Coping with Anxiety

[Salbaggio]

Hi

 

Well the dx process plods on still, Levi is going to be observed in school and referred to a Child Psychologist which pleases me but I am started to realise just how long this whole process is going to take!

 

In the meantime he is spending most of his days at the moment complaining about feeling unwell, sick, having a headache, having a stomach ache. I am certain that these are all routed in his anxiety levels.

 

For example we have just been to the co-op and he went white as a sheet and said he felt really sick. Just to explain I try to keep him off as much dairy as possible because he is very very prone to ear infections, but I have tried to be very relaxed about it so that he would not become obsessed with the matter. Anyway, back to the co-op, after a little chat I realised that this sudden nausea was just because he had seen the chocolate bars. I tried to explain that he could have chocolate if he wanted, that I would make sure he didn't have too much though but I know he is becoming very worried about it!

 

Can anyone suggest any techniques that help with anxiety - he is only 6 years old.

 

We write lists when he is worried about the order that things will happen and that works wonders, a bit like social stories I suppose but I don't know how to help him when he feels this sudden nausea. I can't predict what will set him off.

 

Thanks guys xx

[Diane]

I can only tell you about our experience with out DS. Your poor little chap I really feel for him. Being unwell because of anxiety is just awful.

 

When my son complains of feeling unwell (due to his anxiety) I treat him the same as if he had an upset stomach or other illness. This helps to calm him down and reduce his symptoms. This also stops him having a full blown panic attack. When he is calm I talk to him about how doing something for the first time or we do not like can make us feel unwell and I make up stories of when I was a young girl and felt sick or had a headache, that at first i thought I was ill but eventually realised that it was the thought of having to do something I did not want to that made me feel ill.

 

I used stories around his favourite characters, putting them in similar situation to his own. I would then use this to say do you think you can be as brave as "Thomas the Tank Engine". We also used the Mr Men but I cannot remember which characters. A book I have used recently with him is Scaredy Squirrel by Melanie Wyatt. She has three books out at the moment. They are brilliant at addressing anxiety in young children. I have to say my son was 13 when I used these stories with him.

 

When he has a sudden attack now of being unwell we are able to ask him if he thinks it is because he is anxious. I am sorry to say it has taken us years to get to this point.

 

When he was young we would make sure we had his favourite carton of drink and treat with us. This helped but it is not a cure and relief was only temporary. I am sure you have already being trying this.

 

Preparation for anything is a big key. Although initially this would freak my son out it did eventually start to make a difference. We would also keep a scrap book of things he had achieved. We would record the lead up to an outing and then how he felt, if it was a success and how he felt afterwards. So it became evidence that he could do things. This is how he learnt about feelings. He relates a feeling to an event.

 

I do not know if any of what I have had to say will help. If you need more information on what I have said just ask.

 

Good luck.

[Salbaggio]

Thanks Diane, i can really relate to what you are saying, your experiences are very helpful

 

Sally x

[bikemad]

<'> My son is 'poorly' a lot with his nerves too if that makes sense, no advice to give as im stumped on times lol but didnt want to read n run.

[Sally44]

I always talk through new situations, or old ones I know will be difficult before we go out.

When he was younger he had a pair of DIY ear defenders (from B&Q), which we took everywhere with him. He also wears Irlen glasses. And I would make sure he had something to hold, which he continues to do to this day.

Anyway, if we are going to the cinema, I will ask him 'do you think you need your ear defenders'. And when he is asked he can make a choice. If he doesn't need them he takes them off. He can't necessarily predict that he might need them, I would take them along in the car incase he needed them.

So those things reduced his anxiety at not being able to cope in the environment and not being able to leave immediately.

Other suggestions made sound very good too.

But have you also considered whether it might be the actual environment and the sensory implications that could be making him feel ill. There are many children that get anxious at the supermarket because the lighting, smells, sounds etc are just too overwhelming.

My son also gets alot of headaches and feeling sick. This too was related to both sensory issues and also anxiety about certain situations, especially not coping in the classroom.

