Sooze2 Report post Posted February 22, 2009 (edited) Said the consultant 2 weeks ago Thankyou I replied, youve really cheared me up! I didn't really I just said "oh" went a bit quiet and took his Melatonin Prescription and for an added bonus Concerta prescription and said thank you! Sorry, just wanted to write it down - I feel quite sad. Her voice saying those words keep coming into my head. I was hopeful that he would grow out of it or eventually learn to stop some of the things he does through being consitant but now she has said that I haven't got the "If we try this he may just........................" to cling onto anymore. Trouble is, he's fine in many ways so I thought she was being a bit harsh really. His freinds think he's great there are just some little quirks and foibles which we handle but a lot of them are quite endearing and some are hard to manage. Perhaps I have a family with a lot of quirks and foibles and most people would find them odd but I think they are fairly normal. We/they are just very individual in their thinking shall we say! Edited February 22, 2009 by Sooze2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sooze2 Report post Posted February 22, 2009 See, I see life as a series of obsacles to over come. To say something like that is not encouraging any possitives at all is it! DS is a lot like my DH who has a job, several houses, a wife, kids etc etc but he went through similar stuff as a child with no help what so ever - just back to back detentions for years on end at secondary school. WE have told DS all this, even DH told him that he is like him and look how happy and successful he is in life - positive - not you are doomed boy!!!!!!!!!!!!! We shall overcome. He's gona be fine and do the best he can do with what he's got. So there! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 22, 2009 <'> She's not god. She doesnt know for sure. And she has no right to be so harsh. Theres a difference between being realistic & being harsh. Sounds in your 2nd post like you are getting your fight back. Good. You show em <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
heleno Report post Posted February 23, 2009 a few years ago women couldn't become doctors, thank goodness that all changed, maybe this lady should look back at the history of her sex and profession before she states 'things cannot get better' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted February 23, 2009 I thought people in the medical profession agree to 'do no harm'? What a fabulously crass and fatuous thing to say- I thought it was people on the spectrum who were meant to be insensitive?!?! You know, I think you should go back and see her and tell her how her thoughtlessness has affected you. She has no right to make such sweeping statements. Did she also get a PHD in fortelling the future? Hmm....thought not! And bolster yourself with the thought that she is, quite simply, wrong. Of course, no-one outgrows an ASD, and I don't believe they outgrow ADD/ADHD either.....they are lifelong conditions, yes? BUT That does not make positive developments unattainable. Not at all. And being consistent in your approach to dealing with the less acceptable of your son's behaviours is just the ticket, IMO. Good Gravy, your son has reached the grand old age of 9 and she's.....what, writing him off? Well, S*d that for a laugh! What tripe!! He's just as capable of making progress as anyone else, though it's likely to be rather more difficult for him. The upside is that all achievements are that much sweeter for him. As Pearl says, all parents have to be realistic about what their child is likely to achieve, and one of the hardest things for me, on learning of my son's AS, was readjusting those goalposts. But its not as if all NT kids grow up to be triathlon-winning, Nobel-prize-winning,Michelin-star-winning geniuses, is it? Or even as if all NT kids grow up to understand, respect and adhere to social mores..... One of the things that has most influence over how a child turns out is the support and stability they receive at home. Something tells me your boy's going to be just dandy, hon. He's got you guys, after all. Have a <'> from me, then go and chill. Esther x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted February 23, 2009 I thought people in the medical profession agree to 'do no harm'? What a fabulously crass and fatuous thing to say- I thought it was people on the spectrum who were meant to be insensitive?!?! You know, I think you should go back and see her and tell her how her thoughtlessness has affected you. She has no right to make such sweeping statements. Did she also get a PHD in fortelling the future? Hmm....thought not! And bolster yourself with the thought that she is, quite simply, wrong. Of course, no-one outgrows an ASD, and I don't believe they outgrow ADD/ADHD either.....they are lifelong conditions, yes? BUT That does not make positive developments unattainable. Not at all. And being consistent in your approach to dealing with the less acceptable of your son's behaviours is just the ticket, IMO. Good Gravy, your son has reached the grand old age of 9 and she's.....what, writing him off? Well, S*d that for a laugh! What tripe!! He's just as capable of making progress as anyone else, though it's