Its goodbye from me

[Daisydot]

When I joined this forum three years ago, I found the replies to my posts really supportive and helpful and others posts interesting and informative.

 

However, after more than two years away from the forum, I returned recently to start using the forum again. I was surprised to see that there was only a few members names at the bottom of the page, wheras two years ago, there would have been four or five lines of names online. However, I have realised that the forum has changed, and not for the better.

 

I am leaving the forum because I have realised that certain individuals seek to bully and dominate the forum with their opinions and make it difficult for others to have helpful and suportive dialogue. Having read the replies to other people's posts it is clear that this is happening thorugout the forum, albeit by a small number of members.

 

I would like to say thank you for some very informative and interesting replies, and dialogue and some good laughs from the "off topic" section.

 

 

Edited March 28, 2009 by Daisydot

[frogslegs]

 

I am sorry that you feel that way.

When I joined this forum three years ago, I found the replies to my posts really supportive and helpful and others posts interesting and informative.

 

However, after more than two years away from the forum, I returned recently to start using the forum again. I was surprised to see that there was only a few members names at the bottom of the page, wheras two years ago, there would have been four or five lines of names online. However, I have realised that the forum has changed, and not for the better.

 

I am leaving the forum because I have realised that certain individuals seek to bully and dominate the forum with their opinions and make it difficult for others to have helpful and suportive dialogue. Having read the replies to other people's posts it is clear that this is happening thorugout the forum, albeit by a small number of members.

 

I would like to say thank you for some very informative and interesting replies, and dialogue and some good laughs from the "off topic" section.

 

[baddad]

Hi daisydot -

 

I'm sure the moderators/administrators here would not allow bullying etc on the forum. Possibly you have misinterpreted occassions when people have held different opinions to yourself as 'bullying'. This seems to happen quite often. The word 'bullying' is extremely emotive - by definition it implies unreasonable behaviour on the part of one or more parties and defines other(s) as 'victims'. Those are extreme stereotypes and judgements to apply to people purely because they disagree with you or your views. Personally, I regard unfounded allegations of bullying to be...erm... bullying!

 

The aim of any forum is the sharing of opinions perspectives - and a forum should be a place where this can be done without bias, with defined 'rules' to insure that all opinions - even those that might be less popular - are acknowledged provided that they are relevant and presented in a way that adheres to the rules. If that is not happening here, I haven't witnessed it - or at least I have not seen it go unchallenged by the moderators on the very odd occassion that it has arisen.

 

For thinking on any subject to evolve that kind of mutual acceptance has to be a 'given' though some people may find it personally challenging to have their views opposed in any way.

If you look at any social 'rights' issue - be it sexual, racial, or political, the problem has inherently been the 'popular' or 'traditional' perception of the problem, and positive change has always arisen from challenges to those traditional values. That is the value of open (and civil) dialogue.

 

I'm sorry you no longer feel the forum meets your needs. I think that's a shame, because the advice given by members on the forum is given (I'm sure) in good faith, regardless of whether it is or isn't the advice the poster wanted to hear. If you think of advice as ice cream, there are some flavours you might like and some you might not like. You don't have to eat the flavours you don't like, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are unpalettable. 'You pays yer money and takes yer choice'.

 

If you decide to stick around, try some of the other flavours - who knows, you might get to like 'em! If not, very best wishes, and I hope you can find a vendor who stocks the flavours you prefer.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

 

[NickyB]

When I joined this forum three years ago, I found the replies to my posts really supportive and helpful and others posts interesting and informative.

 

However, after more than two years away from the forum, I returned recently to start using the forum again. I was surprised to see that there was only a few members names at the bottom of the page, wheras two years ago, there would have been four or five lines of names online. However, I have realised that the forum has changed, and not for the better.

 

I am leaving the forum because I have realised that certain individuals seek to bully and dominate the forum with their opinions and make it difficult for others to have helpful and suportive dialogue. Having read the replies to other people's posts it is clear that this is happening thorugout the forum, albeit by a small number of members.

 

I would like to say thank you for some very informative and interesting replies, and dialogue and some good laughs from the "off topic" section.

