kinky j Report post Posted February 1, 2009 I have a bit of a dilemma, I managed to arrange another meeting at the fabby SEN school (after C's current school called me out of the last meeting to collect him) and we have to be there tomorrow morning. The problem is that C has now been put on part time hours at school and will be at home when we're meant to be there. Now I don't know whether I should take him with us or ask my Dad to come sit with him while we go. His current HT has suggested that we don't make a big issue about the possibillity of changing schools to C as it may confuse him and make his behaviour worse, and I can kind of see her point, And I know, from experience, how tricky it can be to take in important information while making sure C is behaving (not running round, climbing, eating, breaking or hiding in something he shouldn't ). But on the flip side, I have always tried my best to keep him informed and involved in any decisions about his life, I'd like him to have the opportunity to see the school and make his own mind up about it too. After all, he's the one who'll be going there. And I'd kind of like to see how the staff interact with him, If only to put my mind at rest, cos after meeting so many proffessionals who end up knowing less about Autism than I do, this school seems (to the pessimist in me) too good to be true, if that makes sense. So, should I take him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted February 1, 2009 Hi If time allows, you could ring and ask if it would be appropriate to take him. Alternatively, I'd try and make arrangements for him to stay at home with someone so that when you attend the meeting you're completely free to discuss things without interruptions or because you feel you have to be careful what you say in front of your son. It's great that you try to keep your son informed, part of things, but I note that he's only 5 and so not all decisions/discussions are appropriate for him to be present. You could ask for a separate appointment when you could bring your son to meet staff, etc. Hope it goes well. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted February 1, 2009 I'd be inclined not to take him. Thinking of my lad at 5, he'd be just as likely to say he liked the school because he saw a nice toy car in one of the classrooms as anything else. I wouldn't expect him to make an informed judgement about the school and whether he'd be happy there, I don't think I could even trust him to do that now! Like the HT says, it's probably best not to build it up too much. If you were to take him, say, and he said he loved it and then, for some reason, you decided it wasn't going to be right for him, then he could end up disappointed and confused. Once the decision has made might be the right time for having a casual visit rather than before, I would think. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chris54 Report post Posted February 1, 2009 I think it really depends on how you think he will react. If it was me I would probably take my son along but not tell him it was a school he would be likely to be going to. Say something about going to see what other schools are like to see how different or the same they are to his present school. But that is my son and I know how much information he will absorb and what interpretation he will put on things. And once there he would be happy to go off with someone if we needed to talk privatly. But as I said you know your son. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted February 1, 2009 Totally agree with oxgirl. That is what I did with my son (when he was 7, and again aged 10). My son would have liked some of the schools that were not appropriate for him (eg: because they had a pond!). He may also have seen something at the school that was best for him, that put him off (eg: they didn't have a pond!). I would go to this meeting without him and concentrate on getting all the information you need. You need to make a note of all the releveant details - it is so easy to forget what was said once you come home. I find it hard to ask questions eg: "what would you do if he .....?" without either making my child feel awful or giving him ideas! eg: one school told me that if he broke a window, they would send him home. I am sure my son would have remembered that on those occasions when he wanted to come home. Ceratinly, do not take him without checking with the school first. When I did take my son to visit the school, they had a member of staff that showed him round the school and spent some time with him without me around. If you do decide that it is the school for him, you can "sell" it to him, by highlighting all the things that he will like, and underplaying the things he won't like. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peaches Report post Posted February 1, 2009 If youre going for a meeting and a discussion with the head or the staff, dont take him. You can always take him at another time to just show him the place and see how it suits him. I know what theyre like when youre trying to have a meeting with someone, they compete for your attention and then you end up being too stressed to take anything in and forget to ask those important questions. When I changed school with our eldest child (NT) husband and I went to first meeting alone, then made arrangements with school for visits. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kinky j Report post Posted February 2, 2009 How typical! I arranged for my Dad to come over and watch C and now all the schools are closed due to the snow! I have to re-arrange the appointment I guess i can arrange it for when he'll actually be at school (and hopefully we'll have the car fixed too, I wasn't looking forward to walking it!) Thanks everyone! KJ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
