are you able to enquire about the CAMHS service in your new area?

 

I moved to avoid anti social behaviour last year and it was the best move we ever made, but the move prior to that was the worst move we ever made. I think you have to stake out the new area and see how it feels. You can do that if you have family nearby.

[JsMum]

 

 

I moved recently and its a positive step forward, it has provided more space, and its a safe place, relitively compaired to other areas, that is no area doesnt come without some trouble, low level anti social behaviour, but on the whole we are very settled and my son adapted to the changes positively.

 

What about contacting some ASD parent support groups and other ASD providers in Lincolnshire, This link is an example.

 

Email, getting leaflets and information early, try and set up things now so its easier with the move.

 

Moving is stressful, it is expensive too, but I know its well worth the effort and stress, because we are a lot more happier.

 

You would be near family too, and lincoln have good parent support groups, the ADHD support group is fantastic, they may know more information on services for children with Special needs, many of the children with ADHD have ASD too so its worth contacting these too.

 

I would look throw the lincolnshire council websites and look throw the areas special needs section, and mainstream schools that have autistic units attatched.

 

If you have waited a long time for this and its come up, id go for it.

 

 

http://www.treehouse.org.uk/treehouse-serv...colnshire-2008/

 

JsMum

 

 

 

 

[Enid]

I would think what happened to your son is good enough resson to move!! I have a 19yr old and they are hard work at the best of times Could you have him stay with your ex husband? and just come to you for holidays? Js`mum is right, I live in a village in a really nice part of england, and there is still low level violence, if you didnt have kids in their teens, you probably wouldnt know, but its there, all the same. Good luck <'> <'> Enid

[julie-2]

hello all

 

thanks again to all your positive replies.

 

After going up to Lincs on Thursday and looking at the house inside, and visiting the school we thought would be suitable for my daughter, things have gone pear shaped. I really thought everything was going to work out ok, but after visiting the school with my daughter an asd school supposedly, the head teacher seemed to think she would not be suitable for the school, and after me looking around I felt the same, it looked just like an ordinary primary school, the kids seemed very well behaved, and were all sitting nicely in class doing their work. Where my daughter attends a resource unit in London its nothing like that, the kids seem to just be able to have a lot more scope to move from class to class etc, and someone is always either getting told off or having time out.

 

Anyway I had set my hopes on this school, and the head of the school gave me a list of other schools I could try, we visited two other schools, but these were for more severe learning difficulties and were also not suitable either.

 

After returning home I tried looking up other possible schools, and found there was a school with a language unit attached to it, which is very similar to what she's in at the moment. I contacted them but they could not tell me whether there would be any places coming up, and to ring the Lincs council education dept, and see what they could suggest.

 

I also rang another school who asked me if I could come and visit them next week, even though there were no places available until next September, this was a school for moderate learning difficulties, for kids from 5-16, so I am hoping that may also be a possibility.

 

After being told that my daughter would not be able to attend the school we thought would be our first choice, I felt under pressure, and backed out of the offer for the house, now I am kicking myself, because the school for moderate learning difficulties said that I should just apply for their school anyway,even though there's no places until September, if I had taken the house and she had no school, then they would have had to consider a place for her.

 

I feel absolutely gutted and have cried today, I feel that I may not get another chance like this for a while, even though they have said I can still bid, who knows how long it will be before the next suitable house comes along.

 

Anyway thank you all for your replies.

 

Julie

Edited November 8, 2008 by julie-2

[JsMum]

 

 

 

Hi, sorry your going throw this difficult moment, part of me thinks you really still havent made up your mind about leaving london though, sometimes in life we put our own obsticles in the way, I would really think about why lincshire will be better a bit more.

 

I would say that this is your best option.

 

After returning home I tried looking up other possible schools, and found there was a school with a language unit attached to it, which is very similar to what she's in at the moment. I contacted them but they could not tell me whether there would be any places coming up, and to ring the Lincs council education dept, and see what they could suggest.

 

And also go back to the council too and explain that you were just worried about your childs education and could they reconsider on the house you where shown, they may have it on hold and the next people to bid may be totally inapropriate to place, so you could be still in with a chance.

 

Also there is more than one housing association, in lincolnshire, so try others and express you are wanting one near as possible to the specialist school.

 

Ideally a multi agency meeting could be looked at and both London and Lincolshire communicating together to ensure the transition goes smoothly as possible.

 

 

New house and new school in one go will be a lot for your child to cope with, but with the right support and transition and services you will get there and soon be settled.

 

 

JsMum

 

 

 

[julie-2]

Hi, sorry your going throw this difficult moment, part of me thinks you really still havent made up your mind about leaving london though, sometimes in life we put our own obsticles in the way, I would really think about why lincshire will be better a bit more.

 

I would say that this is your best option.

 

 

 

And also go back to the council too and explain that you were just worried about your childs education and could they reconsider on the house you where shown, they may have it on hold and the next people to bid may be totally inapropriate to place, so you could be still in with a chance.

 

Also there is more than one housing association, in lincolnshire, so try others and express you are wanting one near as possible to the specialist school.

 

Ideally a multi agency meeting could be looked at and both London and Lincolshire communicating together to ensure the transition goes smoothly as possible.

 

 

New house and new school in one go will be a lot for your child to cope with, but with the right support and transition and services you will get there and soon be settled.

 

 

JsMum

 

Thanks JsMum for the link, and helpful advice.

 

[julie-2]

Hi Chris54,

 

You mentioned in your reply that you had also moved to Lincs, is it possible to ask what school your child attends. If you cannot post the name on here, is it possible to pm me with any details, much appreciated.

 

Julie

[chris54]

Hi Julie

 

I will pm you the school, we live in a large village near Sleaford which is in the Regen of 20 miles south of Lincoln.

 

He goes to a Church primary school so anyone who knows the area will know what school I am talking about.

 

So far I am realy inprest with his school, they seem to be pulling out all the stops to help him.