 

So sorry you feel that way, Daisydot

 

Personally, I have not seen anything I would consider to be 'bullying', certainly not without it being challenged by the mods. There are always going to be those with strong opinions, and of course those opinions will be diverse. Some topics are very emotive, so it can be difficult to put your point across without appearing to offend (and I really don't think anyone sets out to do that).

Of course, everyone is entitled to give their views as long as they are respectful and within the forum guidelines. I'm really sad that you feel that has not been the case recently.

I sincerely hope you'll stick around, and I wish you all the best.

 

Nicky <'>

[Enid]

Have pm`d you. Enid

[Kathryn]

Hi Daisydot,

 

Unfortunately the forum doesn't have a board specifically to discuss forum issues, (perhaps it should have) so I've moved this thread into off topic because it will probably veer off in that direction. Thie original purpose of Meet and Greet was simply to provide a space for people to introduce themselves and say if they weren't going to be around temporarily or permanently. If you or anyone else wants to start another thread in Meet and Greet just for goodbyes and good wishes, feel free.

 

Sorry you feel that way about the forum - if you had come to us with a specific complaint we would have dealt with it and you're still welcome to do that.

 

The forum now only shows users online from the last 15 minutes and not the last 60 as it used to, which may partly explain the reason for the small number of names displayed.

 

Sorry to hear you're leaving and I wish you all the best.

 

K x

[chris54]

I cannot say I agree with you.

 

I don't want every one to agree with everyone else. What a sad place that would be.

I want to hear debate, I want my ideas clanged, I want real discussion.

 

We can all just spend our time patronising each other but whats the point in that.

 

 

[lisac]

daisy it could be because the posters have autism themselves. I felt like you at first and then realised that people with autism post here as well and some find it difficult to understand/interpret some of the posts, hence coming across as forceful in their replies, I now know not to take it as offensive.

[JRson]

sorry to hear that

I am a newbie and enjoying being here now.

[mossgrove]

 

Any forum has to strike a balance between unquestioning support for anything a poster says and over-vigorous debate. At times people have strayed towards one side or the other but I am reasonably comfortable with where we strike this balance most of the time.

 

There will be poeple on either side of this who do not feel the forum meets their needs, and I am sorry if you feel you can no longer continue on the forum. You will howeve be very welcome if you wish to return in the future.

 

When you were here the first time there used to be a list of people who had logged in during the previous 24 hours at the bottom of the main page. I have just noticed that it is no longer there and to be honest I have no isea why but I can promise you this not for sinister reasons or because members no longer come here! What you see now is a list of members active in the last 15 mins.

 

 

Simon

 

 

 

[Karen A]

Any forum has to strike a balance between unquestioning support for anything a poster says and over-vigorous debate. At times people have strayed towards one side or the other but I am reasonably comfortable with where we strike this balance most of the time.

 

There will be poeple on either side of this who do not feel the forum meets their needs, and I am sorry if you feel you can no longer continue on the forum. You will howeve be very welcome if you wish to return in the future.

 

When you were here the first time there used to be a list of people who had logged in during the previous 24 hours at the bottom of the main page. I have just noticed that it is no longer there and to be honest I have no isea why but I can promise you this not for sinister reasons or because members no longer come here! What you see now is a list of members active in the last 15 mins.

 

 

Simon

 

Hi Mossgrove.I think the list changed to 15 mins log in some time last year.I may be wrong but I think the change may have come about to try to to reduce the number of computer genetated visitors [can't remember the propper term but you will know ].I know there was a good reason for the decision and it was well thought out and intentioned at the time.Karen.

 

[Enid]

Any forum has to strike a balance between unquestioning support for anything a poster says and over-vigorous debate. At times people have strayed towards one side or the other but I am reasonably comfortable with where we strike this balance most of the time.

 

There will be poeple on either side of this who do not feel the forum meets their needs, and I am sorry if you feel you can no longer continue on the forum. You will howeve be very welcome if you wish to return in the future.

 

When you were here the first time there used to be a list of people who had logged in during the previous 24 hours at the bottom of the main page. I have just noticed that it is no longer there and to be honest I have no isea why but I can promise you this not for sinister reasons or because members no longer come here! What you see now is a list of members active in the last 15 mins.

 

 

Simon

 

I like that "over-vigorours debate " would say that just about sums it up!!!! Enid