advice needed

[NobbyNobbs]

we are currently looking after an unbelievably bright 3 year old. she knows days of the week, months of the year, the alphabet, can identify complex shapes such as cone and hexagon, and can tell you why they are that shape, can fill in letters based on sound, ie given a picture of a pig, she can tell you that P fills the gap in '_IG'.

 

we dont know what to do with her!! today we played snap with shape cards and built a 70 piece puzzle, and she could do both easily. she goes to nursery every morning, but its only really for play and her behaviour is terrible, probably because she's bored.

 

does anyone know what options there are for obtaining things to begin educating her. we feel she would be able to begin reading words - she can already tell a story by looking at pictures, and recognises key words, but we dont know where to start, and what to start with!

 

we're rather out of our league with this one, she's clearly far smarter than i was at that age and my IQ is high, but at 3 she's a long way off school.

 

any advice??

[Mum of 3]

Wow! It sounds as if you've got a really clever little girl there!

 

Have you spoken to nursery about her? If her behaviour is poor at nursery and you think she's bored, they should be able to extend some of the activities to offer her some level of challenge.

 

If you want to try teaching her to read, many publishers do 'early reading' books, which use the synthetic phonics approach (in other words, use words that can be 'sounded out', and use alot of rhymes to reinforce the concepts, such as writing a story about a 'fox in a box', or a 'cat in a hat'. Some people love the Dr Seuss books, although personally I don't like them at all, as they use alot of nonsense and I think children like to understand what they read. A good library should be able to advise you.

 

Problem-solving will probably stimulate her, for instance, you could gather alot of different containers of different shapes and sizes, and she could investigate which holds most/least, how many of 'A' would it take to fill 'B', etc...

It's possible to make a lovely mosaic toy by cutting coloured card into diamond shapes (just make sure they're all the same size), then use repositionable spray-mount to spray onto a sheet of card, and she can use the shapes to create patterns...

Is she interested in nature? she might enjoy having a small tub to grow plants in. If she's interested, she could choose her own seeds at the garden centre, by weighing up the time it takes for them to grow, and deciding for herself if she cann wait that long! Pumpkins are great for a project-they grow really fast and can be measured as they grow...

You could even do some experiments to do with conditions for growth-use cress seeds to grow in the light & dark, in the warm & cold, etc...

 

I'll think of more, but it's tea-time!

Good luck

 

 

[NobbyNobbs]

thanks for the suggestions. everything she knows has been self-taught so we have no idea just how smart she will be with some structure in her life.

 

i like the idea of the science type experiments, she loves to know the reasons behind things so that might appeal. i've got some wipe-clean learn to write flash cards today, so we can make a start on writing and reading at the same time.

 

she has some very challenging and violent behaviour at the moment in general, so theres not really anything we can do about nursery until she's calmed down more elsewhere but i feel using her brain might be one way to help her settle down a bit. because of the behaviour problems the gardening stuff isn't really possible. she helps with the watering in the evening, but is more likely to chuck water over me and hit me with the watering can than water the plants! cress might be a safe option, if i put it out of reach and just take it down to show her each day.

[Greg F]

I'm new here but your little girl sounds exactly like my son.

 

Finding things to keep him interested is always a challenge - he absorbs things he likes at a phenomenal rate.

 

He liked rockets so I taught him about space (planet names, constellations). I bought him a telescope and a planetarium so he could learn more about the subject.

 

He liked pirates so I taught him about ships, water and the creatures inhabiting it.

 

As a child I was privileged enough to live in Europe and learned a number of foreign languages, unfortunately over time I forgot them or I would have taught him that too.

 

Children will readily latch onto new things that appeal to them, just think how to expand that to other related things and keep their attention that way.

 

You are lucky to have a gifted child, how this gift is used is entirely in your hands.

[call me jaded]

I have a 10 year old girl who is similar - walked at 7.5 months, knew her alphabet at 16 months, constant questions ever since. I would caution against teaching reading and writing because there will be absolutely NOTHING to learn for the first couple of years when they get to school.

 

Personally I would concentrate on the behaviour. My own DD needed almost rigid firmness and constant monitoring and it was frankly quite exhausting keeping behaviour in check but worth it in the end. Yes it is boredom, but I have encouraged her to learn the skill of waiting as I knew she would have to be able to do this for much of her school life*. We have also developed her skills in sport/physically, which she does not find easy. So basically we used the academic stuff as a reward for all the other work.

 

At five we were faced with a choice: stress that she wasn't being stretched enough, or accept that she wouldn't be stretched until she went to uni. We chose a stress-free decade

 

* One teacher told me she finished the first extensions she set as most of the others got to the end of their first question.

