When should solicitor get involved in bullying?

[connieruff]

Hi,

I have just requested a SA. Since requesting it, although I had been pretty sure my son had been bullied I could never quite prove that it was happening still and on a regular basis.

To cut a long story short I have been out twice in the last few days with two of my sons schoolmates and their parents and I have been told by both children independently that my son is the butt of jokes, nudges and sniggering while he is in the classroom.

Three boys are doing it - and I actually caught one of them some time ago doing it at the breakfast club, as I had really told him off at the time and he apologised I thought it had stopped. I had told the teacher and have also written a letter to her but had no reply.

He has been very distressed and upset since starting this class and no-one can be quite sure why, although he has Aspergers. I feel in my bones that this bullying is at the heart of the problem and sadness he is having. I had contacted a soliciter - initially to help me out and get advice when (not if!) I am turned down for SA. But the soliciter - who has great experience with dealing with SEN cases and schools says that he will write a letter to the school. I'm not sure this is the best thing, but to be honest they have ignored me and are responsible for great distress caused to my son - is it time now to go to the next stage?

Thanks,

C

 

[bikemad]

<'> Im so sorry your child is going thru this my son has recently had to move school after years of being bullied which the school tried to brush under the carpet. I involved the LEA then the police...my next move would have been a solicitor n local mp.

[Sally44]

Hi,

I have just requested a SA. Since requesting it, although I had been pretty sure my son had been bullied I could never quite prove that it was happening still and on a regular basis.

To cut a long story short I have been out twice in the last few days with two of my sons schoolmates and their parents and I have been told by both children independently that my son is the butt of jokes, nudges and sniggering while he is in the classroom.

Three boys are doing it - and I actually caught one of them some time ago doing it at the breakfast club, as I had really told him off at the time and he apologised I thought it had stopped. I had told the teacher and have also written a letter to her but had no reply.

He has been very distressed and upset since starting this class and no-one can be quite sure why, although he has Aspergers. I feel in my bones that this bullying is at the heart of the problem and sadness he is having. I had contacted a soliciter - initially to help me out and get advice when (not if!) I am turned down for SA. But the soliciter - who has great experience with dealing with SEN cases and schools says that he will write a letter to the school. I'm not sure this is the best thing, but to be honest they have ignored me and are responsible for great distress caused to my son - is it time now to go to the next stage?

Thanks,

C

 

Have you written in again recently?

You could hold off the solicitor for just one more attempt yourself. You should send a letter in the following terms 'further to my letter dated xxx in which I informed you that my son was being teased and bullied in school, I have received no response from you. It has again come to my attention through two different children that my son is still being teased and bullied on a daily basis in school. As my son has a diagnosis of Aspergers, and part of that diagnosis is difficulties with language and social interaction, he finds it difficult to communicate these difficulties either to school or at home. I would like a meeting with the yourself and the SENCO to discuss this and what action school will be taking to ensure this does not happen again and to discuss how school can introduce supports like Circle of Friends. My son is very vulnerable, and these instances are making him very unhappy which is affecting his self esteem.' Obviously change it to meet what you want to say, but I think that gives a general idea.

I would also take the parent partnerhsip with you. If again you get no response that is evidence. If you have a meeting get PP to make notes and for the minutes to be typed so that everyone knows who will be doing what.

If you involve a solicitor things will start to happen. Have you discussed about moving your son to a different school? Have you looked at the different schools in your area? Involving a solicitor will make relationships with school very strained. You must be prepared for that and to be able to work through that in a logical and unemotional way as your child may remain at that school, or may remain there for some time whilst you are looking for a different placement. I am not trying to put you off, because I took the same route.

If you are looking at moving him to another school, it might be worth sending a letter in yourself and requesting a meeting as above to see the outcome of that, whilst also visiting other schools. Then, when you are very clear in mind about where you want him to go you could involve the solicitor.

But remember that the NAS also has helplines and also a tribunal support service. You may find they can help you with this and save you some money. It all depends on whether you feel you can cope with this. I know that it can get very tiring and emotionally draining. If you feel you are at the end of your tether then involve someone else. If you feel okay to keep plugging yourself for some time, then do that.

