The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

[chris54]

What do you think.

[sonj186]

i dont think the odd white lie does any harm, however they need to know the importance off truth in serious situations.

[Emma_74]

i disagree with sonj186 sorry

if they can get away with a white lie the they might progress into bigger lies

 

[lisac]

Emma, there has to be some flexibility for actually being allowed to be a human being though .

[Mumble]

What do you think?

I think it depends on what you mean by 'truth' and the context within which you are asking.

 

My biggest concern however is any differentiation between children and adults. If you are saying they are different in asking only about children as opposed to people, it suggests that there is an understanding of when and where to tell the truth that adults have. In that case, childhood needs to be seen as an apprenticeship into that understanding where mistakes are made and the child helped to develop a more appropriate response.

 

Additionally, because I think I know the impetus behind you asking this, there is a difference between knowing the truth, stating the 'truth' and knowing when to keep quiet. It is not 'not telling the truth' if you don't tell someone who didn't ask if they are fat/thin/tall/short/green/pink/idiotic/'bum looks big in this'/etc.

 

[sonj186]

I think everyone tells the odd white lie, ie recently at my cousins wedding she asked what i thought of her dress i told her it was stunning in truth it was hideous! should i have spoilt her day by telling the truth??

[Emma_74]

a lie in that context is different from a other lie you lied then to save someones feeling which it totally acceptable i didnt mean that sort of lie

sorry

[sonj186]

we are very fortunate with cam, he is very truthful at the mo painfully so at times

[bid]

I think it depends on what you mean by 'truth' and the context within which you are asking.

 

My biggest concern however is any differentiation between children and adults. If you are saying they are different in asking only about children as opposed to people, it suggests that there is an understanding of when and where to tell the truth that adults have. In that case, childhood needs to be seen as an apprenticeship into that understanding where mistakes are made and the child helped to develop a more appropriate response.

 

Additionally, because I think I know the impetus behind you asking this, there is a difference between knowing the truth, stating the 'truth' and knowing when to keep quiet. It is not 'not telling the truth' if you don't tell someone who didn't ask if they are fat/thin/tall/short/green/pink/idiotic/'bum looks big in this'/etc.

 

What Mumbley has said.

 

Bid

 

[Sally44]

No-one tells the truth all the time. Or if they do they probably get socially ostracised. There was an ad campaign run by the NAS in which it showed some work colleagues sat at break together, and one woman was asking a work colleague for her opinion as to why her boyfriend had ended the relationship. The 'autistic' adult in the room said 'maybe it is because you are fat'. I don't know how typical a response that might be. Obviously the NAS thought it was.

 

I don't want this to come across as patronising as there are differing degrees of social ability throughout the NT and ASD communities. But I see the difference as being the difference between social animals and achieving social status and pleasing the social crowd. Someone on the spectrum may not understand those aims, or have those goals or be motivated to engage in that kind of chit chat.

 

I think alot of the skills also boil down to abilities in the area of Theory of Mind.

 

A recent example of my own I will mention is forgetting to get someone a birthday card. When I realised that I had done it I didn't own up to the fact that I had forgotten. I said I had left it at home by mistake. I did that to save the other person from feeling forgotten, and to save my own reputation from appearing as someone who isn't caring or who is totally unorganised.