Reasonable Adjustment?

[pearl]

Ever since JP started his apprenticeship nearly 18 months ago, he's snacked on a sandwich mid-afternoon to keep his blood sugar levels up (we worked out years ago that his behaviour deteriorated rapidly if he didnt eat at regular intervals) He sits at his desk & continues to work whilst doing this, & in the different departments he has worked in, no one has had a problem with that.

 

He came home v upset today & said that his line manager had told him he had to clock on & off if he wanted to continue doing this. She said "everyone else seems to manage" without eating in the afternoon. Thing is, he's worked for her for a year & she's said nothing before. He's no idea now what to do tomorrow. If he goes without eating, his behaviour will deteriorate. If he clocks the time, he'll lose flexi. Its knocked his confidence as he'd no idea she had a problem with this.

 

We talked it through with him & suggested he talks to his apprenticeship supervisor who may be able to help smooth things over for him (she's v good). I offered to email her in advance of his visit in case he got too upset to express himself, & he agreed. My view is: if he was diabetic, they'd have no problem with him snacking. A wonky metabolism often goes hand in hand with AS & should be regarded as part of his condition. Plus, in most public sector jobs (mine included) you are allowed a paid 10 minute break morning and afternoon. He's not even taking an afternoon break as he's working while eating (I checked he wasnt getting food on the work, he isnt, its when he's inputting data into his pc so no prob there)

 

So, after months of non-involvement, here I go again, trying to strike a balance between helping and interfering, all the time without antagonising anyone important. Wish me luck.

[bid]

Just a quick thought...I can understand that as a younger child his behaviour deteriorated if he didn't eat mid-afternoon, but now he's an adult are you definitely sure the same thing will happen?

 

Bid

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I see absolutely no reason why your son should have to clock on and clock off for eating a snack whilst still working, since your son isn't taking a break. Would his line manager clock on and clock off for drinking a cup of coffee? It amounts to the same thing.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline

[TheNeil]

Could he try eating something like a cereal bar or chocolate instead? A lot of firms that I've worked for see something like a sandwich as 'food' whereas a bar of something is considered a 'snack' (and, for some bizarre reason, 'food' stops you from working, but a 'snack' doesn't - don't ask me, I don't understand it either). It might only be a small adjustment but it could be enough to make the difference.

 

Just a thought.

[Mumble]

Hi Pearl <'> <'>

 

I think it's a good sign that he's happy for you to email his supervisor before he talks to her (although to me that also shows that he's really worried by this - generally I only let others 'interfere' (not saying you're interfering btw, just how I interpret it when others try to sort my messes when I want to take responsibility ).

 

I also think you're right about the 'other medical conditions' and I wonder if those going for fag breaks have to clock in and out? Possibly there's an issue with the type of food? Crumbs can be a killer for keyboards - would it be possible for him to have a more 'snacky' food that would do the same - like dried fruit or something similar - that way too it's less of eating and more chewing on the job if that makes sense.

 

I do know what you mean about low blood sugar and changes in behaviour - I'd be careful how you word behaviour though because I assume you aren't meaning he'd go round practising his jujitsu on the nearest person and you wouldn't want to help them make the autism/violence link - I don't know about JP, but for me it's a case of less concentration and more irritable - i.e. I would reach the 'trip switch' earlier.

 

Would it be easier for JP to receive requests such as this in writing (say by email)? That would seem to be a reasonable adjustment because I know I find it a lot harder if someone is (or I believe they are) telling me off face to face.

 

[pearl]

Just a quick thought...I can understand that as a younger child his behaviour deteriorated if he didn't eat mid-afternoon, but now he's an adult are you definitely sure the same thing will happen?

 

Bid

 

Yup, I've seen the results when he doesnt eat regularly. He gets extremely irritable, & slows down, a more mature version of whats being going on for years. Not very desirable at work.

[pearl]

Could he try eating something like a cereal bar or chocolate instead? A lot of firms that I've worked for see something like a sandwich as 'food' whereas a bar of something is considered a 'snack' (and, for some bizarre reason, 'food' stops you from working, but a 'snack' doesn't - don't ask me, I don't understand it either). It might only be a small adjustment but it could be enough to make the difference.

 

Just a thought.

 

Yes, I thought that too - he's happy to compromise with a banana or similar so maybe thats the way forward.

