Is this "stimming"?

[-A-]

Some people might find this slightly offensive - as in gross, disgusting, yucky etc. Sorry if you do I hope I've put it in the right place... I should hope that by age 19 and 5/6ths that I am "beyond adolescence"!

 

I know that having "stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms" is one part of the diagnostic criteria for Asperger Syndrome. When I had my assessment, I said that I didn't really do that (although I do rock sometimes <--- it's a joke about "rocking" ).

 

More recently I read a blog by a person with AS saying that they stimmed when they excessively bit their nails and the skin around them. I didn't (and still don't) know if this is included in the "stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms" part. I don't bite my nails, but when I was a young child, I did. Ever since I can remember, though, I've picked the skin from my fingers until they bled and were red raw. I used to walk around with my fingers looking like I'd been burned, they were that bad. I would have to pick and pick until the skin was acceptably smooth and continuous with the skin around it.

 

I still do this, though often not to the same extent... although, I've realised that I do it very often - I can't remember a time when I have actually had unbroken skin on my thumbs .

 

I know it wouldn't change anything about my diagnosis if it was or wasn't something to do with AS; I'm just curious to know if it is an AS thing and that other people do this too, or if it's just me!

[isme]

My 8 year old son does this, has done since he was really tiny. He was only given the dx on Friday.. I dont know whether this helps you or not! I know today he has picked it really badly and it does look more like a burn..

[oxgirl]

My lad's fingers are in a shocking state at the moment. He has nibbled and picked each one, like you say, until they are red raw. You can actually see the difference in the layers of skin that he has pulled off one by one and the skin of his fingers is growing over the ends of his fingers where his nails should be. He says he can't stop doing it. I put it down to stress and anxiety. He is 15 and is trying really hard in lessons at the moment, whereas he just used to let rip before. I think the extra strain of keeping himself together in lessons is leaking out of him in other directions and making him more anxious, leading to the picking and biting.

 

~ Mel ~

[TheNeil]

I don't think that this is specifically an AS 'trait' but possibly the anxiety and stress of having to deal with AS means that you're more likely to do it. I know several people (both Aspies and non-Aspies) who do this and, in my opinion it's more of a stress thing. Like yourself I used to bite my nails (for as long as I can remember) and tear at the skin around them and this went on for years (in fact it's only in the past six months or so (I'm 34 BTW) that I've managed to reach a state where I can 'control' it - and even then I still have to almost fight myself when I'm under stress).

 

In my opinion this is more a form of 'self-harming' that, possibly, gives you a semblance of 'control' in stressful situations - you're having to do this as it's something that you're in charge of. The alternative viewpoint, depending on how it affects you and what drives you (and the element of your brain that makes you do it) is that this is something that you may always do and it's akin to an animal in a cage - you have to keep a close watch of it and if you let your guard slip, the 'animal' has a chance to 'escape'...and you do it almost with realising or thinking about it. Doing things like this isn't always a conscious decision and you can be so focused on something else that you're chewing on a nail or pulling at skin without realising it.

 

Personally I don't see this as a form of stimming (I stim 'classically' too - foot tapping, head rocking etc. and, to me, the two are different in some way - they don't produce the same internal response) but that is only a personal opinion. Whether it's right or wrong is another matter and something that only you, as an individual, can decide. I'm certainly not going to say whether it's right or wrong but what I would strongly advise is that you possibly look at what's driving you to do this - is it 'stress relief' or is it that 'animal in a cage'? Once you can identify that then you can, hopefully, find ways to better deal with it and end the need to do it. Whatever you choose though, do it for you and not for others. And if you're not sure whether you can discuss it openly (or whether you even want to discuss it openly) then PMs to the mods are a great option - they'll be able to either clarify if what you're asking is acceptable or not, or maybe point you in the direction of either forum members to ask or resources that you can contact.

 

On a slightly more practical and 'immediate' level, antiseptic cream is a God-send.

 

And, rest assured, it might seem gross and offensive but there are people who have dealt with this too and, can, hopefully, offer good advice etc. You're not on your own with this one.

 

[-A-]

I do feel anxious most of the time. Lots of things that might seem small or insignificant to other people can make me stressed.

 

Added on top of the social pressures, the course I do at university (it's very "social"), and the workload (whoever said that students don't do any work hasn't met this one! ), I guess it does add up to a lot of underlying anxiety. I have always done this, though. Maybe before, there were other triggers.

 

I've actually never thought of it as a stress thing before... I'd actually not really thought about it much (apart from attempting to hide it when I realised other people generally didn't do this too!), despite having done it for a really long time.

 

this is something that you may always do and it's akin to an animal in a cage

 

Often I don't realise I'm doing it - in fact, I'd say most of the time I am not aware of having done anything until afterwards. This could still mean it's due to stress; but would probably make it more difficult for me to do something about it, because I'd have to first bring it into conscious awareness every time.

 

I'm not really sure what to do. I mean, yes, it could be classed as a form of "self harm". I don't know if it's doing any psychological harm.

[Tally]

Self harm is when you deliberately harm yourself, so this is definitely not a type of self-harm. It wouldn't cause psychological damage beyond your worries about what other people think about this habit.

 

Even if you were able to make yourself consciously aware of it and eliminate it, you would still be left with the underlying issues which led to it happening in the first place. They are what you need to address in the long term.

[TheNeil]

I do feel anxious most of the time. Lots of things that might seem small or insignificant to other people can make me stressed.