likely to be rather more difficult for him. The upside is that all achievements are that much sweeter for him. As Pearl says, all parents have to be realistic about what their child is likely to achieve, and one of the hardest things for me, on learning of my son's AS, was readjusting those goalposts. But its not as if all NT kids grow up to be triathlon-winning, Nobel-prize-winning,Michelin-star-winning geniuses, is it? Or even as if all NT kids grow up to understand, respect and adhere to social mores..... One of the things that has most influence over how a child turns out is the support and stability they receive at home. Something tells me your boy's going to be just dandy, hon. He's got you guys, after all. Have a <'> from me, then go and chill. Esther x Totally agree with you, Esther. In fact, DH and I filled out a questionnaire last night about the progress we feel DS has made in the last 6 months. It made a lovely change from all the negative forms (DLA etc.) and we were amazed at how much he's achieved when we actually thought about it Yes, it's a lifelong condition, but it doesn't mean that he can't learn to cope with it and do amazing things. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 23, 2009 Maybe she meant 'better' as in the fact that he's not going to grow out of his autism, rather than 'better' as in progress? Just a thought... Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted February 23, 2009 <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sooze2 Report post Posted February 23, 2009 Maybe she meant 'better' as in the fact that he's not going to grow out of his autism, rather than 'better' as in progress? Just a thought... Bid I'm sure youre right Bid, she's a lovely lady and very understanding, I think its more me finally accepting that I can't "fix" him and make him happy which I see as my job as mummy. In a lot of ways he's just an average kid especially when just being at home doing what he wants so when you need to be out and about and he can't cope it hits you hard in the face that he struggles with the things we don't even think about. It's definately me who has the problem with it now rather than others saying the wrong thing. Its so nice to be able to come here and sound off and talk yourself around isn't. Thankyou! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted February 23, 2009 Hi Sounds like this was a very clumsy attempt to state that having an ASD is a lifelong condition, in a rather negative, thoughtless and tactless way. On a positive note, whilst that may be true, maturity and experience can go a long way - it's amazing how much progress someone with an ASD can make in certain areas. Chin up. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edith simon Report post Posted February 23, 2009 Said the consultant 2 weeks ago Thankyou I replied, youve really cheared me up! I didn't really I just said "oh" went a bit quiet and took his Melatonin Prescription and for an added bonus Concerta prescription and said thank you! Sorry, just wanted to write it down - I feel quite sad. Her voice saying those words keep coming into my head. I was hopeful that he would grow out of it or eventually learn to stop some of the things he does through being consitant but now she has said that I haven't got the "If we try this he may just........................" to cling onto anymore. Trouble is, he's fine in many ways so I thought she was being a bit harsh really. His freinds think he's great there are just some little quirks and foibles which we handle but a lot of them are quite endearing and some are hard to manage. Perhaps I have a family with a lot of quirks and foibles and most people would find them odd but I think they are fairly normal. We/they are just very individual in their thinking shall we say! Dear Sooze2, It is awful what he or she said and it is not true!!!!!! I have received that kind of response from proffessional all the way /my son is 23/ since early childhood.If I had beleiveved them........No I did not believe and look at my son he is in his flat although with help,he is very helpful with cooking,shopping,gardening ,cleaning etc. He has asd and severe learning difficulties but have a quality of life. A lots of my aquantances with asd have listened to these ackward people and the kids were given up and they are in different "live in" homes and stayed where they were as the parents listened to professionals and lost faith. So please do not!!!!!!!!!!! My greatest enemeies have been all the time the professionals and they are still.Just had a big row with a consultanta and we are going to change him.Hopefully the next one will be better. My attitude has become towards them actually I have a T shirt for these occasion on which it is written:"if you cannot help at least do not cause any harm,please.Thank you" Not that I had the courage to wear it,.........but now I shake them of if they are not helpful. On the way there were a few helpful too.maybe one out of ten........ Wish you a lots of strengh and wisdom hoew toget what you want from these proffessinals and forget them what they say as soon as you can. Best wishes, Edith Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted February 23, 2009 <'> <'> <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