Now he is 8 he has improved alot. But he will still vomit when anxious. This leads to him having 48 hours off each time he is sick (because that is the rules), regardless of the fact that I know he isn't ill it is anxiety.

[smiley1590]

i have real bad anxiety issues im 19 though i have AS ,dyspraxia and ova MH probs can anyone give me advise i suffer from bad panic attacks i have social anx too which diagnosed i try make an effort and go out with mates however hard as domn't want to let them down done that enough! just feel so stressed like everything a task i have to do or else i beat myself up over it for ages! please hlp me!X

[wasuup]

Could it also be a visual sensory thing happening with the choccy pics. I hated cream, ice cream and choccy when I was little (I guess I seemed a little weird in that respect) but even ice cream advertised on a shop poster made me vomit. Not a good look when my mum wanted to take my brother into Wimpey for a treat and I vomited in the doorway at the piccy of a bananasplit. So maybe its the association with visually seeing the item that could make him vomit that is a difficulty for him. Perhaps try a "positive diary" where your son has to tell you at least 2 good things he liked about his day? No negatives allowed.

 

With anxiety it is important to try and take tiny positive steps and not to focus on the negative stuff that you want to avoid otherwise its just a circle of avoidance that you get trapped in. Look at what makes you happy and what you can do. Look at what you need to do essentially as life tasks and what you don't. Breathing techniques can be very good for an older teen or adult as can visualizing a fav place, the sights and sounds the type of situation you feel happiest in when you find yourself in situations that make you feel uncomfortable. Practice deep breathing and visualizing at home until they become 2nd nature first.

[Salbaggio]

 

Thanks again for your input, yes I am inclined to think that it is very much a visual sensory thing and I love the suggestion of a positive diary!

 

We have been talking about being positive a lot just lately. Every day when I would ask how he was feeling, the answer would be "a little bit poorly" so I tried to turn this around and explain that he must therefore also feel a little bit well! It didn't really work though because now when I ask how he feels, he pauses, remembers the positivity thing and says "Just a little bit well" in the same sad voice

 

He loves social stories and writing lists so I think if I get him his own "Positive Diary" and pen that he could carry around, that might really help. Do you think it would help him when he is without me at school if I encourage him to write in it when he feels unwell, to look around and find something positive to write, do you think it might help turn the feeling of unwell around?

 

We are going out today with a group of friends to a science discovery place, this will either be a raging success or a disaster.......but being positive I am sure it will be FABULOUS

[wasuup]

How did it go today?

[Teresa]

Hi

when T was about 7 years old I bought some worry dolls they came in a little bag for her, she would tell them what had

 

upset her or what was worrying her, they came with a little story on the line's of, once you tell them your worry they

 

take it away from you etc it was a long time ago my memory is not good at the best of times . She also would

 

draw pictures about how she was feeling, and we would have a little talk if she wanted to. She will be 19 soon and we

 

chatted not so long ago about the worry dolls and how they had helped her as a child, she said it was because they

 

never talked back just listened and back then she thought that they really took her worry's away it helped get her

 

through some real bad years with school etc.. I hope you find something that will help for your son

 

Take care Teresa x

 

 

[Salbaggio]

The day went very well. Because I am more aware of what might cause him anxiety I sat him down and had a good talk before we left. Previously I might have avoided this for fear that it would put the idea in his head that there might be something to worry about. Now I realise that this new and noisy place is almost certainly going to stress him so I need to prepare him for it.

It turned out that he was far more worried than I realised so we talked about the positive things, he was looking forward to the picnic and the playground etc. I reassured him that I knew the way (another thing that worries him) and also talked about the "positive notebook" and we agreed to look in the gift shop for one.

I think this all must of helped because it went really really well.

We had our picnic in an old railway carriage and he really enjoyed it and kept talking about what he was liking about the whole experience.

I think it was a bit much because we have come home and he is feeling poorly (non-specific) again.