 

Added on top of the social pressures, the course I do at university (it's very "social"), and the workload (whoever said that students don't do any work hasn't met this one! ), I guess it does add up to a lot of underlying anxiety. I have always done this, though. Maybe before, there were other triggers.

 

I've actually never thought of it as a stress thing before... I'd actually not really thought about it much (apart from attempting to hide it when I realised other people generally didn't do this too!), despite having done it for a really long time.

 

Often I don't realise I'm doing it - in fact, I'd say most of the time I am not aware of having done anything until afterwards. This could still mean it's due to stress; but would probably make it more difficult for me to do something about it, because I'd have to first bring it into conscious awareness every time.

 

I'm not really sure what to do. I mean, yes, it could be classed as a form of "self harm". I don't know if it's doing any psychological harm.

Hmm, can't really tell you what to do as what works and is right for one person isn't necessarily right for someone else (same goes for whether this is causing any psychological harm - some people will find it a problem, some won't). Stress does often seem to be a big part of this kind of behaviour and, even though you consciously know that it's 'wrong', when your mind is focused on something else (e.g. work, being stressed), your subconscious doesn't always stop you from doing it (this is what I was on about with animals in cages - you need to keep consciously watching it all of the time otherwise it escapes. Your subconscious can often learn to, at the very least, share the job of being 'lookout' so that when your conscious mind is elsewhere, the animal isn't running wild, resulting in you attacking your fingers).

 

The fact that you don't realise that you're doing it is all too familiar - ditto 'small and insignificant' things causing you to get stressed. What I've found worked for me (i.e. you could give this a try if you wanted to) is making sure that I consciously know where my hands 'are'. If I know that I'm going to be doing something that's likely to take my full attention, I put my hands in such a state that they can't hurt themselves. If I'm reading a book then I sit on one of them (don't laugh, it's damn hard to pick at something if you're sitting on your hand ), if I'm working and it doesn't involve both hands then I make sure that my 'jobless' hand is 'busy' (either being sat on, holding a pen or whatever). Physical activity or sensation is actually very useful as by having constant sensation, you can, over time, get your subconscious to point out when the physical sensation has stopped (e.g. you put the pen down).

 

This may not work for you, it may not work all of the time and it can take a while to get your brain conditioned so that it automatically keeps your hands 'busy'.

[pearl]

Self harm is when you deliberately harm yourself, so this is definitely not a type of self-harm. It wouldn't cause psychological damage beyond your worries about what other people think about this habit.

 

Even if you were able to make yourself consciously aware of it and eliminate it, you would still be left with the underlying issues which led to it happening in the first place. They are what you need to address in the long term.

 

I'm a bit confused by that, Tally. Sometimes I hurt myself unconsciously, sometimes deliberately - is one self harm, the other not?

[Tally]

I don't think it's right to describe all self-inflicted injury as self-harm, no. I have cut surfaces moving the knife toward me, and ended up cutting myself before. I know it is dangerous to cut in this direction. I know you are supposed to cut away from your body. I deliberately failed to follow this advice and ended up hurting myself. I cut that way because I was too lazy to do it properly. I cut my hand with the knife I was holding in my other hand. I would not describe this as self-harm, and I don't feel it is indicative of a mental health problem. I have taken items out of the oven and forgotten to put on the oven gloves, resulting in a nasty burn to my hand. This is a bit different to the incident with the knife as it might indicate that I am thinking about some serious issues which I should get help with in order to prevent another similar incident. But I still don't feel that this was self-harm as I did not plan to get burnt.

 

Some people pick the skin around the fingers because they want to see blood, or because the pain provides them with some kind of good feeling or relief from unpleasant emotions. This is indicative of mental health problems, but can also lead to becoming addicted to the behaviour, which can lead to self-harming with increasing severity - but it is not what the OP is describing.

 

Absent-mindedly picking your fingers, biting your nails, fiddling with a sharp object, are all completely different, and indicate a different set of mental health issues. There are occasions when it might result in more serious injuries than deliberate self-harm, and if there is a risk of serious injury then it is obviously essential toget help as a matter of urgency - but that does not mean that the underlying causes are the same, or as severe.

Edited March 3, 2009 by Tally

[pearl]

But, if you do exactly the same thing to yourself - but sometimes unconsciously, sometimes deliberately when distressed - thats what I was meaning. Do you differentiate there?

[bid]

Also, I think that with stimming there is a sort of rhythmic repetitive quality to it, whether it's rocking, flapping, blinking, moving fingers/toes, etc. that's from my personal experience, anyway!

 

From the little I've read about self-harm, so happy to be corrected if I've got it wrong...isn't there the endorphin rush bit about the pain, too? There isn't anything like this with stimming.

 

Bid

Edited March 3, 2009 by bid

[oxgirl]

My own thoughts are that self-harming behaviours stem from frustration and anger turned on one-self, whereas picking at fingers is more of an unconscious habit, even though harm is the outcome it's not necessarily intentional.

 

~ Mel ~

[Tally]

Yes, the endorphin rush associated with the pain is what can be so addictive. Vigorous exercise also creates the same endorphin rush, which is why it can be a good way to deal with urges to self-harm.

 

But, if you do exactly the same thing to yourself - but sometimes unconsciously, sometimes deliberately when distressed - thats what I was meaning. Do you differentiate there?

 

I would, yes. It's likely that different triggers are at play. It might be that the unconscious injuries have resulted in the pleasurable endorphin rush. In a person vulnerable to self-harming, this may lead to them repeating the same injuries deliberately.