[NobbyNobbs]

ahh, i've just been put on the naughty step for unknown reasons so have got 5 minutes to reply before she notices i'm gone!

 

we're certainly not going to do anything like formal lessons, but with the failure rate for looked after children being so huge (only 11% get even 1 GCSE), we have a duty to give her the best chance in life from the start, so i suspect we'd be in trouble with her social worker if we didn't explore her potential. i think even without us teaching her she'll be reading soon, we're reading about 8 books to her a day as its currently her favorite thing, and she's already starting to read along with certain words sometimes its scary - she can recite 'we're going on a bearhunt' word perfect, and isn't far off with some other books, so its hard to tell what she is reading and what she has in her memory. its all so shocking because she has done all this herself by watching tv. as far as we know there has been no parental input.

 

[call me jaded]

Awwww. She's just loving the attention. Don't worry, she'll be correcting you soon DD was like a sponge, only ever had to tell her something once. Her reception teacher was telling everyone about the summary on the back of a book. "Ohh you mean the blurb" - said by a four year old - made my friend who was the TA (and now my youngest's nursery teacher) choke with laughter.

[NobbyNobbs]

another quick question - is there a form of statement for pre-school children and can you get a statement before they start school if they are obviously going to need one?? she's going to need one for her behavioural and emotional problems

Edited July 8, 2009 by NobbyNobbs

[NobbyNobbs]

this morning i walked into the living room to find her almost finished putting together a 100 piece puzzle... completely on her own. she has also now learnt to count in 2s... we think from looking at house numbers when we go on walks!

 

does anyone know any good information on repeating phrases word-perfect with intonation? she recited the whole of we're going on a bear hunt today, but included 'can you splash too?' presumably repeated from when nursery read it and try to get the kids involved

[pookie170]

I'm no expert, but when my youngest received his first reading books from school, I brought this up with his teacher because I was concerned that he was merely memorising instead of reading the book. She assured me that this was part of the plan, setting children up to believe they can do it kinda thing. That way, they can move forward feeling confident and tackle harder stuff with the knowledge that they can read instead of worry/fear hampering them. Does that make sense? The repetition of simple words works in a similar vein, increasing letter/word recognition skills, as well as helping them learn how sounds go together to form words. The fact that she does this readily and well just points to her capabilities....I think she's landed on her feet with you guys,I really do. So many foster carers go all out to encourage the kids they look after and do a fabulous job, but sadly, it's only the ones that DON'T that we hear about.

 

I can heartily recommend the Oxford Reading Tree series of books that my lad's school uses, namely the Magic Key series.

 

http://www.oup.com/oxed/primary/electronicresources/orto/

 

The first readers are extremely simple, with focus on a lot of CVC (consonant-vowel-consonant) words, like Mum, Dad, bat, dog......

They're fun, interesting and I actually enjoy reading them when homework time comes round. I'm not suggesting you should go all out to teach her to read, but something tells me she might get there herself anyway. These books would be stimulating and enjoyable....and as an added Brucie Bonus, there's an animated BBC series too and all sorts of extension type activities that you could try out.

You could laminate a pic of one of the character's faces, for instance, and give the littley a pot of playdough to roll make features for it. Or, you could print key words and see if she can shape the play dough into the letters using the print as a guide.

Why not use the Bearhunt book (I love it too, good taste, that girl!) as a basis for extended activities.....make a bear mask together, draw and laminate a pic of the Dad's face and get her to draw on the features. Actually, you could use that as a discussion about feelings. Ask her how Dad might feel when they go in to the gloomy cave, why he might feel that way, how she might feel if it was her and draw on the appropriate features? I used this with both of my kids, but it was especially useful for my eldest because he too has E.B.S problems. Just trying to get him to think about how he would feel in certain situations, and project that onto others.....?

Or just go for all-out fun and make a bear collage, or collect organic material on a nature walk to make a pic of say, the swishy-swashy grass with?

An activity that many nurseries now set kids is to follow differently shaped lines with their pencil. Wavy lines, zigzags, bumpy.......these all help children develop their fine motor skills and build the foundations for letter formation later on. Again, you can incorporate this into other things, like the Bearhunt book- wavy, continuous lines to go over in a pic of the river, perhaps?

 

Good luck with this, I hope you're getting good help with her EBD needs.

 

Esther x

 

 

 

[NobbyNobbs]

thanks for the suggestions, i've looked at the oxford reading tree books, but wasn't sure since they seemed to consist mostly of names, but i guess they know what they're doing! i think the plan is to go to the local primary school after the holidays and beg some books from them, we're well known to them because they've had several of our foster kids before. for now we're just trailing our finger under the words as we read her stories and get her to join in with anything she can remember.