If your son is showing behaviour at home that you think is down to teasing/bullying in school, or he is at the point where he is refusing school or showing alot of anxiety about going to school, then take him to the doctors and tell them he is being teased and bullied in school and that you feel he is not being supported. Ask the GP to put that in a letter to you ie. in their opinion your son is showing anxiety due to social and emotional problems related to how he is being supported in school and that bullying is also suspected. That is also evidence. And a GP can do this because mine was happy to do it for me.

[Karen A]

Hi.I found this information very good last year when my elder son was bullied.

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-educ...ng-bullying.htm

Karen.

[Kazzen161]

You could ask the school for a copy of their Complaints Policy and follow that. It will probably suggest now writing to the Chair of Governors, who should then ensure that you get a reply and that the problem is resolved. I woudl give a time limit in the letter, by which you expect a response. Then if they then do not respond, you can get the solicitor to write.

 

While you are there, you could also ask for copies of their SEN, Behaviour/Discipline, and Anti-Bullying Policies. You should be able to get these from the receptionist, but obviously the Head will soon get to know that you have asked for them. It's good to keep them on their toes!

[Karen A]

You could ask the school for a copy of their Complaints Policy and follow that. It will probably suggest now writing to the Chair of Governors, who should then ensure that you get a reply and that the problem is resolved. I woudl give a time limit in the letter, by which you expect a response. Then if they then do not respond, you can get the solicitor to write.

 

While you are there, you could also ask for copies of their SEN, Behaviour/Discipline, and Anti-Bullying Policies. You should be able to get these from the receptionist, but obviously the Head will soon get to know that you have asked for them. It's good to keep them on their toes!

 

I forgott to say.If you get a copy of the complaints procedure it should include time limits for how soon the HT should respond to your letter.You could then add in the letter that you anticipate a response by.....date after which time you will escalate the complaint to the next level.

When I went through the complaints procedure last year I found that nobody at a higher level would look at the complaint until we had had an unsatisfactory response in writing from the previous person.So it is worth having a copy of the procedure and keeping an eye on time limits.

The levels were Head Teacher then Chair of Governors then LA.

I hope you have more success than when I asked for the complaints procedure....there isn't one. Karen.

 

[Karen A]

This ACE booklet is very good too.

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-educ...a-complaint.htm

Karen.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

One poster gave some good advice in advising of writing in one last time. It's important that you keep copies of letters, etc and refer to them if necessary. I'd be inclined to write them a letter stating that they did not respond to your last letter - over a matter which should have been taken seriously. State your intention to take matters further on the grounds that the school has a duty of care to your son. Name-drop - state that X, Y, and Z told you that ... Give them a timescale ie 5 working days and specify that the response shoudl be made in writing - phonecalls carry little weight and it's amazing how people can have selective memories! Don't know if you've already done it, but I'd ask for a copy of the schools bullying policy. Board of Governors are also a route, but given the politics that go on in schools, you may not be any further forward.

 

Problem is that if you involve a solicitor, you may be forced to move your child to another school because the 'relationship' between you and the school staff may break down completely. It's a very difficult situation to be in, but one that cannot be allowed to continue as it is deterimental to your child's mental health (self-esteem, confidence, etc).

 

Best wishes with this.

 

Caroline.

[Kazzen161]

I hope you have more success than when I asked for the complaints procedure....there isn't one. Karen.

 

If they haven't got one (and they should have), then they could hardly complain that you did not follow the procedure and went over their heads.

[Karen A]

If they haven't got one (and they should have), then they could hardly complain that you did not follow the procedure and went over their heads.

 

Thats what I did.I went to the LA direct.The LA were not impressed.Karen.

[connieruff]

Thanks everyone for your wise replies. I took your advice and have sent a letter to the head with the copy of the other letter which I had sent to the teacher a few months ago, and to which I had no reply.

I have calmed down a bit now and realise that a soliciter would have been heavy handed at this stage, but I can tell you that I was ready to send in the SAS.

Will let you know how I get on.

The best of this is that my son heard his friend and I discussing this and I read out the letter I sent to the head to him and he has now started to talk to me about it. He seems to realise that it is not nice or right to make other people feel sad.

Cheers,

Cx