scatty Report post Posted November 19, 2008 My son was permanently excluded this morning. He had only been in school for 30 minutes when the head phoned me to go in as he had hit the TA. He has been excluded for a day/2 days nearly every week for a while now. Always for hitting staff/dangerous behaviour ie throwing chairs. I have supported the school and done everything I possibly can to help. I requested that his annual review be brought forward and we had that a couple of weeks ago. I know I could have appealed against the exclusions on discrimination grounds, but I'm not sure what the point would be? The school have been constantly inconsistant and I am sure that this has contributed to the worsening of his behaviour. For the last 6 weeks he has been in isolation with 1-1 support, although they have only in the last week and a half put in any structure (strangely it was just before his annual review!). He is just as bad at home, and is violent towards all of us daily. We can't let my 2 yr old in the same room as him and he smashes stuff up/swears at us all the time. I am expecting a baby in 7 weeks and everyone keeps saying that he shouldn't keep kicking and punching me, but what am I meant to do...get rid of him! Someone please tell me that this is for the best. In a way I feel quite relieved as it is now out of my hands, as it has been obvious that the school can't cope with his behaviour, but I was reluctant to move him to a new school of my own accord in case it made everything worse, but I am worried about what will happen. TIA x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joybed Report post Posted November 19, 2008 Don,t really have any advice but just wanted you to know i was thinking of you. Maybe now you can start looking into a suitable placement that will meet his needs. I know what you mean by what i am supposed to do, I am always being told i can,t put so much effort into Marcus at the detriment of myself, apparently i spend too much time fighting for my kids, but what kind of a Mum would i be if I didn,t do this. I am the only one who can get their needs met and yes i get stressed and tired but thats the way it is. Try to take of yourself and the others. Hope things settle down soon. sorry i can,t offer any constructive advice. PS hope your little girl is the perfect little princess mine is, it is so nice having a little girly and has really put me in touch with my feminine side. I have never worn so much pink as i have in the last four years, I even had pink hair extensions at one point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MurphySG Report post Posted November 19, 2008 I'm really sorry to hear how ough things are for you and your family at the moment. I can't tell you it is for the best for definite, but I will say that getting excluded in year 5 from a school that was wholly unable to comrehend let alone meet his needs was probably the best thing that could have happened to my son. He ended up in a PRU which turned him round, calmed him down and gave him the space to learn the strategy of stepping away rather than exploding. (The behaviour you describe at school & home rings many bells :/ ) I have to say though that the only reason exclusion was a positive experience was the excellence of offer from the PRU. we were very lucky and I owe them a massive debt of gratitude He was successfully re-integrated into primary in yr 6. Secondary is still a work in progress though... Chin up - from what you say it was not going to work. He has to be provided with an education - they will have to pull something out of the bag. Is Camhs helping? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted November 19, 2008 Hi and <'> <'> <'> My DS was excluded just after his 11th birthday, yes it was a relief. Like you, people say to me how do you put up with it, he is violent, and is now as big as me, but what can you do!!! I am looking for a residential placement, but at 7 that is not really an option. does your 13 yr old go to a special school? my son at nearly 7 I am now wondering about, my oldest was never diagnosed but would prob have been AS if he was, my daughter, just 10, has been a delight <'> she will probably hate me when shes older as she suffers at the hands of the 13 yr old, yet she loves him dearly in spite of it, and she gets so little time, but is a lovely little girl. I have no advice at the mo, its late will try again tomorrow, but just sending you sympathy cos I sure do know how you are feeling right now. Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alisonatt Report post Posted November 20, 2008 my son was also permanently excluded from his school at the begining of oct, he is 6 years old and was doing same things your little one was, only he does not hit me or his dad his older brother gets it all, in a way i was glad my son got out of that school as it was not right for him the head teacher use to call him names and they did not have a clue how to deal with my son, at first i had no idea what to do but with a lot of help from parent partnership who have been a god send i got him into a short stay school were there are only 5 in his class and are trained to handle children like my son,he seem more happier now though he still has his moments i know that will never change but he likes going to school now and is happy to go every morning, sometimes i think its for the best then least you know your son will get the help he needs and hopfully a school which is right for him, hope everything goes ok i know its a real stressful time but there is light out end of the tunnel Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pumpkinpie Report post Posted November 20, 2008 The thing is by not appealing this is all going on his recordds when really it shouldnt be. The school needs to be following proper procedures, getting the appropriate help and not fobing eveything onto your son. How will they ever learn otherwise. I t also doesnt help you in geting alternative specialist provision. Take care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