[pearl]

Hi Pearl <'> <'>

 

I think it's a good sign that he's happy for you to email his supervisor before he talks to her (although to me that also shows that he's really worried by this - generally I only let others 'interfere' (not saying you're interfering btw, just how I interpret it when others try to sort my messes when I want to take responsibility ).

 

I also think you're right about the 'other medical conditions' and I wonder if those going for fag breaks have to clock in and out? Possibly there's an issue with the type of food? Crumbs can be a killer for keyboards - would it be possible for him to have a more 'snacky' food that would do the same - like dried fruit or something similar - that way too it's less of eating and more chewing on the job if that makes sense.

 

I do know what you mean about low blood sugar and changes in behaviour - I'd be careful how you word behaviour though because I assume you aren't meaning he'd go round practising his jujitsu on the nearest person and you wouldn't want to help them make the autism/violence link - I don't know about JP, but for me it's a case of less concentration and more irritable - i.e. I would reach the 'trip switch' earlier.

 

Would it be easier for JP to receive requests such as this in writing (say by email)? That would seem to be a reasonable adjustment because I know I find it a lot harder if someone is (or I believe they are) telling me off face to face.

 

Thanks Mumble. Yes as I said to bid, its more like you described, irritability & concentration problems rather than kicking off. The email idea is something I hadnt thought about - he did find it difficult to be confronted, couldnt think fast enough to explain why he needed to eat, & it wasnt in private either. In fact the more I think about it the more I think his line manager has screwed up, tbh.

 

Ok I'm off to write "the" email - thanks for your thoughts folks.

 

[Kathryn]

Good luck with the email and with finding a possible compromise. I think Mumble's suggestion of dried fruit is good. Apricots or dates give a good sugar boost and aren't as obvious as a sandwich which you have to get out and unwrap.

 

K x

 

 

[chris54]

Just a little story,

 

One work situation I was once in, when our supervisor come round which was normally in the afternoons he would bring a selection of chocolate bars for us and we would all sit round and do nothing while eating them.

 

Just shows how different people can be.

[pearl]

Ok, its sorted, hopefully.

 

Got a really nice reply to my email from JP's apprenticeship supervisor explaining what happened today. She, JP & his line manager had a meeting to sort things out. As I suspected (but of course I only hear half the story unless I contact work) he was taking a very long time to eat his snack in the afternoon, & it was affecting his output. He meanwhile was under the impression he was multitasking successfully! His line manager admitted she'd got cross with him when usually she is very patient.

 

So they thrashed out a compromise & he (& I) now have it in writing. He's agreed to take a 10 minute break around 3 in the afternoon, during which he does nothing but eat. Then he works solidly till hometime, & if he's walking home, maybe a quick snack after he's clocked off to keep him going. He's happy with that as its clear & unambiguous. I'm going to work on getting him to accept "easier" snacks than a huge sandwich, maybe a banana & some cashew nuts, which he loves & will provide protein.

 

She was also really positive about the stuff he is getting right. Everyone there wants him to succeed & work there permanently. He really has been very fortunate indeed in finding such a supportive place. Remember he went for an apprenticeship where I work? Well those poor lads arent having half such good support as JP.

 

So, here I am, fading into the background, until the next mini crisis. Sometimes this is just as hard as full on parenting.

 

Thanks for all your support

[Mumble]

That's all good news You can even get one of those banana cases and then explain to me how the design works to accommodate the different shapes and sizes that bananas come in

 

So, here I am, fading into the background, until the next mini crisis. Sometimes this is just as hard as full on parenting.

Maybe you'd like to take on my 'mini crises' (and I'm sure others here would volunteer their crises too) and between a few of us we should be able to present you with enough problems to take on to substitute for a full parenting role.

 

[zaman]

That's a great result, well done all for averting crisis.

[pearl]

Maybe you'd like to take on my 'mini crises' (and I'm sure others here would volunteer their crises too) and between a few of us we should be able to present you with enough problems to take on to substitute for a full parenting role.

 

Hmmmm, I'm tempted .... not!

*runs for the hills*

 

 

[Mumble]

Hmmmm, I'm tempted .... not!

*runs for the hills*

But I have Jaffa Cakes...

 

[pearl]

*hesitates .......*