 

she was showing off the other day pretending to read words (got them all wrong) but obviously she now wants to read. we've started her going over letter outlines to get her used to holding a pen. unfortunately she's left handed, so its quite tricky showing her what to do, she wants to copy but then its all in the wrong hand for her. she also has terrible fine motor control, she still struggles to get a spoon into her mouth let alone draw or write anything.

[pookie170]

Might I suggest you try threading activities? Big chunky beads with large holes and a shoelace, not the wee fiddly ones. (That would frustrate me, let alone a 3 year old!!)

Also, give her a pile of mags and safety scissors and let her hack away at them to her hearts' content.(this is fab coming up to birthdays and Christmas, they chop out things they would like and you can stick them onto a stocking made of card!!)

And as much playdough or modelling clay as you can stomach, all these things are excellent for building up the muscles in the hands and fingers. (I hope I'm not coming across as condescending here??? )

 

The fine motor thing and the awkwardness of being left-handed will pass, neither of my sons had terribly good FM skills for ages, and my youngest is a leftie too....something that seems to impress his friends. My eldest in particular, had dreadful motor skills, but he got there in the end.

 

One thing my youngest came up with was after we got an alphabet line and stuck it on the wall in his room. He made a game where either he or I would point to a random letter and the other person had to say which letter it was. He loved it when I got it wrong and he could correct me! But you could modify that too, to maybe 5 letters at a time as she learns new ones?

That works with a number line as well. I suppose anything goes, as long as it's fun, hey?

 

Keep us posted on how she's getting on, she sounds like a real wee character (and I mean that in a nice way!)

 

Esther x

 

[NobbyNobbs]

not condescending at all! some of it isn't possible because of behavioural probs (theres no way she can be let near scissors (although i might cut lots of shapes and pictures out for her and she can glue them), and shes on restricted access to pens, pencils and crayons due to decorating the walls) but a lot of it is great, will certainly look out for the giant plastic needle and cards with holes.

 

we already play alphabet games, she knows it inside out and upside down although theres a slight problem when she sings the song (we get 'ello' and 'menno' rather than L M N O, although she knows the letters individually everywhere else). we have those foam letters you can play with in the bath and i'm teaching her to spell her name at the moment as well as mine, although if she can get mine right she's truly a genius as i'm the proud owner of a 9 letter name! i might get creative and decorate her room with some basic sums or numbers soon.

 

i think she's probably more of a maths person than a words one, she seems to really enjoy counting absolutely everything (including the number of poos she does!)

 

another funny point - she has memorised every road speed sign on our route to nursery... and can tell you what the next one will be a good 5 minutes before we get to it - right down to '40 with a 30 on the back'!! we went a different way today, but then went onto the nursery route for a little bit, and suddenly she announced '50 is next'... and round a few corners it was, so she's not even learning it in order as a repetition.

 

i feel we're finding our feet a bit more now, just going with whatever she likes and stopping what she doesn't straight away, but i dont think i'll ever stop being surprised by what she can do

 

[call me jaded]

Sounds lovely

 

DS (non-verbal) learnt to read using Oxford Reading Tree. Many hours spent on those books and then when the others started primary I had go through them all again - on my fourth time around. My DS2 found them ultra-boring and his reading only took off when we switched to Captain Underpants (tra-la-laaa!). Reading is a lot of repetition, taking the clues from the pictures and memorising. Realised DD was actually reading when she asked "What does F, B, I spell?" - from the front of a newspaper.

 

As I said we did a lot of work on the physical side of things - gross motor first and then fine motor. I already had Madelyn Portwood's book on Developmental Dyspraxia for DS and adopted a lot of the exercises from that. DD is considered sporty by her friends rather than geeky. The school have also trained her up as a reading buddy for struggling readers and have generally been quite imaginative in the use of her time - she goes and helps out in her sister's class.

 

We found DD needed us to be very clear on what's acceptable behaviour - more so than the others. She will always test the boundaries and try to negotiate just one more concession which I used to find a bit wearing. In the end you just have to say no and stick to it. The earlier you say no the better - gets it all over with.

 

Her emotional maturity is the same as other children of her age and sometimes we forget that and expect her behaviour to be that of someone older. We have to cut her some slack on that.

 

The best advice I can give is just enjoy it and have fun.

[bid]

All 4 of mine are 'gifted' (hate that term TBH).

 

When they were little they had free rein with scissors, glue, paper, crayons, etc, more than concentrating on reading schemes, etc. They used to make little books, and write 'stories' (pre-school). Lots of games like 'shops', etc.

 

We read to them all the time, and they have always seen adults reading.

 

My personal feeling was to let them play in such a way so that they developed the pre-reading skills they needed for school, but hadn't 'done it all' when it came to actual reading.

 

Bid

Edited July 19, 2009 by bid